J
The past two months of my life have been horrible and my marriage is at the root of it. It started when my Wife started seeming a little distant. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing was wrong she was just feeling a little down. I asked her if she was happy with me and she said she was and she was very much in love with me but just feeling a little down. Flash forward a week and she has a few problems but is still in love with me and says she feels like she is having an early midlife crisis. Flash forward another week and she is in love with me but it is not at strong as it used to be. Two days later she is not in love with me anymore. 3 days after that she wants a divorce and says she has felt this way for a long time.
A few days pass from that and she goes to her friends house and ends up calling me an hour later saying I am taking her to dinner. She pulls up and I get in our truck and she starts crying and saying she does still love me and she wants to give this another chance and finally starts talking. She did not want to say anything to the kids, did not want to put her wedding ring back on and did not want to resume a sexual life. That night, the third stipulation was out the window (I was willing to stop but she was not). Afterwards she got quiet, said she did not feel a spark between us like she should have and needed to decide if love was enough. Since that time she just got very cruel towards me. I uncovered a brutal truth of something that happened a few years ago and she was cruel about that as well. She also admitted there was a guy she met on her online game (she has a gaming addiction) who she likes but she has not said anything to him about it even though I know they have webcammed and instant messaged each other quite a bit. About 5 days ago she just lashed out and said she had tried but she is at the point of no return and she does not love me, it is over and there is no chance it comes back.
I finally sat her down and told her that she was right about everything, I still loved her but I had to accept she did not feel the same and I was done chasing her. I would be her friend and there would be no more trying to touch her or talk to her or anything like that. The next day I felt like a burden was lifted off of my shoulders. I told God that I could no longer handle this and I totally submitted this to him and his control because everything I had tried had failed. That day was the first day I had smiled, I played with our kids and I had an excellent day with her. Each day has been pretty good with her and since that first day we have had marital relations three times and she has even asked me to lay in bed with her in our bedroom for awhile. She still stays in her bedroom most of the morning and the other night I saw she has reactivated her Facebook account for a bit (she deactivated it because mutual friends were asking her questions) and she got irritated saying I was spying when she is the one who left the door open and left Facebook up. She explained that she just reactivated it for a few minutes so she could see what some friends were up to. Outside of that it has been great.
The day before yesterday I went upstairs with her after helping start dinner and the kids were out playing, I told her how much I have enjoyed just being with her the past few days and I kissed her. I immediately backed off and said "let's go finish dinner" and she grabbed me, kissed me and well.. yeah... Afterwards she got quiet and distant and I asked her if she was ok and she got quiet, said "no, i'm not but talking about it will not do any good". The next day I asked her again and again the answer was the same but we ended up having marital relations again but this time she initiated round 2 of said relations. Today, she was not feeling well again and has been rather distant but she still laid with me for awhile on the couch, asked me to lay in bed with her for a bit, messaged me online after going to bed just to talk (this has happened 3 days in a row) and even cuddled up to me and held my hand for a couple of minutes, not tightly but still held it but mostly today she was a bit more distant. She is still not wearing her ring, still not saying she loves me and still spending more time than I would like in her bedroom. If I mention anything about love or about us in a future sense than she tends to ignore it and change the subject. Mostly, we have laughed together, played with the kids together and she is letting me touch her and even hugging me back and kissing me back at times.
I have spent a lot of time deep in prayer and have even fasted for a day (considering more) asking God for forgiveness of my sins, to stop this separation, stop this divorce, soften her heart to me, renew love between us, unify our family and reconcile our marriage.
I FEEL God here with me, I know any progress is his doing and even my children have suddenly started making their wishes verbally known when before they were silent. I know God has a plan and this is in his hands and I have faith that no matter what, He will do what is right.
I am just hoping that some of my Brothers and Sisters will join me in deep prayer for this marriage. We have three beautiful children together, this year would be our 13th wedding anniversary and we have been together for almost 17 (since she first sat in front of me in our high school spanish class). I believe there is something going on in her life that is contributing to this (I have some theories) and I believe there are people online who are contributing to this. I have prayed for her own wisdom and strength and that she could realize what she is doing to this family and find the strength to be the Wife and Mother she has been in the past.
