I can't take it anymore

[DorothyG]

I want to die.

I stumbled across this site while looking for something... anything to help me out of this... I don't even know what to call it. Depression? I have had frequent thoughts of wanting to die for as long as I can remember. So bad! I keep thinking back to the book of Ecclesiastes: "Everything is meaningless..."
I've been struggling... I can't remember the last time I felt okay..... is it childish to feel okay? Have I "put away a childish thing" (1 Corinthians 13:11) by not being happy? I just want to be in heaven already. I don't want to be a part of this trashy, fallen world anymore (which I am well aware that I am a part of and contribute to).

WHERE IS GOD!?!

HOW DO I HEAR HIM!?!

HOW CAN I CONSCIOUSLY CONNECT WITH HIM!!?!

HOW CAN I STOP FEELING LIKE TRASH!?!
​

 

[mystdancer50]

The Bible says you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that the Lord has plans for you, plans for a future and a hope. The Bible says that the Lord is in your midst, that He is mighty to save and mighty to deliver. His Word says that God rejoices over you with singing. Jesus says that you have great value. Nothing can ever separate you from His love and no one can pluck you from His hand.

In order to stop feeling like trash, you need to stop listening to the lies of this world and seek God's truth. Ecclesiastes was written after Solomon had turned to the idols of his wives and the true message is that if God doesn't exist, then do whatever you want because if that is the case, life has no point, but Solomon concludes that God does exist and therefore we must choose and obey Him.

 

[rainin]

The things of this world are meaningless. That is why we must keep our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits focused on Christ and what we will be in the next life. We aren't promised happiness in this life but the next. This life is so short and the sufferings that go along with it are only to be endured for that short time. Eternity is something I don't think most of us could even explain but it cant be compared to the life we are given here on earth. When I was 19, I felt like this earthly life would be an eternity. Now that I am older I realize just how short it is. What you feel today...at this point in your journey....is just a small part of all the feelings you will have as you go through this life. None of us are promised a chance at tomorrow....that is why we must use each day to do the will of God and not our own. Over the years I have found that if I focus my thoughts on the needs and feelings of others I focused less on my own. No matter how we suffer it seems that there is always someone else that is suffering more. I would like to be in Heaven right now too but we have to be patient. The Lord has many things for us to do and many things to teach us. Sometimes we learn more from our sufferings than we could ever learn in our times of joy. Be strong and hold on to the promises that we are given. This world is truly a trashy place as you say. We are in this world but not of it as the Bible tells us. We are here to be a light to a fallen world. Try to set your mind to being that light no matter how dark things get. The sufferings and trials of this life are nothing compared to the joy we will have when we are with Jesus for eternity. You can get the strength you need to endure to the end from Him if you only ask. We are weak but he is strong. Life is a gift from God. Try not to focus so much on your own weakness but on His strength. None of us are able to endure with out it. The Lord will never give you a task with out giving you the strength to accomplish it. Trust in the Lord and never give up. You will be in Heaven when the time comes for you to go. Change your mind and it will change your life....seek ye first the Kingdom and everything else will be added unto you. Maybe you are going through this time of torment so that you can be a blessing to someone else in your future. It would be a terrible thing if you quit just as you were about to win this race called life. Never give up.

 

[Yahshua]

I want to die.

I stumbled across this site while looking for something... anything to help me out of this... I don't even know what to call it. Depression? I have had frequent thoughts of wanting to die for as long as I can remember. So bad! I keep thinking back to the book of Ecclesiastes: "Everything is meaningless..."​

That's at the beginning of the book. Solomon was pretty much saying the same thing...but I encourage you to read what it says at the end.

I've been struggling... I can't remember the last time I felt okay..... is it childish to feel okay? Have I "put away a childish thing" (1 Corinthians 13:11) by not being happy? I just want to be in heaven already. I don't want to be a part of this trashy, fallen world anymore (which I am well aware that I am a part of and contribute to).​

By this you know you are Christ's...

"Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life." (John 12:25)

WHERE IS GOD!?!
​

Did you you Elisha cried out the same way before slamming his master's cloak into the water of the Jordan river? Suddenly the waters parted for him just like they did for Elijah. Elisha didn't realize God was with him all along (2 kings 2).

HOW DO I HEAR HIM!?!​

1 Kings 19:11-13

11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:

12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?​

HOW CAN I CONSCIOUSLY CONNECT WITH HIM!!?!​

John 6:36

It is the spirit that gives life; the flesh counts for nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.​

Read, or better yet, listen to his words. BibleGateway has a great audio where you can just listen to the books being read to you. Hearing is sometimes better than reading because you can sit back and visualize the scene. Don't ignore reading though...reading allows you to memorize passages (something about the way the mind works). Get to know God by listening to how he interacts with mankind and write down passages that seem confusing (to look up or ask us about in later study). The more you hear his words the more his spirit enters into you, and the further your spirit connects with his.

It also REALLY is a cool way you can escape from the world for a while. Imagine you're in a time machine to spy on those events.

HOW CAN I STOP FEELING LIKE TRASH!?!​

1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession (special treasure), that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.​

You must read to know who you are, otherwise you will be treated like trash, God says "my people are destroyed because of a lack of knowledge" (Hosea 4:6). Until you know who you are you won't have the power to conquer the beasts of this world (who definitely know who they are and what they're supposed to do).


Isaiah 56:9

All ye beasts of the field, come to devour, yea, all ye beasts in the forest.​

Don't let the beasts chew you up and spit you out, seize your authority over them (genesis 1:28).

 

[maxwel]

Dorothy,

Getting counseling from a good experienced pastor would probably help you a lot.

You don't just wake up one day and feel the things you feel.
There are things that cause those feelings, and we sometimes need some real help, and support, and long-term biblical counseling to work through them, and get through the healing process.

Healing up from deep hurts is a process. It takes time.
I recommend some pastoral counseling over an extended period. If your body is severely hurt, you would expect the healing to take some times... well, it also takes some time when your heart is severely hurt.

Try to find a good church, and talk to the pastor about counseling.
Some churches have teams of trained and experienced people just for things like this.

 

[chatter23]

I want to die.

I stumbled across this site while looking for something... anything to help me out of this... I don't even know what to call it. Depression? I have had frequent thoughts of wanting to die for as long as I can remember. So bad! I keep thinking back to the book of Ecclesiastes: "Everything is meaningless..."
I've been struggling... I can't remember the last time I felt okay..... is it childish to feel okay? Have I "put away a childish thing" (1 Corinthians 13:11) by not being happy? I just want to be in heaven already. I don't want to be a part of this trashy, fallen world anymore (which I am well aware that I am a part of and contribute to).

WHERE IS GOD!?!

HOW DO I HEAR HIM!?!

HOW CAN I CONSCIOUSLY CONNECT WITH HIM!!?!

HOW CAN I STOP FEELING LIKE TRASH!?!
​

It is not you who wants to die, but, something in you, don't listen to it'
It is the case of your resentment. If you resent anyone or anything you will be feeding it.


Don't resent when you are down, love Truth with all your heart and it will flee from you.

Don't judge yourself or anyone else, it will take a load off of you.
Just a place to start.

 

[Searching4Truth]

You're not trash.

 

[spacefreak]

you are not trash, GOD only makes something that he demes worthful so keep your head up, that bad thoughts are from the devil and he seeks out to lie, steal and destroy everything including you and every person on earth. don't listen to the bad thoughts life is worth living even with the bad times, I know it's hard but keep your head up. GOD has a plan for you, it's not always obvious to what the plan is. trust in GOD and his plan.

 

[wanderer6059]

 

[DorothyG]

Thank you everyone for your wonderful replies.

