I understand your feelings. You know, my pastor said something very wise and it's stuck with me over the years. He said you are not your thoughts. He fully acknowledged the human mind has a range of thoughts. And every last one of us have thoughts we would not want to share. But you are not your thoughts.
Secondly, the enemy seeks to divide and conquer. The local church is the way we build a genuine spiritual relationship with Christ. This is where we are fed on a weekly basis, meet believers and share our faith, pray and study the word. I don't think it is wise to separate yourself from the church and then rely on the world for strength.
Ephesians 6 10 – 12 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes...
There are different means, plans and schemes which the enemy uses to deceive, entrap, enslave, and ruin the souls of men. The enemy does not carry on an open warfare. He does not meet the Christian soldier face to face. He advances covertly; makes his approaches in darkness; employs cunning rather than power, and seeks rather to delude and betray. This is why we must constantly be armed to meet him whenever the attack is made.
Stay in the church. Reach out to a Christian leader and talk it out. Get back in the word every morning. And up your prayers from one or two a day to four or five. Listen to positive Christian music and Praise Him. And reinforce that positive thoughts have power over you and negative ones have no power.
With Love,
-Kingslee