Just please offer up prayers for us. She is not fighting at all but I am fighting like I have never fought for anything before and I really need as much spiritual help as I can get along with some advice and guidance. Thank you all so much and God bless.
A few days pass from that and she goes to her friends house and ends up calling me an hour later saying I am taking her to dinner. She pulls up and I get in our truck and she starts crying and saying she does still love me and she wants to give this another chance and finally starts talking. She did not want to say anything to the kids, did not want to put her wedding ring back on and did not want to resume a sexual life. That night, the third stipulation was out the window (I was willing to stop but she was not). Afterwards she got quiet, said she did not feel a spark between us like she should have and needed to decide if love was enough. Since that time she just got very cruel towards me. I uncovered a brutal truth of something that happened a few years ago and she was cruel about that as well. She also admitted there was a guy she met on her online game (she has a gaming addiction) who she likes but she has not said anything to him about it even though I know they have webcammed and instant messaged each other quite a bit. About 5 days ago she just lashed out and said she had tried but she is at the point of no return and she does not love me, it is over and there is no chance it comes back.
I finally sat her down and told her that she was right about everything, I still loved her but I had to accept she did not feel the same and I was done chasing her. I would be her friend and there would be no more trying to touch her or talk to her or anything like that. The next day I felt like a burden was lifted off of my shoulders. I told God that I could no longer handle this and I totally submitted this to him and his control because everything I had tried had failed. That day was the first day I had smiled, I played with our kids and I had an excellent day with her. Each day has been pretty good with her and since that first day we have had marital relations three times and she has even asked me to lay in bed with her in our bedroom for awhile. She still stays in her bedroom most of the morning and the other night I saw she has reactivated her Facebook account for a bit (she deactivated it because mutual friends were asking her questions) and she got irritated saying I was spying when she is the one who left the door open and left Facebook up. She explained that she just reactivated it for a few minutes so she could see what some friends were up to. Outside of that it has been great.
The day before yesterday I went upstairs with her after helping start dinner and the kids were out playing, I told her how much I have enjoyed just being with her the past few days and I kissed her. I immediately backed off and said "let's go finish dinner" and she grabbed me, kissed me and well.. yeah... Afterwards she got quiet and distant and I asked her if she was ok and she got quiet, said "no, i'm not but talking about it will not do any good". The next day I asked her again and again the answer was the same but we ended up having marital relations again but this time she initiated round 2 of said relations. Today, she was not feeling well again and has been rather distant but she still laid with me for awhile on the couch, asked me to lay in bed with her for a bit, messaged me online after going to bed just to talk (this has happened 3 days in a row) and even cuddled up to me and held my hand for a couple of minutes, not tightly but still held it but mostly today she was a bit more distant. She is still not wearing her ring, still not saying she loves me and still spending more time than I would like in her bedroom. If I mention anything about love or about us in a future sense than she tends to ignore it and change the subject. Mostly, we have laughed together, played with the kids together and she is letting me touch her and even hugging me back and kissing me back at times.
I have spent a lot of time deep in prayer and have even fasted for a day (considering more) asking God for forgiveness of my sins, to stop this separation, stop this divorce, soften her heart to me, renew love between us, unify our family and reconcile our marriage.
I FEEL God here with me, I know any progress is his doing and even my children have suddenly started making their wishes verbally known when before they were silent. I know God has a plan and this is in his hands and I have faith that no matter what, He will do what is right.
I am just hoping that some of my Brothers and Sisters will join me in deep prayer for this marriage. We have three beautiful children together, this year would be our 13th wedding anniversary and we have been together for almost 17 (since she first sat in front of me in our high school spanish class). I believe there is something going on in her life that is contributing to this (I have some theories) and I believe there are people online who are contributing to this. I have prayed for her own wisdom and strength and that she could realize what she is doing to this family and find the strength to be the Wife and Mother she has been in the past.
Just please offer up prayers for us. She is not fighting at all but I am fighting like I have never fought for anything before and I really need as much spiritual help as I can get along with some advice and guidance. Thank you all so much and God bless.
