R
Rob053260
Guest
I want to make some major changes in my life. I'm not sure if I know where to start. I recently had been at two funerals, one; a horrible motorcycle accident, the other a tragic suicide.
A little about me: I am stubborn. I am a loner. I feel I don't need friends.
Really??? who is like this? Am i crazy? I need help. (fast forward)
I grew up as most did. Had wonderful parents, loving, caring. But..... I didn't love myself. I always thought there was something wrong with me. I was insecure. So... I would lie... To make me look better. Of course this failed terribly. I lost friends, and trust of my parents. (Fast forward.)
Then I met my beautiful wife to be. Life was perfect. Things were looking up. She was a great person who loved me for me. Had wonderful faith in our God. I love her very much.... (fast forward)
But then it happened again. Now I was drinking. I thought it made me happy. I started ignoring our children. Started picking fights with my wife. Being lazy, and not appreciative of anything. I was looking at pornography. Stealing from work. What is wrong with me? fast forward to now..
I was sitting at home. alone. I used to pray to God. But it had been a long time since he and I really talked. I asked him to come into my heart. I began to cry, and cry, and cry. Then i prayed. Please help me Lord, come into my life and help me find my way back to you.. I love you sooooo much. I prayed for a long time. I let God take me and I felt his love. I asked for forgiveness, something i know that i needed. The words came: forgiveness, and forgive.. That's what I felt from my praying.
I am not a bad person. I am telling my tale as it is. I hope you all can understand. I feel the need to talk, and this feels like the place to do that. I hope some of you can relate. Or maybe just help lead me to what my next steps should be. I AM going to change. I know this.. Thank you for listening. God knows me best. Now you have a little of me as well.
A little about me: I am stubborn. I am a loner. I feel I don't need friends.
Really??? who is like this? Am i crazy? I need help. (fast forward)
I grew up as most did. Had wonderful parents, loving, caring. But..... I didn't love myself. I always thought there was something wrong with me. I was insecure. So... I would lie... To make me look better. Of course this failed terribly. I lost friends, and trust of my parents. (Fast forward.)
Then I met my beautiful wife to be. Life was perfect. Things were looking up. She was a great person who loved me for me. Had wonderful faith in our God. I love her very much.... (fast forward)
But then it happened again. Now I was drinking. I thought it made me happy. I started ignoring our children. Started picking fights with my wife. Being lazy, and not appreciative of anything. I was looking at pornography. Stealing from work. What is wrong with me? fast forward to now..
I was sitting at home. alone. I used to pray to God. But it had been a long time since he and I really talked. I asked him to come into my heart. I began to cry, and cry, and cry. Then i prayed. Please help me Lord, come into my life and help me find my way back to you.. I love you sooooo much. I prayed for a long time. I let God take me and I felt his love. I asked for forgiveness, something i know that i needed. The words came: forgiveness, and forgive.. That's what I felt from my praying.
I am not a bad person. I am telling my tale as it is. I hope you all can understand. I feel the need to talk, and this feels like the place to do that. I hope some of you can relate. Or maybe just help lead me to what my next steps should be. I AM going to change. I know this.. Thank you for listening. God knows me best. Now you have a little of me as well.