I love, LOve LOVE him, mom! Dad! Why , WHy, WHY don't you?

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GreenNnice

Guest
#1
#1
Scripture says, 'Honor thy father and mother.' God says it a lot, through Himself, through others. Eph 6:2, Matthew 15:4, etc.

We are to honor them, that is respect their decisions in life for things, even, sigh, going out with a guy or gal.

THIS he^re is one HUGE reason why I say things like, for guys: 'Before you get very far at all into a first encounter with a girl, make certain she believes in God, at the very least.'

Sure, learn more about her in a REAL first date after this encounter but there is NO reason to get too hooKed on a girl that is NOT going to be a potential mate because they have an infinitely different view on life, not to mention, eternity.

K?

With me?

Mom and dad can form their own opinions when they finally meet YOUR guy, miladies, but, at first, you will be saying things like, 'I met this guy, mom. He is sooo cool, so like me. He saw 'Courageous 5 times. And I did too. My favorite book is Passion & Purity by Elizabeth Elliott, and, so is his !! We have soooooo much in common, mom, dad.'

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But, what IF you hear 'no' AFTER this explanation of who this guy is you like ?

What then? What if mom, dad just don't like the guy ?

Do you just go ahead and go out with him anyway?

What IF they say, 'There is just something about him I just don't like,' says dad, AFTER having met your bf/gf .

What's a guy or girl to DO to when THAT happens ?

What does the bible say ?
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God bless :)
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#2
#2
When i had 17 years old, my mother had a friend with a son that wanted to be my boyfriend, I didnt want but some aunts pushed me so i started dating this guy and he was finally my boyfriend.
After many months, i decided that i loved him and that i wanted to marry him, but then my mom scared and said that i was too young and that guy wasnt enough good for me and tried to forced me to end my relationship with him and after some days all the family started to push me to end with that guy. So, after a month i actually ended my relationship with him with all the pain in my heart.

After so many years of that, i have to admit that that guy was bad for me, he was into many real bad things and against God and my mom was right, and i know that soon or later i was going to end my relationship with him but i should had not done what my family said.

I agree in that we must obey and honor our parents to have long life and in what Proverbs 1:8-9 say "Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck." and if our parents give us an advice then think about that possibility, but i think that we should ask to God of what way we must choose, He is the only one who can gives us a good direction and not what others say.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#3
#3
Liz01 said:
When i had 17 years old, my mother had a friend with a son that wanted to be my boyfriend, I didnt want but some aunts pushed me so i started dating this guy and he was finally my boyfriend.
After many months, i decided that i loved him and that i wanted to marry him, but then my mom scared and said that i was too young and that guy wasnt enough good for me and tried to forced me to end my relationship with him and after some days all the family started to push me to end with that guy. So, after a month i actually ended my relationship with him with all the pain in my heart.

After so many years of that, i have to admit that that guy was bad for me, he was into many real bad things and against God and my mom was right, and i know that soon or later i was going to end my relationship with him but i should had not done what my family said.

I agree in that we must obey and honor our parents to have long life and in what Proverbs 1:8-9 say "Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck." and if our parents give us an advice then think about that possibility, but i think that we should ask to God of what way we must choose, He is the only one who can gives us a good direction and not what others say.
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Excellent example, lizzytheone, it is good that you listened to the Lord , who spoke through your mother.

And you thought only 'father knows best,' eh , peeps :D

Always thank God for what He has escaped us from, He will use soo many ways and soo many different people, so, pay attention, especially pay heed when something goes against your mom and dad. BUT, they too CAN ,be not with the best for you....

Always earnestly and honestly , in big, huge, decisions, like liking a guy that mom, dad don't like, GO to God and pray to Him, cry with Him, let Him know you really like the guy/gal and then go forth and ACCEPT the plans He has for you.

Just make sure, IF, by blessed blessing, God is telling you your parents are showing their best love for your situation and care for you by 'no' to this guy you like but...

