M
Okay so basically I have sort of been an on again off again Christian my whole life. Recently I have been going to a Church I love and am really getting my roots planted. I started going right after the birth of my daughter when I developed severe anxiety and felt that the only one who could help me was God. I had always known that despite 11 years of sexual abuse I suffered as a child/teenager.
Anyway I love this Church and I come back so energized and feel so secure and loved by God. At night is when my anxiety sets in and it's so bad sometimes I get very little sleep. Anyway, I went to Church tonight (Sat night) because my husband works tomorrow. I realized during that sermon that the reason I have this anxiety is because God knows that if I didn't I would drift away from him again as I have done in the past and to me it also makes sense, even though I love the Church I am at.
So leaving Church I was greatful that God had revealed himself to me and let me know why I have struggled with 2 years of night time anxiety so I was content, not because I had it but because I finally understood why I had it and why my prayers for him to take it away had not been answered.
I got home and everything changed though. The anxiety began to get stronger than I ever remember and began crushing me. Usually I would pray and it would go away but this time it didn't, instead it got more intense. I know it is the devil and he is afraid of the lesson I learned and is trying to make me be worry and be afraid. I don't want to let him win but what can I do when the anxiety festers to the point I am shaking and can't sleep. I have banished Satan in the name of Jesus and prayed and 99% of the time that does the trick but what can I do that 1% of the time when I worry so much that it is almost unbearable.
April
Anyway I love this Church and I come back so energized and feel so secure and loved by God. At night is when my anxiety sets in and it's so bad sometimes I get very little sleep. Anyway, I went to Church tonight (Sat night) because my husband works tomorrow. I realized during that sermon that the reason I have this anxiety is because God knows that if I didn't I would drift away from him again as I have done in the past and to me it also makes sense, even though I love the Church I am at.
So leaving Church I was greatful that God had revealed himself to me and let me know why I have struggled with 2 years of night time anxiety so I was content, not because I had it but because I finally understood why I had it and why my prayers for him to take it away had not been answered.
I got home and everything changed though. The anxiety began to get stronger than I ever remember and began crushing me. Usually I would pray and it would go away but this time it didn't, instead it got more intense. I know it is the devil and he is afraid of the lesson I learned and is trying to make me be worry and be afraid. I don't want to let him win but what can I do when the anxiety festers to the point I am shaking and can't sleep. I have banished Satan in the name of Jesus and prayed and 99% of the time that does the trick but what can I do that 1% of the time when I worry so much that it is almost unbearable.
April