P
Powemm
Guest
I would like to thank my Heavenly Father , who breathed new life back into me 
I count it all joy !!
I was taken from my home at the age of three .. The first memory I can ever recall from my childhood is was running down cent stairs onto a rocky road. I saw feet and My right hand was being grasped tightly by a very bug hand . I do not recall anything ever said nor can recall any faces .. I found out later it was the day Dhs came and took me from my family.. I do not recall anything.. My next memory was being in foster care. I remember a pig that shown down on the kitchen table like a friend waiting for me every evening when I ate.. Alone. My next memory was being placed in another foster home where I was smothered a lot in the garage. I remeber my Arms being pulled out to my side and sat on, while someone held my feet. A single hand would go over my nose and mouth I never could figure out what was fun about doing that for someone..nor tried.. I remember holding my breath until whoever it was doing it thought I was dead.. after a while it stopped..in that same foster home I was locked outside during storms and I remember seeing a giant tree that stood all by itself out in the field .. It lit up so brightly that I can still see it in my mind like I just looked at it. I remember in that same home a lot of yelling and screaming and things never felt safe there.. I ran down a hallway "one of the only times I can remember playing " when a hand grabbed my arm and twisted it to the point it broke. I remember being told to tell that I had fallen.. When I said I was going to tell my social worker I was in the bath tub.. I was yanked out of the tub by my hair, thrown on to a tile floor, then beaten in my private parts with a wire bristle brush. I remember how bad it stung to go to the bathroom "I had just gotten my cast on". The only friend I had was a doll named Mary Audrey . It's the only smile I can remember through all of that. I was in foster care from the age of three to the age of five I dont remeber birthday parties or friends .. I remeber thinking " I must have been a very big mistake and I wasn't really suppose to be born . All of that was confirmed when I wanted to learn to tie my shoe one day and in the middle of that being molested..for the remainder if the time I was left in that home . The day came when I was adopted. I remeber telling the judge while sitting in his chair. " if Mary Audrey couldn't go, I wasn't going either. She was in my arms wrapped so tightly when I walked out in my dress to meet my new parents.. I felt so ugly ..I had a broken arm and hair missing all over the place. I remember not trusting the hugs or believing things were going to be okay . But I went. I rode in a Volkswagen bug. We sang "oh we ain't got a barrel of money , maybe we're ragged and funny, but we're traveling along, singing a song, side by side!! lol!" first song I had ever learned. We drive to my grandparents house. First person to greet me was my grandfather "Gordon Bibb" was his name . He picked me up and walked me over to the pheasant pen and a black lab tagging along grandpas side . I remember thinking " he's got a friend like my Mary Audrey" I handed her to Him and he's the first person I introduced her to. I thought for sure he would need two friends like I did.. As we walked i remember an army helicopter flying overhead. I asked grandpa " what is that" he said "that's an army helecopter"I remember thinking! this must be my army that has come to save me! My life was full of little girl dreams, Up to the day mom and dad got divorced..it confirmed I could trust nothing to be secure. I got pregnant at 18 had two children..husband was an alcoholic but I stuck with it for fifteen years. I held on so tightly for it not to break down , but did.. I did everything I could to keep it together.. Even that was not enough .. Made only enough to pay rent and keep utilities on, but with two boys 13 and 16.. I couldn't handle the financial load.. They moved in with their grandparents and my heart broke. Another confirmation I wasn't good enough , and a failure .. I was so desperate for love that I got into a very abusive relationship.. So abusive I had my sternum broke.. And again my hair ripped out and bite marks all over my face from a vicious attack.. . I remembery mom saying "he's going to kill you if you dint get out". It was at that point I packed up everything in the house , donated everything to salvation army .. I look back and laugh about the significance of that now.. it was in my last day at the house I sat down in my kitchen and cried out to God. Iran I poured everything from hysteria, to anger, out.. I even had the nerve at that point to say to him, if you are this Gid you say you are, where have you been my while life? And if you even exist then show yourself to me so can speak to you face to face, because where Ive been , you doesn't exist!! . it was a cloudy day and something pushed me to look in the cabinet I was sitting next to ... The cabinets were deep.. I saw something in the back and reached in to see what it was. I was stunned when I pulled the object out.. I rented this house and cleaned that shelf out before putting anything in it..