I am currently in counseling with a Christian psychologist, he gave me a GREAT book to read:

Christianbook.com: The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: David Johnson, Jeff VanVonderen: 9780764201370

 

[T_Laurich]

You might have depression. Pinpoint when you started feeling this, why you feel this way (give yourself the awareness that you need). Figure out where this emotion is coming from. Do you have low self esteem? Do you feel unimportant? Was there a time where you started to feel this? Are you doing anything that's contributing to this feeling of not feeling good about yourself?
How to fight Depression:
1. Pray, pray for God's help in Christ's name and ask for his mercy and grace to help you do more than you can do. Read your scriptures for spiritual daily strength.
2. eat healthily, stay away from caffeine, drugs, and harmful substances to your body.
3. Sunlight! You must have at least the minimum of 15 minutes a day or it can lower your mood
4. Exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Hard exercise, or aerobics to get your blood pumping
5. Gratitude journal. Write in this journal every day about things you're grateful for. You can say them out loud if you prefer.
6. Positive Affirmations. Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself at least 10 times about something you like about yourself or a skill that you have. "I'm a great person" "I care about people" etc
7. Dig deep to the core reason you're having and sort through it, talk to a therapist etc.




Okay don't take that scripture as if he were saying, "nothing really matters." It's more of a perspective in "material things of this life don't matter, so concentrate on God." type of thing.
here is a cool blog post that explains that whole verse Custardy: Ecclesiastes and the Meaning of Life




God loves you. Being happy and content and "okay" with life and yourself is not childish. Beating yourself up only makes God sad.
https://www.lds.org/youth/video/god-knows-you?lang=eng
God knows you personally.
You can hear God through the still small voice of the holy spirit. When you feel it, you can't mistake it for anything else but the Spirit.
You connect with God by doing things that he would do, and by personal prayer to him. Pray about your struggles
for example, "heavenly father, (please I'm hurting and struggling right now and I need your help..(explain whatever it is)....In the name of Jesus Christ Amen."
you don't have to copy the things in the parentheses, but if you personally believe God knows you then he will know what you're going through.
He can help.
​

I understand your heart is in the right place... But to get her to convert to Mormonism will never help her... She will trade off one burden of not being loved for another of always trying to repay the debt she now owe's Christ (according to mormonism)... Through temple works like Baptism for the dead, and sealing your family, to going on a mission...

While Christianity says, nothing you can ever do will ever repay what Christ our Lord and Savior has done for us... All our good deeds are like filthy rags, and no amount of them will ever change if we are saved or not... For it is by Grace alone... (Grace meaning undeserved forgiveness by God)...

And Mormonism says, you are saved by God's grace after all you can do...

I am sorry but giving a person in need a religion that is impossible to keep; and will only put more weight on their shoulders is not the best thing to do... And I am not even getting into how its a false gospel... Just how you think you are saved alone will brake her back...

2Nephi 25:23 For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do​

 

[jimmydiggs]

okay lemme clear this up so there isn't any confusion. I agree with you in we cannot be saved by our works alone. We cannot, it's by the grace of God that we can be clean and return to Him.
No matter how much service and good stuff you do, if you've sinned you cannot erase that sin yourself.
"We can’t purify ourselves from sin, so the Lord’s forgiveness is another example of grace. But before He will forgive us, we must repent—that’s our part, our works. Besides repentance, our works also include receiving ordinances, keeping covenants, and serving others. While these works are necessary for salvation, they aren’t sufficient. They are not enough because we can’t live perfect lives, but we can do our best to live righteously. By doing so, we invite the Lord’s grace into our lives and qualify for the gift of salvation."

But there must be works and grace. And grace to be able to do the works.

Tough Topics: Are You Saved by Grace or Works? - New Era Mar. 2005 - new-era

Our church does not believe in being saved by works alone, that would be denying the atonement and the atonement is one of the fundamentals of the Gospel of Christ that is taught in our church.

Mormonism teaches a salvation of works. It also teaches there are three Gods, which is against the bible. That's okay for you though, because Mormonism only believes the bible when it is convenient.

By the way, when you get married and eventually become a god, what will you name your planet?

 

[T_Laurich]

Mormonism teaches a salvation of works. It also teaches there are three Gods, which is against the bible. That's okay for you though, because Mormonism only believes the bible when it is convenient.

