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What is the first thing that come up in your mind when you hear the word 'smart love'? I believe that it's not a matter of the whom you love but it involves series of gradual steps which involving the why, what, when, who, and how you love him/her.
#1 Why do we love?
I think it is necessary to put the purpose and reason why we love in the first place before we even meet the potential partner. Many people do not have a sound understanding of what love should be. We can find some say that, "I love him because he is kind and attentive to me" "I love her because she can understand me" and so on. Yet the truth is the why do we love is rarely connected with what the person do or who is the person. The why always begin with our own motivation and purpose. Try to ask this, "Why do I love my unknown future partner? What drives me to love him/her with all my heart" So, the reason of love does not born after we meet the right person. It is wiser to determine it before we meet our potential partner.
[Man] To love you as Christ loves the church endlessly and unconditionally is a privilege for me. Being placed by God as your leader is such an honor. I know that I am given stronger muscles in order to protect you and to serve you. I love you not because of my needs nor insecurity of being alone in this life. I love you not to use you. I love you in order to give you my heart, my soul, my all to be one with you. I know that it will not be an easy journey, but
I also always know that it will be worth it. For I, myself, has been loved by Christ deeply although I am not worthy at all. And by the power of His grace, so will I love you in every condition, through good and bad, joy and sorrow, health and sick. Loving you is one way of me worshiping my living God
[Woman] I haven't met you yet, but I am determined to love you as God intend it to be. I will love you as the church loves Christ as Christ has loved the church first. I love you because of Christ is in work at you. I love you so that I will always seek the goodness behind things that I may dislike. I offer you my loyalty, my heart, my devotion, my compassion, and my time. I know that you will be the one who will treasure it, I place myself as your supporter, encourager, and a place where you will be at rest. I am offering you a home of peace and not the one which is full of quarrels. I love you no matter what, til the end of time.
If we read these 'romantic promise' we find few things is common here. That love is a matter of giving and placing other as priority over our life, So the purpose of love is to give. And we do not need to meet our future spouse to practice that. We can begin to give now. It is a great preparation if we have directed our energy to shape ourselves to be a generous giver before we meet him/her. It will do a lot of favor in our future relationship. Yes.. the why's in love is not about the other person's qualities. It is more about
our pure motives which is being prepared now for the future to come And how much should we give? As Christ loves the church who gives everything, we need to learn to give our complete self to be selfless I think that it's a huge task and responsibility. But a love will be as strong as its foundations. And our pure motives will do a great deal in building it.
#2 When to love
Being in a relationship when we are still teenagers will be unwise choice. We are still depending on our parents and for sure it is still a long way to go into marriage at that time. Yes, there are some couple who began relationship since junior high and they can make it up to the wedding. But these couples are rare! Do not risk your heart at something that may be not worth it in the end. Why hurt your heart with unnecessary hurt?
Love appropriately in its time God's perfect time. When your maturity and your partner's maturity have been developed. It will be beautiful relationship you can ever imagine.
#3 Who to love
Finally, we reach this point. Well don't be too excited I put this on the fourth stage for its increasing difficulty The who is related closely to the what to look for in love. The what will guide the who So I bet you already catch the idea from point number two There is no perfect person, no right person. But I believe there is God's best in mind for you. He is exactly what you need to grow into Christ likeness as God intends it to be. Yet some additional guidance that I'd like to offer here is find the one who has developed patience in his heart For love is patient. A man or woman of bad temper will bring hell in your life. Oops.. hell may be too harsh, but I want to use it to describe how bad it is. Patience, endurance, commitment, stability, faithfulness, and joyfulness will
be great traits to have in your partner God has the best in store for you, do not settle for the less.
#4 How to love
Unconditionally. Endlessly. Without demanding anything in return. As sincere as a dove. Unselfishly. The fourth stages before are meant to prepare you for the beginning of your love relationship. But this fifth stage are meant to maintain it and bring up your relationship to the fullest joy We don't want to merely survive on a relationship, but we do want to enjoy it Surely it takes a hard work and well determined heart. So focus in glorifying God with all your might. Flee from temptations that will compromise your purity. Honor your partner. Treat him/her like prince or princess of King of all Kings. Die to your self in order for your love to reign. Where ego dies, love grows. Leave out a quarrel that does not worth it in comparison with your love relationship.I believe its a long journey that will bear sweet fruit if we just never give up. Strive forward for a lifetime love commitment. Glorify God with the way we love and praise Him always in any circumstances
