I feel an urgency to have God in my life. I have been (how to say) on leave from God

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Rob053260

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I want to make some major changes in my life. I'm not sure if I know where to start. I recently had been at two funerals, one; a horrible motorcycle accident, the other a tragic suicide.

A little about me: I am stubborn. I am a loner. I feel I don't need friends.

Really??? who is like this? Am i crazy? I need help. (fast forward)

I grew up as most did. Had wonderful parents, loving, caring. But..... I didn't love myself. I always thought there was something wrong with me. I was insecure. So... I would lie... To make me look better. Of course this failed terribly. I lost friends, and trust of my parents. (Fast forward.)

Then I met my beautiful wife to be. Life was perfect. Things were looking up. She was a great person who loved me for me. Had wonderful faith in our God. I love her very much.... (fast forward)

But then it happened again. Now I was drinking. I thought it made me happy. I started ignoring our children. Started picking fights with my wife. Being lazy, and not appreciative of anything. I was looking at pornography. Stealing from work. What is wrong with me? fast forward to now..

I was sitting at home. alone. I used to pray to God. But it had been a long time since he and I really talked. I asked him to come into my heart. I began to cry, and cry, and cry. Then i prayed. Please help me Lord, come into my life and help me find my way back to you.. I love you sooooo much. I prayed for a long time. I let God take me and I felt his love. I asked for forgiveness, something i know that i needed. The words came: forgiveness, and forgive.. That's what I felt from my praying.


I am not a bad person. I am telling my tale as it is. I hope you all can understand. I feel the need to talk, and this feels like the place to do that. I hope some of you can relate. Or maybe just help lead me to what my next steps should be. I AM going to change. I know this.. Thank you for listening. God knows me best. Now you have a little of me as well.
 
Next step, feed yourself the word of God. Read the bible,, if you still a little short on understanding anything, the gospel is the perfect place to start. Book of John is a really good start on Jesus' life. Try to spend an amount of devotional time with the Lord on the daily basis, at least 10 minutes or so, how ever long you want. Don't forget to trust and put your faith in God through everything in your life. As you continually put your faith in Him on a daily basis, you will see dramatic change. This is called the sanctification process. Here I'll post what different faiths there is and you can meditate on it.


Doctrinal Faith: Faith based on the word of God and the teachings of the Bible. (Jude 3). This is believing the bible to be true to its very word for word and the promises and everything that are contained in it.


Saving Faith: Faith resulting from having believed and confessed that Jesus died and God raised him from the dead. (Romans 10:9-10). This is trusting Christ alone for your salvation. Believing what He did for you and why. Jesus died for your sins, resurrected for your justification.


Justifying Faith. Belief you have been forgiven and cleansed by God (1 John 1:9). acknowledging you have been made righteous by the blood of Christ by faith.


Indwelling Faith: Practicing the presence of God, experiencing communion with God and believing that He is with you at all times. (Psalm 23:4). Trusting God's Word in and through us. The Holy Spirit that dwells in you cleanses you inside.


Daily Faith: Believing God is meeting your needs on a daily basis even when it is not evident. (Matthew 6:11). This is that day by day faith you put before God, that you give to God, and that is in God in your life, through the good and bad. This is part of your sanctification process.


Genuine faith is your personal attachment to God. Genuine faith is your umbilical cord to God's grace. Genuine faith is your reliance on God and your commitment to God.
 
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Well one thing I can say is welcome to the family. If you do not have a bible the greatest thing you can do is get one, fast. Pray and ask God to lead you to someone who will show you how the Christian life works. There are some good bible churches around too but again ask God where he wants you to go to church. Surround yourself with people that are headed the same way you are and best of all you have started a relationship with the greatest and best friend you could ever have. Congratulations!! Pastor Keith
 
Couldn't agree with you more.


Romans 10:13 "For Whosoever shall calleth upon the name of the Lord, shall be saved."
 
Brother Robo053260 Bryan is so correct! It for me bro has always been about the trust factor! I am so glad for you that you found a true helpmate! You had more guts then I ever did in that area bro!!hehe My privacy is so important to me,I never married lol! A loner does become lonely at times,but not when one spends so much time in the Word!

Some of us were just not made to become married. ( matt 19:10-12) It is not that we do not wish to marry,but certain things have happened in our life,to just not make that possible.It does become about our character bro! The Lord has been greatly with me through the many years of training he himself has given me from his very Word.( 1 john 2:27)To remain strong,when my flesh wishes to feel sorry for itself,to keep God's peace, when others around me are running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

And more importantly his great LOVE!! ( rom 4:8!!!)The very first subject to focus in on is how and why God through nothing we have done or could ever do deserve his great love! Become rooted and grounded in that love bro!( eph 3:16-21)verse 19!! And to know!!! the love of Christ! Why did Jesus do so much? And how is it a great insult to our Lord Jesus to think for even one second he does not love us,or that his love for us could or would ever change!

Many wish to look to faith and miracles to follow,but without the foundation of love,brother there is no faith! ( 1 cor 13:1)(Gal 5:6!!)Faith working through love! Once you know you believe this,the rest becomes so much more acceptable to believe about and through our Jesus! You will then find yourself in this place!( mark 9:23-24) I believe but Lord help thou my unbelief. You know when you get here,that you are spending more time in the Word then ever!That is a very good thing bro!!

For the answers to our life rests upon using God's Word in our life, and never our own!example ( matt 3:17) see the word beloved bro?Now watch a word not used by the devil to Jesus!( matt 4:3) Why do you think the devil did not use the word beloved to Jesus bro?? hehe Lets look for a moment shall we?( 1 john 4:1,7,11) Here and in many other places we are called the very same as Jesus!!But we have to believe this!!

It is not our faith that makes us strong bro,all are given the same amount of faith in the very same measure!( rom 12:3)The difference is our belief in that faith! And knowing Jesus always loves us at all times, and using his words in our life completes us through him,Jesus establishes us! God first did this by establishing his covenant with Abraham!( gen 17:19)

Then after what Jesus did for us, we became established in him! Our heart! ( 1 thess 3:13) his truth!( his word!) 2 peter 1:12) ( Col 3:14-17!)( col 2:6-10!) You notice the Word here bro!! For faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word itself,i read it out loud to myself bro! (Rom 10:17)

We start all of this bro by being and staying willing to renew the part of ourselves that has become so corrupted, our mind! ( rom 12:1-2) I do not wish to make this to long for you bro,but I am sure you get the point! And here is the point from knowing God love us!! When everyone is crying around you,when others say you are dead,Jesus says this!! ( mark 5:35-36!!!) ONLY BELIEVE!! Love MUST!!! be our foundation!! Any other will crumble! be encouraged brother,become established through God's own word of love everyday for you!! Blessing bro!!
 
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