The object I pulled out was a Bible. I sat it in my lap and barked again.. I cried out to God again and said throughout snot and tears, I'm sorry I don't know who you are.. If I wasn't a mistake to you, you're going to have to show me I can trust you , that you exist.. I've tried to read this book before and none of it makes sense. So if I mean anything at all you're going to have to make it very clear to me.. I sighed and with no confidence, I opened it up.. O remember thinking.. This is my last hope. Lord please let me at least understand one thing I read. I opened the book to psalms 91... I laid flat in that kitchen floor with my face to the ground .. And cried again.. I sat up on my knees.. And just sat there looking out the window to the grey cloudy sky.. It was at that moment the sun poked through the clouds and a ray came through the window and shine on me.. I remeber the warmth and having goosebumps at the same time.. I looked at the rays in the palm of my hand amd then noticed right where I was sitting there was only sunlight shining around me.. The rest of the room had multiple windows but grey was all around the outside of me.. I KNEW without a doubt it was God.. My journey with Him up to this very present moment has healed me of all Hurt, all suffering and memories.. I would even joke about them right now but if you have or are going through anything simular , laughter can be hard to find .. I'm hear to tell anyone that will listen .. I'm free today because of Jesus Christ .. I was the woman at the well He gave me a drink and I have never thirsted again.. I was blind and now I see.. He informed me the only kingdom I belong to is His Kingsom amd he has adopted me into it as an heir because of His Son Jesus Christ who now lives in me.. I am rightfully and respectfully His.. Today, I know exactly who I am in Christ, and there are no other Gods before Him. I was bought and paid for with a price and I was blessed and given a full panoramic view into the life and suffering My Lord Jesus Christ , went through. Imagine that but even more!! God has restored my relationship with Him.. He has given me His security, his approval, His thoughts,his peace, that He will never leave me nor forsake me.. No never will He. God is not a man that He should lie.. He is Alpha and Omega! The first and the last..the author and the finisher.. Our Creatir! Our protector and provider. He is all seeing , all knowing. Our Ultimate Physician , Father and Friend! He is Jesus Christ! King of kings and Lord of lords! For he knows the plans he has for us, and He is nit a man that He should lie.. Isaiah 61 1-4 is the scripture placed in my heart.. May my integrity to Him never leave me! All Glory and thanks be to God
I count it all joy !!
I was taken from my home at the age of three .. The first memory I can ever recall from my childhood is was running down cent stairs onto a rocky road. I saw feet and My right hand was being grasped tightly by a very bug hand . I do not recall anything ever said nor can recall any faces .. I found out later it was the day Dhs came and took me from my family.. I do not recall anything.. My next memory was being in foster care. I remember a pig that shown down on the kitchen table like a friend waiting for me every evening when I ate.. Alone. My next memory was being placed in another foster home where I was smothered a lot in the garage. I remeber my Arms being pulled out to my side and sat on, while someone held my feet. A single hand would go over my nose and mouth I never could figure out what was fun about doing that for someone..nor tried.. I remember holding my breath until whoever it was doing it thought I was dead.. after a while it stopped..in that same foster home I was locked outside during storms and I remember seeing a giant tree that stood all by itself out in the field .. It lit up so brightly that I can still see it in my mind like I just looked at it. I remember in that same home a lot of yelling and screaming and things never felt safe there.. I ran down a hallway "one of the only times I can remember playing " when a hand grabbed my arm and twisted it to the point it broke. I remember being told to tell that I had fallen.. When I said I was going to tell my social worker I was in the bath tub.. I was yanked out of the tub by my hair, thrown on to a tile floor, then beaten in my private parts with a wire bristle brush. I remember how bad it stung to go to the bathroom "I had just gotten my cast on". The only friend I had was a doll named Mary Audrey . It's the only smile I can remember through all of that. I was in foster care from the age of three to the age of five I dont remeber birthday parties or friends .. I remeber thinking " I must have been a very big mistake and I wasn't really suppose to be born . All of that was confirmed when I wanted to learn to tie my shoe one day and in the middle of that being molested..for the remainder if the time I was left in that home . The day came when I was adopted. I remeber telling the judge while sitting in his chair. " if Mary Audrey couldn't go, I wasn't going either. She was in my arms wrapped so tightly when I walked out in my dress to meet my new parents.. I felt so ugly ..I had a broken arm and hair missing all over the place. I remember not