How to stop worrying about stuff that don't matter?

[OwzK]

How? Stuff that shouldn't matter bother me... stuck in my head and no matter what it is. I can't stop worrying about something. I used to have anxiety, I just don't know how to stop worrying about stuff that don't matter. I would be much more relaxed and could be much more productive. But I don't know how...

Has anyone been through something like this? and can anyone offer advice?

 

[Hungry]

It's like someone saying how can I be healthier? It's kind of abstract. From my experience it's a confidence issue. People who have confidence don't care as much because they don't question that they have the skills to deal with problems as they come or that the decisions they made were the best and will work. As well, people who determine their value based on output can be more concerned with their productivity, since it all ties into self worth. If you do good, people will like you more, if you screw up, then you will lose everything. Tying our value to accomplishments is backwards thinking. Let's take a sports car, it has a determined value, it is not based on accomplishment. Whether it is purchased by someone living in Florida or someone living in the arctic, it still has the same price. Driving along the coast or parked in an igloo, value doesn't change. We determine our value. By being honest with your rating you can live life in a range of that value in confidence. Another example, if I said I want to make a million dollars a year, but only felt that I was worth fifty thousand, if I got a job for a million then I would be constantly trying to validate myself and others and trying more and more. Lack of confidence increases worry.

 

[Ugly]

When you repeat a behavior it begins cutting, physically, into your brain. It creates something similar to a riverbed. And the more you repeat that behavior the more deeply it burns into your brain. This is why changing habits is so difficult. But these rivers paths Cable be changed, but slowly.
One thing that can help is to replace your worried thoughts with something better. Scriptures about worry would be perfect for this and probably work doubly well. Doing a Google search for scriptures about worrying will help. Then, in the beginning, have them written down somewhere you can access them. On your phone perhaps.
Another good thing is posting scripture or helpful phrases around your house/car. This way they are always there to see. This will help with memorization as well as being frequent reminders. I suggest moving them around once a week, in the beginning, to prevent you from becoming blind to them as a normal fixture.

Finding someone to talk to to vent your concerns instead of holding them in is also a good. And if this person can give you a more balanced perspective in your worries even better.
As a worrier myself usually we just focus too much in the worst case scenario and ignore the others. Having this awareness will help. Reminding yours that there are other, equally feasible, better, endings.

You formed a habit of worry over time. You dug those channels in your brain over time. So it will take time to change the habits and path. Be patient. Do the work. It's harder to change old patterns than form new ines, but it Can be done.

Hope that helps some.

 

[Sully]

How? Stuff that shouldn't matter bother me... stuck in my head and no matter what it is. I can't stop worrying about something. I used to have anxiety, I just don't know how to stop worrying about stuff that don't matter. I would be much more relaxed and could be much more productive. But I don't know how...

Has anyone been through something like this? and can anyone offer advice?

Have you ever taken a look at supplementing with L-Theanine?

 

[OwzK]

It's like someone saying how can I be healthier? It's kind of abstract. From my experience it's a confidence issue. People who have confidence don't care as much because they don't question that they have the skills to deal with problems as they come or that the decisions they made were the best and will work. As well, people who determine their value based on output can be more concerned with their productivity, since it all ties into self worth. If you do good, people will like you more, if you screw up, then you will lose everything. Tying our value to accomplishments is backwards thinking. Let's take a sports car, it has a determined value, it is not based on accomplishment. Whether it is purchased by someone living in Florida or someone living in the arctic, it still has the same price. Driving along the coast or parked in an igloo, value doesn't change. We determine our value. By being honest with your rating you can live life in a range of that value in confidence. Another example, if I said I want to make a million dollars a year, but only felt that I was worth fifty thousand, if I got a job for a million then I would be constantly trying to validate myself and others and trying more and more. Lack of confidence increases worry.

I think you could be right with confidence... when you talked about value, you're right. But I have ALWAYS valued myself very low, even though I get top grades in college.

But to get more confident I need to be honest about my value? I just personally don't think it's right to judge my own value as good. Like if I was someone else, yes. Like I get top grades, I behave, I'm nice to people and treat everyone with respect. But to say I have good value... I don't want to be c0cky, like I have major problems. Its like if I say anything good about myself it's "wrong" because I've always been taught my whole life that I'm just as equal as anyone else... just as bad as anyone else... not true but it's in my head.

 

[OwzK]

When you repeat a behavior it begins cutting, physically, into your brain. It creates something similar to a riverbed. And the more you repeat that behavior the more deeply it burns into your brain. This is why changing habits is so difficult. But these rivers paths Cable be changed, but slowly.
One thing that can help is to replace your worried thoughts with something better. Scriptures about worry would be perfect for this and probably work doubly well. Doing a Google search for scriptures about worrying will help. Then, in the beginning, have them written down somewhere you can access them. On your phone perhaps.
Another good thing is posting scripture or helpful phrases around your house/car. This way they are always there to see. This will help with memorization as well as being frequent reminders. I suggest moving them around once a week, in the beginning, to prevent you from becoming blind to them as a normal fixture.

Finding someone to talk to to vent your concerns instead of holding them in is also a good. And if this person can give you a more balanced perspective in your worries even better.
As a worrier myself usually we just focus too much in the worst case scenario and ignore the others. Having this awareness will help. Reminding yours that there are other, equally feasible, better, endings.

You formed a habit of worry over time. You dug those channels in your brain over time. So it will take time to change the habits and path. Be patient. Do the work. It's harder to change old patterns than form new ines, but it Can be done.