By the way, when you get married and eventually become a god, what will you name your planet?

There are more than three god's... In fact mormonism is the biggest polytheistic religion in the world...

 

[T_Laurich]

okay lemme clear this up so there isn't any confusion. I agree with you in we cannot be saved by our works alone. We cannot, it's by the grace of God that we can be clean and return to Him.
No matter how much service and good stuff you do, if you've sinned you cannot erase that sin yourself.

According to 2Nephi 25:23 what you just said goes against the Book of Mormon... It states : "for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do".

After all you can do implies you are actually saving yourself...

In Christianity its by God given faith alone that we are saved... Nothing is from us....

But in mormonism its after all you can do 2Nephi 25:23... Which means I am saved after I am the best person I can possibly be... Which is 1 impossible to do... And 2 you can keep almost a check list if your getting into the celestial kingdom or not... Like I repented CHECK, I said hello to a stranger CHECK, I tithed CHECK... And so on....

But in Christianity, its in the faith that Jesus Christ is my savior...

(I also think I should clarify the word faith, because in the LDS religion you guys use faith to mean blind faith... But my faith is evidence based and not from a burning in the busom)

"We can’t purify ourselves from sin, so the Lord’s forgiveness is another example of grace. But before He will forgive us, we must repent—that’s our part, our works. Besides repentance, our works also include receiving ordinances, keeping covenants, and serving others.

I think your religion is trying to weasel yourself into the Christian faith... The way you said it almost sounds all fine and dandy but, there are some problems that stray strongly away from Christianity...

Romans 3:28-30
28 For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law. 29 Or is God the God of Jews only? Is he not the God of Gentiles too? Yes, of Gentiles too, 30 since there is only one God, who will justify the circumcised by faith and the uncircumcised through that same faith.

According to that scripture ( which there are many more like such) You are not correct in what you are saying...

You also said your works include keeping covenants, I know you will now point to love God and your brother, and say every thing you follow goes off those lines... But in all actuality many of your D&C things do not follow those, like 132 goes against old and new testament alike...

While these works are necessary for salvation, they aren’t sufficient. They are not enough because we can’t live perfect lives, but we can do our best to live righteously. By doing so, we invite the Lord’s grace into our lives and qualify for the gift of salvation."

Again it sounds like Christianity on the fore front... But a famous LDS "prophet" once gave the parable that grace is more like you have a debt, and can not pay it all off, so a friend comes and pays off your debt but now in do time you can pay off your friend... That is how a "prophet" described grace.... See you forget to mention how much time in the eternity you plan on making yourself perfect, to repay you debt, and to use the 1000 years of Christ's reign as baptism for the dead... Not only that, then you have to learn how to become perfect... Then go before the god's and see if you are deemed worthy to become a deity... Then you will follow the famous LDS words... As god once was man now is, as god now is man may become... I am sorry but that is blaspheme...

But there must be works and grace. And grace to be able to do the works.

Tough Topics: Are You Saved by Grace or Works? - New Era Mar. 2005 - new-era

Our church does not believe in being saved by works alone, that would be denying the atonement and the atonement is one of the fundamentals of the Gospel of Christ that is taught in our church.

So explain to me the Gospel of Christ and the atonement... I am currently going through this with your missionary's and they are having a hard time... So maybe you could clarify...

 

[T_Laurich]

I know what I said carries a heavy tone... But to be honest, I am trying to do this out of love... Its hard to get over to LDS that we tell them they are not Christians out of love... And they follow a false Gospel out of love...

I don't know how long you have been mormon but I was mormon for a good 11-12 years... My best friend is mormon... I talk with the missionaries every week... I try to go to their church often, (last time I went was 2 weeks ago)... In fact I gave my testimony on Christ that day...

You have to realize, Christianity has some key things that takes to be a Christian... And you have a been taught that every denomination declares it's self as the only way to heaven... No!... We just can't agree on the socks Jesus wore that day... E.g. Predetermination... Post revelations or pre... We all agree on the key core concepts... And I am sorry, but LDS does not...