M
moguy78
Guest
I don't know if this is the right place for me to put this type of problem, or even if it should be here, but hopefully it is and not wrong to do so.
I'm a 28 year old guy, as well as a virgin, which really doesn't bother me. I was raised in a traditional christian family, went to church every Sunday and Wednesday night, etc. Because of that, my parents, like most others, always told my siblings and me that we should wait until marriage to be physically intimate. They also taught us to never look at someone of the opposite sex as a thing, but to always look at them as a person. So because of my christian faith, I made sure I was never in any situation where that could happen by rarely going out with the same girl more than a couple of times and the ones that I did go out with more often knew where I stood, most of them going to the same church that I did anyway.
Later, as I went to college and then began a career, I was always busy with my studies and finding a good, stable job. I also began spending time with a few friends that I had made, as I had never had time to do so before.
Now comes my problem. When I was around 30 (about 3 years ago), I felt I was in that place in my life where I was ready to get married and have a family. Over these past three years, I've gone out with 2 or 3 women, but each time I've dated someone, we'll go out for 5 or 6 months and become very good friends. But then when things start getting serious, my feelings will freeze. A couple of examples are: we'll be on the couch at one of our homes (I wouldn't move in with any of them), and she'll want to start kissing. She expects me to get into it with her, but all I really feel myself is a physical kiss with no emotional feeling to it. Or we'll be watching a movie at her house and after a while, she will come down from her room wearing something a little revealing (not much, but enough). I'll tell her how nice she looks, but she expects me to tell her how sexy she looks and how it makes me feel, but I can't tell her that because it doesn't. All 3 of them have been very attractive, so it's not that. Is it just that I've had those types of feelings turned off for so long that I can no longer see them as a sexual being but only as another person living in this world for me to be friends with? Please help me.
I'm a 28 year old guy, as well as a virgin, which really doesn't bother me. I was raised in a traditional christian family, went to church every Sunday and Wednesday night, etc. Because of that, my parents, like most others, always told my siblings and me that we should wait until marriage to be physically intimate. They also taught us to never look at someone of the opposite sex as a thing, but to always look at them as a person. So because of my christian faith, I made sure I was never in any situation where that could happen by rarely going out with the same girl more than a couple of times and the ones that I did go out with more often knew where I stood, most of them going to the same church that I did anyway.
Later, as I went to college and then began a career, I was always busy with my studies and finding a good, stable job. I also began spending time with a few friends that I had made, as I had never had time to do so before.
Now comes my problem. When I was around 30 (about 3 years ago), I felt I was in that place in my life where I was ready to get married and have a family. Over these past three years, I've gone out with 2 or 3 women, but each time I've dated someone, we'll go out for 5 or 6 months and become very good friends. But then when things start getting serious, my feelings will freeze. A couple of examples are: we'll be on the couch at one of our homes (I wouldn't move in with any of them), and she'll want to start kissing. She expects me to get into it with her, but all I really feel myself is a physical kiss with no emotional feeling to it. Or we'll be watching a movie at her house and after a while, she will come down from her room wearing something a little revealing (not much, but enough). I'll tell her how nice she looks, but she expects me to tell her how sexy she looks and how it makes me feel, but I can't tell her that because it doesn't. All 3 of them have been very attractive, so it's not that. Is it just that I've had those types of feelings turned off for so long that I can no longer see them as a sexual being but only as another person living in this world for me to be friends with? Please help me.
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