trusting the hugs or believing things were going to be okay . But I went. I rode in a Volkswagen bug. We sang "oh we ain't got a barrel of money , maybe we're ragged and funny, but we're traveling along, singing a song, side by side!! lol!" first song I had ever learned. We drive to my grandparents house. First person to greet me was my grandfather "Gordon Bibb" was his name . He picked me up and walked me over to the pheasant pen and a black lab tagging along grandpas side . I remember thinking " he's got a friend like my Mary Audrey" I handed her to Him and he's the first person I introduced her to. I thought for sure he would need two friends like I did.. As we walked i remember an army helicopter flying overhead. I asked grandpa " what is that" he said "that's an army helecopter"I remember thinking! this must be my army that has come to save me! My life was full of little girl dreams, Up to the day mom and dad got divorced..it confirmed I could trust nothing to be secure. I got pregnant at 18 had two children..husband was an alcoholic but I stuck with it for fifteen years. I held on so tightly for it not to break down , but did.. I did everything I could to keep it together.. Even that was not enough .. Made only enough to pay rent and keep utilities on, but with two boys 13 and 16.. I couldn't handle the financial load.. They moved in with their grandparents and my heart broke. Another confirmation I wasn't good enough , and a failure .. I was so desperate for love that I got into a very abusive relationship.. So abusive I had my sternum broke.. And again my hair ripped out and bite marks all over my face from a vicious attack.. . I remembery mom saying "he's going to kill you if you dint get out". It was at that point I packed up everything in the house , donated everything to salvation army .. I look back and laugh about the significance of that now.. it was in my last day at the house I sat down in my kitchen and cried out to God. Iran I poured everything from hysteria, to anger, out.. I even had the nerve at that point to say to him, if you are this Gid you say you are, where have you been my while life? And if you even exist then show yourself to me so can speak to you face to face, because where Ive been , you doesn't exist!! . it was a cloudy day and something pushed me to look in the cabinet I was sitting next to ... The cabinets were deep.. I saw something in the back and reached in to see what it was. I was stunned when I pulled the object out.. I rented this house and cleaned that shelf out before putting anything in it..
The object I pulled out was a Bible. I sat it in my lap and barked again.. I cried out to God again and said throughout snot and tears, I'm sorry I don't know who you are.. If I wasn't a mistake to you, you're going to have to show me I can trust you , that you exist.. I've tried to read this book before and none of it makes sense. So if I mean anything at all you're going to have to make it very clear to me.. I sighed and with no confidence, I opened it up.. O remember thinking.. This is my last hope. Lord please let me at least understand one thing I read. I opened the book to psalms 91... I laid flat in that kitchen floor with my face to the ground .. And cried again.. I sat up on my knees.. And just sat there looking out the window to the grey cloudy sky.. It was at that moment the sun poked through the clouds and a ray came through the window and shine on me.. I remeber the warmth and having goosebumps at the same time.. I looked at the rays in the palm of my hand amd then noticed right where I was sitting there was only sunlight shining around me.. The rest of the room had multiple windows but grey was all around the outside of me.. I KNEW without a doubt it was God.. My journey with Him up to this very present moment has healed me of all Hurt, all suffering and memories.. I would even joke about them right now but if you have or are going through anything simular , laughter can be hard to find .. I'm hear to tell anyone that will listen .. I'm free today because of Jesus Christ .. I was the woman at the well
He gave me a drink and I have never thirsted again.. I was blind and now I see.. He informed me the only kingdom I belong to is His Kingsom amd he has adopted me into it as an heir because of His Son Jesus Christ who now lives in me.. I am rightfully and respectfully His.. Today, I know exactly who I am in Christ, and there are no other Gods before Him. I was bought and paid for with a price and I was blessed and given a full panoramic view into the life and suffering My Lord Jesus Christ , went through. Imagine that but even more!! God has restored my relationship with Him.. He has given me His security, his approval, His thoughts,his peace, that He will never leave me nor forsake me.. No never will He. God is not a man that He should lie.. He is Alpha and Omega! The first and the last..the author and the finisher.. Our Creatir! Our protector and provider. He is all seeing , all knowing. Our Ultimate Physician , Father and Friend! He is Jesus Christ! King of kings and Lord of lords! For he knows the plans he has for us, and He is nit a man that He should lie.. Isaiah 61 1-4 is the scripture placed in my heart.. May my integrity to Him never leave me! All Glory and thanks be to God