How did you deal with your first break up?

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Christmusiclover7

Guest
#1
#1
I'm just curious to hear other people's stories on their break-ups they've been through? I recently just broke up with my now ex girlfriend about a couple weeks ago or so. We dated for almost 14 months. I know I broke up with her for the right reasons because I felt God intended for me to do it and I'm glad I did. She ended up being a completely different person after the break up. She was not who she was during the relationship, so I'm glad I found out now rather than later. So yea! What did you do after the break up occurred? How long did it take you to get over it? Etc? I'm over her now. I'm just moving on and wanting to focus more on my relationship with Christ and hangout more with brothers and sisters in Christ from my church. :)
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#2
#2
Honestly?

My first breakup was the decision of my parents. They said I was too young to date a college boy. I was only 16 and they were completely right, but I still cried myself to sleep and didn't talk much to anyone for a very long time. But life DID go on, as you are now learning, right? :) I didn't die..it just felt like it. :)

Your choices have been wise. God will honor and bless you accordingly. :)
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#3
#3
I was 16, he was 17. We dated for a year. He was my best friend. His mom said he could do much better than me, so he started dating another girl behind my back, one that his mom liked. He eventually dumped me. Needless to say i was crushed. I dont do the whole crying myself to sleep deal so
One sunday while he was at church with this girl, my friend liz and i smashed up his car, then i went to my older brothers house and got really drunk...
That was the only way i knew how to deal with it.
It took me a very long time to finally get over all of that.
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#4
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#4
Let's see... my first break up was quite a mess. After almost 5 years of dating, I was thoroughly convinced that I was going to marry her once I graduated college. God had other plans, but that didn't change how bad it hurt. It may sound over-dramatic, but in the 6 months or so that it took me to really get past that relationship, I came to appreciate two things. First, what rejected love is like, which I think helped me kind of get into the mindset of God and humanities rejection of Him. Secondly, what separation from love feels like. I was a mess after being separated from a girl who I probably shouldn't have held on to for that long to being with. The bible describes hell in somewhat physical terms, but separation from love is much worse than that. I'd take physical pain any day over the pain from that break up.

I guess I've kind of gotten off topic now. It took me probably a couple of years to really move past that relationship. I did some foolish things, and (even though I didn't intend to) I went through a couple of very brief "relationships" long before I was really prepared to. Dating for a week or two, nothing really good came out of them. Although in that time there were a few friendships that grew and luckily didn't become more. Supporting friends can be great, but be careful with friends of the opposite gender; it's particularly easy to develop feelings for the ones that support you, especially when you're so vulnerable after a breakup.

If I had known how, I'm sure it would have been a time that leaning heavily on God could have saved a lot of pain.

Hope this helps. :)
 
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NMsmile

Guest
#5
#5
I count my blessings and thank God for his mercy. I remind myself to be still and know that he is God. I remember his promise in Jeremiah 29:11 which says, "I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

On a personal level I get deeper into the Word of God, I get more involved with believers and I pray for that person. I hope this helps you recover.

Best wishes.
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#6
#6
It took me years. we only dated one year but it took like 3 years to be able to look at his face or picture and not have my heart hurt.

I'm over him now but the pain I went through is like nothing I've ever felt. i cried. . . .for months. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that i KNEW i was going to get over this eventually.
 
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ALAYO

Guest
#7
#7
Um...well was 20yrs old wen i started my 1st datin,which lasted4 2 yrs.Met him tru a chatin site on fon network,d dating started witout seeing each oda for 3months.Wasnt in luv wit him at 1st but my luv4him lata grew byond his luv 4me.I endured4 2yrs dint enjoy d relatnshp,but wat finaly led2d separatn was dat his parents wer not in support cos av som physical challenges.got ova it a month lata after anoda relatnshp dat neva lastd...I wasnt bornagain den but now i knw beta according2 JEREMIAH 29:11.ITS WELL
 
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Christmusiclover7

Guest
#8
#8
Yea I totally agree NMsmile. That's the exact bible verse I looked up after the whole break up. I was like alright God, you have a future for me and I obviously know now that its not going to be with her. So yea I'll definitely be having that verse in my mind.
 
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Jawsh

Guest
#9
#9
I got out of my first real relationship 6 months ago. It lasted 2 years and I'm still dealing with the fallout from it. The most important part for me that I recently realized is that it's all a part of God's plan. I feel a call from Him in my life that I know I would have ignored if I was still with my girlfriend. I'm selfish and sometimes wish I could have it differently, but I realize that God knows what's best for me far better than I could ever understand. Everything happens for a reason.
 