Hope that helps some.

I could take screenshots of some on my phone, or put them in my notepad on my phone to look at when I start worrying about stuff. That is a really good idea, thank you

Moving them around to prevent them becoming a normal fixture? the notes of the scripture?

In person I don't have anyone I can talk to, online I have friends, Really great friends but a few. But i don't have anyone in person... I do have a friend in person who did tell me before to tell him and to talk to him whenever I need to talk or am bad.. but I just don't want to bother him really or be a burden. Or be needy.

Thank you for this reply, it really helped a lot.

 

[OwzK]

Have you ever taken a look at supplementing with L-Theanine?

No. What is it? and what does it do?

 

[Sully]

No. What is it? and what does it do?

It's an amino acid that produces base protein. It's found in green tea, but if you have a depletion you can experience a baseline of anxiety that is like always present. I started taking it a month ago and am amazed. Everything I've read shows it's perfectly safe, if you take 100 mg you'll know if it helps within like 30 minutes.

 

[maxwel]

How? Stuff that shouldn't matter bother me... stuck in my head and no matter what it is. I can't stop worrying about something. I used to have anxiety, I just don't know how to stop worrying about stuff that don't matter. I would be much more relaxed and could be much more productive. But I don't know how...

Has anyone been through something like this? and can anyone offer advice?

OwzK,

Your profile doesn't say whether or not you're Christian.

If you're on a Christian forum, and you're asking for advice about controlling anxiety...
the first bit of information we need before offering advice is to know whether or not you're a Christian.

 

[OwzK]

Of course I'm Christian or I wouldn't be on this site, I just checked my profile and it does say I'm Christian. Troll

 

[maxwel]

Of course I'm Christian or I wouldn't be on this site, I just checked my profile and it does say I'm Christian. Troll

1. Your profile does NOT say whether or not you're a Christian.


2. I was not being derogatory; we have many well-meaning people coming here for advice who are not Christians.


3. It's very odd that I'd ask you a simple, perfectly reasonable question, and you'd respond with defensiveness, accusations against me, and name calling.

THAT is very odd.

But I'll let it go for the sake of peace, love, harmony, and much Kumbaya.

 

[Ugly]

I could take screenshots of some on my phone, or put them in my notepad on my phone to look at when I start worrying about stuff. That is a really good idea, thank you

Moving them around to prevent them becoming a normal fixture? the notes of the scripture?

In person I don't have anyone I can talk to, online I have friends, Really great friends but a few. But i don't have anyone in person... I do have a friend in person who did tell me before to tell him and to talk to him whenever I need to talk or am bad.. but I just don't want to bother him really or be a burden. Or be needy.

Thank you for this reply, it really helped a lot.

Yes the notes. If they are always in the same place they become easier to miss. Because they're always there and your mind gets accustomed to them and doesn't focus on them.

And it doesn't need to be in person. I haven't had an in person friend in 8 years. But I still have people to talk to.

 

[Hungry]

I think you could be right with confidence... when you talked about value, you're right. But I have ALWAYS valued myself very low, even though I get top grades in college.

But to get more confident I need to be honest about my value? I just personally don't think it's right to judge my own value as good. Like if I was someone else, yes. Like I get top grades, I behave, I'm nice to people and treat everyone with respect. But to say I have good value... I don't want to be c0cky, like I have major problems. Its like if I say anything good about myself it's "wrong" because I've always been taught my whole life that I'm just as equal as anyone else... just as bad as anyone else... not true but it's in my head.

It's a perspective issue. You might think because I have good grades I am smart. My perspective is saying that you should first determine you are smart and that is why you get good grades. Rather than thinking I have the perfect girlfriend I must be attractive. The premise should be I am attractive and that's why the perfect girl will be lucky to have me.

It all has to do with programming done at an early age. We learn how to think and what to think. We can also relearn what to think. Even the Bible says we have to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Based on new info our brain readjusts thought patterns. When we believed Santa was real, proof was everywhere that it was true. When we found out he was just a story, we are surprised we were so gullible. When we choose to believe it, proof is everywhere.

Some people believe that they are good because of what you do. This makes you unconfident because you are always trying to prove you are good by your deeds. Someone who thinks they are good already, automatically makes decisions based on that premise. I workout because I'm an athlete, not I workout so I can be an athlete.

This is also how to live a God honouring life. You don't try to be a good Christian. You determine you are a Christian and that's what makes you do good deeds. It's not being cocky, it's establishing your identity. Once someone identifies that they are a blue collar worker, they will never be a millionaire. Once someone identifies they are a millionaire, they may go bankrupt three or four times until they catch that lightning in a bottle which establishes them.

You Sir need to create your identity. Then repeat it over and over. Start forcing yourself to see the truth that is all around you backing up this reality. Before long you won't even have to look for it, people will tell you and reaffirm it. So Mr. OwzK, who do you choose to be? Write it down. Be as descriptive as possible.

 

[Adstar]

1. Your profile does NOT say whether or not you're a Christian.


2. I was not being derogatory; we have many well-meaning people coming here for advice who are not Christians.


3. It's very odd that I'd ask you a simple, perfectly reasonable question, and you'd respond with defensiveness, accusations against me, and name calling.

THAT is very odd.

But I'll let it go for the sake of peace, love, harmony, and much Kumbaya.

I just looked at Owzk's Profile under the [about me] section in the basic information list under ""spiritual status"" It says Christian ...