One of my best friends is addicted to pot. I know, everyone says you cant become addicted, but I have read and believe that it is a psychological addiction. He thinks he needs it. He is a really good guy. He became very close to God and quit smoking and has helped me in my relationship with God. But he has drifted back into the habit. And it changes him, a lot. He goes weeks or months without talking to me, and I know why, he has told me, when he wasnt on it, that when he is on it he tends to stay away from ones that dont smoke bc. he doesnt want to hear about how he shouldnt do it. He was in church for a while, but has gotten out again. I want to help him. He is an wonderful person, but when hes smoking pot he becomes depressed, distant, etc. What can I say or do? I think he also may be developing a drinking problem. He has a lot of family issues, but he does have a few close family members who are christians. (Although he also has some that are not christians that are immediate family as well and lead him to do these things). We used to do bible study and spend a lot of time together. I want that back, but most importantly, I want him to be happy and he is not when he is smoking. Any suggestions?
Alot of people will tell you that it's not addiction. And they're right, it's not physically addictive like nicotine or amphetamines, his body won't start to rebel if he stops taking it. but psychologically, definitely.
Depending on what he's using it for (and for how many years), will depend on the severety of the addiction. If he's using it to self medicate, then it'll be stronger, if he's lying to himself, telling himself that he's not self medicating but just to enjoy himself, then worse again.
Myself, for years I was self medicating. Telling myself I was just taking the good out of life, because, life, was so crap. Realising I was compensating was my first step.. but it still took a long time.
But as you say, it makes you receed. The main thing with pot is it makes you ok with doing nothing. And if you're already despondant then you can withdraw ever further, giving up the good parts of your life because they're not compatible with pot.
Im not saying that he lied to you.. but maybe just didnt tell you everything. Generally (in my experience anyway) people dont stop seeing people whilst theyre smoking only because they think their friends will down them (though that is a part of course) but also because it's bring too much to the forefront and it's difficult to get anythnig across. Something people dont understand, is how pot makes it much harder to communicate anything to someone that obviously cares about you when your're bent. Constantly worrying what they might think about what your saying. Very frustrating.
So, its just simpler to chill with other smokers or no one at all when smoking.
Another thing to remember about pot... it's not like drinking. You drink and get drunk and you might feel iffy the next day but your alright. A heavy smoker wont truely feel straight again for at least 36 hours or so.. not that they'll wait that long usually. They wont be bent out of shape, but they wont be straight.
sorrry, alot of info with very little help.
One thing I'd recommend you find out from him.
Does pot let him shut down and forget?.. does it actually make him happy for more than the first few moments of being high? Or is it completely momentary and does his brain still bring everything up, and, is being highs only comfortable because it's familiar?
Is he reflective? at least privately that you know of? He can still repress and be reflective.
And finally, is he comfortable with you. do you have the ability to ask him hard questions with him shutting down?
Because, realistically speaking, unless he's willing to see you... or your a friend enough to him that you can drop in on him without it driving a wedge between you. Short of praying he finds his way out, there's not alot
you can do.
But if he's receptive to your friendship, and you can be around him while he's in this valley without making him "uncomfortable" (check that with his body language and how he responds to his situation..,not any words of reassurance for your sake), then you have a chance to just chat with him and be an example of how God does make a difference. It may still take a bit of time but if you can be there, actually with him, then itll help.
For me, the pot was just a crutch. My problems were so old, and i'd carried them for so long without complaint, that it just didnt seem any taking it to God. I was strong and capable in dealing with my own problems. In the end it took me to crash and burn.
Luckily for me.. I had a friend that helped pick me up. helped to give me prospective again and an example.
Talking of the things i mentioned above isnt for your benefit but for his. To remind him of everything and allow him to reflect with a friend as opposed to just his own internals.
Make sure everything you do is in love for your friend.
You wont be telling him anything new by the sounds of it. Just reminding him of the things he already knows.
In the end, as always, itll come down to him, giving the things he needs to, over to and God.
Good luck sister and much love.
But this has become a pattern. He did hit rock bottom last year, and said he'd never touch it again. within three months he was back on it. I really appreciate the advice. Yesterday was the fisrt time i'd seen this site, it seems really cool!