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chich

Guest
#10
#10
@Jawsh...everything truly happens for a reason.. We just don't know God's plan for us..so when he acts on our behalf we just have to go along with it. @Christmusiclover7...It's good that you have stepped away from your hurt. It's not really easy at first but over time you do feel better off for having split. You start to see the bigger picture and realize they were really not your perfect match and that you really deserve that person, you deserve better or someone that truly appreciates you for who you are. :) Give it time and sooner or later you'll feel like it never even happened at all!
 
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chich

Guest
#11
#11
Oops..I meant 'you really didn't deserve that person...'
 
Sevndust

Sevndust

Senior Member
#12
Jan 15, 2006
129
1
16
#12
Got blazed and constantly played Bob Marley's No Woman No Cry...but oh did I cry, like a baby!
 
Last edited:
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#13
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
I was 16, he was 17. We dated for a year. He was my best friend. His mom said he could do much better than me, so he started dating another girl behind my back, one that his mom liked. He eventually dumped me. Needless to say i was crushed. I dont do the whole crying myself to sleep deal so
One sunday while he was at church with this girl, my friend liz and i smashed up his car, then i went to my older brothers house and got really drunk...
That was the only way i knew how to deal with it.
It took me a very long time to finally get over all of that.
Click to expand...
So you took it well.
 
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allforchrist10

Guest
#14
#14
i havent ever had a real realationship that lastred for years the most i have was bout a few months but one realationship i did say yes tto a proposal after only 2 months of dating engaged for 2 months so that made it 4 months of knowing this guy but it was my old pastors son and at first i thought God was in our relationship but after i said yes to the proposaal he wanted more things like sexual things and he wasnt supporting my decision to stay a virgin til my wedding night so i had to end that it didnt take me long to get over him bc it was like a burden lifted from me but my friends say taht he still isnt over me and when i would bring another guy round he would give us both very nasty looks
 
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nyla

Guest
#15
#15
MY 1ST BREAK UP WAS HARD I WAS 17 AND WE WAS TOGETHER WITH MY 1ST BOYFRIEND FOR ABOUT 3YRS HE THOUGHT SINCE I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE SEX LIKE EVERY ONE WAS DOING AT THAT TIME WHO WAS IN LOVE AT THE AGE WE WERE THAT HE FIND SOME ONE WHO WILL. IM GLADE WE SLIT UP AND WENT SEPRET WAYS I SEE HIM NOW SINCE WE ALL GROWN UP HE STILL LIKE THAT 17YR OLD BOY I NEW AND HE 40 YEARS OLD LOST FROM LIFE AND EVERY THING THAT MOVES AROUND HIM AND I SIT AND ASK MY SELF TODAY WHY DID I CRY FOR MOUTHS OVER HIM, AND I STILL DONT HAVE THE ANSWER TO THAT BUT IT WAS GOD PLAIN AND WILL. GOD BLESS
 
TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#16
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#16
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
I was 16, he was 17. We dated for a year. He was my best friend. His mom said he could do much better than me, so he started dating another girl behind my back, one that his mom liked. He eventually dumped me. Needless to say i was crushed. I dont do the whole crying myself to sleep deal so
One sunday while he was at church with this girl, my friend liz and i smashed up his car, then i went to my older brothers house and got really drunk...
That was the only way i knew how to deal with it.
It took me a very long time to finally get over all of that.
Click to expand...
That'll teach him to go to church! :D
 
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astro

Guest
#18
#18
How did I deal with my first breakup...well a picture says more than a thousand words

CLICK THIS
 
BobPage

BobPage

Banned
#19
Sep 21, 2011
95
0
0
33
#19
I got into the fetal position in my closet and remained there for the rest of the year. With a thumb in my mouth cradling back and forth
 
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preschoolteacher24

Guest
#20
#20
Well actaully i consider my first breakup my last breakup really. I mean was the actual real one others we would talk for a bit but not really a relationship this past one we dated like year and a half and mmmm I mean we are human it hurts and its normal. My relationship ended like almost a year ago this febuary well be Iam ok now but it did hurt alot my breakup had a lot of emotional attached too it for lots of reasons. I cried for months I had never fell really inlove, was engaged basically and soo much more but like they said god doesnt give us more then what we can handle. I mean we well be in pain of course we are human but we well survive and if that person is meant for us they well end up back if not its ok god has someone better for us out there.
 
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