I don't think i was ever a christian..

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GabrielVS

Guest
#1
#1
I thought I had something with god.. I thought... I only fooled myself i am stupid wicked and lazy and i know parts of the word of god, how could i? I thought I could read the bible.. and stuff.. but I did everything in vain! I AM DEAD AND LOST I have figured it out.. who am I? A piece of trash I am also worthless, all I have been doing since I DELUDED myself to be saved was to read Gods Word. I DO NOT WANT ANYONES GLORY NOR DO I BELIEVE THAT I AM CHRISTIAN.. My wretched cursed flesh doesn't want that, You see I deceived myself, ultimately i have contempt for myself.. I have also hated myself, I once wanted God to obliterate me right here so that there would be one less useless human being in this worldy place, AND I AM WORDLY! I have no huge aim in life... well if I do, then whatever, I know the end will come.. But I don't want to be pessimistic about it.. I don't know what to do with my life, ever since I thought I "accepted jesus as my lord and savior" I thought I had to continue believing in him... I am fruitless, wicked, and of no worth, The devil wants me to be part of his kingdom and I know that. maybe I believe in VAIN.. it's like walking towards a path and the path has two paths forking, one has a blazing firestorm and the other is like a very slim crevice that is very uneasy to walk to.. thing is my wretched soul feels nuetral about going the wordly way.. sometimes it feels bad.. I really don't want to exist anymore, sure people will call me pathetic but ultimately I am LAZY! I also cry in vain sometimes when no person sees me because I just come back to the point that I am just worthless..
 
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GabrielVS

Guest
#2
#2
but why am i still going on with my life when i dont want to exist?...
 
damombomb

damombomb

Senior Member
#3
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
68
48
#3
GabrielVS said:
but why am i still going on with my life when i dont want to exist?...
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Because God has plans for you, yes it is a spiritual battle between God and the enemy, you have to be stronger than that, the bible says you will serve one and hate the other, stop being so hard on yourself, God does things a little at a time,you may be a mighty man of God one day, but you will have to go through things in life, trials,test, ect, that only make you stronger, if you have problems with issues ask God to help you, he will
 
tribesman

tribesman

Senior Member
#4
Oct 13, 2011
4,612
274
83
#4
GabrielVS said:
I thought I had something with god.. I thought... I only fooled myself i am stupid wicked and lazy and i know parts of the word of god, how could i? I thought I could read the bible.. and stuff.. but I did everything in vain! I AM DEAD AND LOST I have figured it out.. who am I? A piece of trash I am also worthless, all I have been doing since I DELUDED myself to be saved was to read Gods Word. I DO NOT WANT ANYONES GLORY NOR DO I BELIEVE THAT I AM CHRISTIAN.. My wretched cursed flesh doesn't want that, You see I deceived myself, ultimately i have contempt for myself.. I have also hated myself, I once wanted God to obliterate me right here so that there would be one less useless human being in this worldy place, AND I AM WORDLY! I have no huge aim in life... well if I do, then whatever, I know the end will come.. But I don't want to be pessimistic about it.. I don't know what to do with my life, ever since I thought I "accepted jesus as my lord and savior" I thought I had to continue believing in him... I am fruitless, wicked, and of no worth, The devil wants me to be part of his kingdom and I know that. maybe I believe in VAIN.. it's like walking towards a path and the path has two paths forking, one has a blazing firestorm and the other is like a very slim crevice that is very uneasy to walk to.. thing is my wretched soul feels nuetral about going the wordly way.. sometimes it feels bad.. I really don't want to exist anymore, sure people will call me pathetic but ultimately I am LAZY! I also cry in vain sometimes when no person sees me because I just come back to the point that I am just worthless..
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If this is your true insight about your self then I will say it is good much hope for you! The gospel is for you! God bless you.
 
Y

yaright

Guest
#5
#5
GabrielVS said:
but why am i still going on with my life when i dont want to exist?...
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It's possible that you may not understand; Jesus did not come for those who believe their lives are just fine, and have no need of healing. Jesus walks among sinners. If what you say about yourself is true, than you can be certain Jesus desires you for the very reason you need Him.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#6
#6
GabrielVS said:
I thought I had something with god.. I thought... I only fooled myself i am stupid wicked and lazy and i know parts of the word of god, how could i? I thought I could read the bible.. and stuff.. but I did everything in vain! I AM DEAD AND LOST I have figured it out.. who am I? A piece of trash I am also worthless, all I have been doing since I DELUDED myself to be saved was to read Gods Word. I DO NOT WANT ANYONES GLORY NOR DO I BELIEVE THAT I AM CHRISTIAN.. My wretched cursed flesh doesn't want that, You see I deceived myself, ultimately i have contempt for myself.. I have also hated myself, I once wanted God to obliterate me right here so that there would be one less useless human being in this worldy place, AND I AM WORDLY! I have no huge aim in life... well if I do, then whatever, I know the end will come.. But I don't want to be pessimistic about it.. I don't know what to do with my life, ever since I thought I "accepted jesus as my lord and savior" I thought I had to continue believing in him... I am fruitless, wicked, and of no worth, The devil wants me to be part of his kingdom and I know that. maybe I believe in VAIN.. it's like walking towards a path and the path has two paths forking, one has a blazing firestorm and the other is like a very slim crevice that is very uneasy to walk to.. thing is my wretched soul feels nuetral about going the wordly way.. sometimes it feels bad.. I really don't want to exist anymore, sure people will call me pathetic but ultimately I am LAZY! I also cry in vain sometimes when no person sees me because I just come back to the point that I am just worthless..
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Have you considered seeing a therapist about this? Possibly one that is Christian, so they may help you to work through these particular struggles?
 
shemaiah

shemaiah

Senior Member
#7
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
30
48
29
#7
Hey bro, first relax, second all you have done is just list down your imperfects and weaknesses and failures. But, being a Christian is never about your perfections/imperfects, weaknesses/strengths nor failures/success, Jesus calls you to come as you are, yes imperfect and broken thats the way God wants you to come to Him. All you have to do is just go to God and surrender your life to Him, you must never struggle to try and do this right, just ask Him to have His way in you. You can never be perfect alone, and that is why Jesus comes to make you perfect and without you doing anything. Just run to Him, He forgives, mends and makes perfect, all at the price of just asking. God bless
 
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rainacorn

Guest
#8
#8
Being a teenager is hard enough, but once you add Christianity to the picture, it makes it even harder. Your defenses are down. Your hormones are out of control. You're reaching an age where you want to take the lead in your life but not in a position to really do so. It's superbly frustrating, so my heart goes out to you. Satan preys on our weaknesses and teenagers are full of them. :(

Stand strong and keep trying. Keep reading your Bible. Go to a group with other Christians to help you make sense of what you are reading and feeling. That's what youth groups are for.

You will come out the other end of this with much clearer eyes and a calmer heart if you just keep your faith and be patient.
 
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woodl

Guest
#9
#9
GabrielVS said:
I thought I had something with god.. I thought... I only fooled myself i am stupid wicked and lazy and i know parts of the word of god, how could i? I thought I could read the bible.. and stuff.. but I did everything in vain! I AM DEAD AND LOST I have figured it out.. who am I? A piece of trash I am also worthless, all I have been doing since I DELUDED myself to be saved was to read Gods Word. I DO NOT WANT ANYONES GLORY NOR DO I BELIEVE THAT I AM CHRISTIAN.. My wretched cursed flesh doesn't want that, You see I deceived myself, ultimately i have contempt for myself.. I have also hated myself, I once wanted God to obliterate me right here so that there would be one less useless human being in this worldy place, AND I AM WORDLY! I have no huge aim in life... well if I do, then whatever, I know the end will come.. But I don't want to be pessimistic about it.. I don't know what to do with my life, ever since I thought I "accepted jesus as my lord and savior" I thought I had to continue believing in him... I am fruitless, wicked, and of no worth, The devil wants me to be part of his kingdom and I know that. maybe I believe in VAIN.. it's like walking towards a path and the path has two paths forking, one has a blazing firestorm and the other is like a very slim crevice that is very uneasy to walk to.. thing is my wretched soul feels nuetral about going the wordly way.. sometimes it feels bad.. I really don't want to exist anymore, sure people will call me pathetic but ultimately I am LAZY! I also cry in vain sometimes when no person sees me because I just come back to the point that I am just worthless..
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Gabriel, you do exist. You are a master peice made by God himself. He knows your every thought even before you think it. The feelings you are haveing is comming from satan himself. He is a lier and the father of all lies. That's just the way satan wants you to feel. You said you don't want anybody glory, well praise God. He dosen't want you to seek your own glory. He wants you to give him all the glory. You belive in Jesus Christ and that's the main key. You are young and you would like for everything to happen all at once. I remember it well, but Jesus died on the cross for you and me and he would of did it for you even if you were the only one here. You do exist Gabriel and you will exist for ever. Jesus wants to have a personal relationshis with you. Seek him always, even when you don't feel him because he will never leave you nor forsake you. God wants to bless you in your walk in life.
 
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shekaniah

Guest
#10
#10
I pray that you will feel the Love Jesus has for you!!! He loves You!!! Don't let the God of this world us your short comings against you!
God knows that none of us are perfect...why do you thunk he sent his son? He knows we are weak with out him....Just pray and ask God for wisdom and understanding! You will be blessed for it...don't give up...ask every day....three times a day if you have to...he loves it when we acknowledge
Him.


James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

John 16:23-24 23
"And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. "Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.
 
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Avidan

Guest
#11
#11
Heavenly Father, I stand in prayer for this young man with my brothers and sisters here. I stand with him concerning his prayers and questions too. Bring the answers and help and comfort quickly LORD I pray, in Jesus Name, Amen.

Satan, the LORD rebuke you.

In Jesus Name.
 
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