God is still saying, 'Calaxis, this guy is for you,' OK, good , but then it is time to go to mom and dad and 'honor' them by speaking your heart THROUGH the words God gives you to speak :)


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Lizzy, milady, the Proverbs verse you say is great , parents WANT the best for their kids, they do, yes, the Lord leads. And, yes, ultimately, the final decisión should rest with the peace in our heart after talking then to God about the girl or guy we like, but MOST of the time, if mom, dad don't like the guy/gal, pay deal decisive and not divisive attention to their wisdom, because the Lord WILL use your folks in great, adorning ways in your life, for many things, not just love, but school and other things.
 
C

CC_Bride

Guest
#4
#4
Depends on the relationship with your parents and if they are Christian too. If you have non christian parents, then you can get 'general' dating advice from them if you're choose but otherwise they won't understand what biblical qualities you're looking for so its best to get it from someone else who Christian and like a mentor. I heard of a case where a wonderful Christian guy went to the father of a young woman he was interested in and stated he wanted to "court" her for marriage and asked his permission, only thing was the father was non christian and I kid you not he ridiculed him to his face for asking such a "stupid" question and why doesn't he just sleep with her?
THAT is the kind of non christian parental "advice" you don't need to honour. My opinion growing up, was I would seek only my mothers advice (completely ignore anything my stepfather lectured me with), and seek my much needed Christian advice from my spiritual parents who were a couple who witnessed to me as a teenager and then supported me throughout my Christian teenage years. And when I was engaged I went to them for marriage advice.

So the "honour your mother and father" rule regarding dating, in my opinion only counts if the parents is Christian. I believe Paul made that rule with the assumption that the parents were to be Christian but sadly thats not the case to a lot of people anymore. If its not the case, I think if you're a woman you should seek approval from a mature parent like Christian from your church who is in relationship with you for the guy you want to date then marry. For the man, if her parents aren't Christian he should still meet them and treat them honourably BUT if they don't understand the biblical standard then he should seek a man from her church who does have the spiritual jurisdiction to give his approval like a youth leader or Pastor or mentor.
 
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TyphaniNichole

Guest
#5
#5
Yes! i believe some parents arent keeping their daughter/son away from dating, their doing it because they love them and want the best! i mean what if she marries the guy then finds out hes a devil worshipper or has a criminal record of being a rapist etc? Me being a mom i would want my son to bring home a christian woman who loves God more than my son & puts him 1st
 
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pusparinjani

Guest
#6
#6
But, what IF you hear 'no' AFTER this explanation of who this guy is you like ? ----> we are just a human,arent we ? maybe we will feel lil bit meeeh :/ to our parents, but try to think in the positive side from this problem,

What then? What if mom, dad just don't like the guy ? your parents, they have a strong feeling about ur partner, believe it or not, esp your mum... make a list what a good side and a bad side about this guy/girl and probably u'll find out smth :) p.s dont forget to pray !! :D

Do you just go ahead and go out with him anyway? well i did this before, and baaam! i was lost not only lost but i think i was really2 lost o.o. soo you have to listen to ur parents, because no matter what God chose you have a family like u have now, He has a plan for each of us, God also put us into our family not because abt the accident, because God knows until at the end we need them each other in this world beside we need God in our life, we also need a family, right ?

What IF they say, 'There is just something about him I just don't like,' says dad, AFTER having met your bf/gf-----> about this, try to listen to them, because no matter what, ur parents knows you more than 'this girl/boy', it might be God want to tell you that this guy/girl isnt for you by tell it through your parents

What's a guy or girl to DO to when THAT happens ? seriously, again and again if ur parents dont like ur partner, they have a strong reason like i said before, ur family they have been taking care of you since you were still in ur 'mum stomach' and u thinking about to choose your lovely partner instead of your family. o_O it aint good really

What does the bible say ? proverbs 22:6 start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

GBU
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#7
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
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38
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#7
I am a girl and an only child, as far as my dad is concerned I should have been shipped off to a convent before I noticed any boys or they noticed me, however we are not catholic so was pretty unlikely. He doesn't really like many of my male friends as he thinks there may be more in the wings etc.
 
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keep_on_smiling

Guest
#8
#8
Before I ever thought about being with someone I would know what kind of beliefs they had and whether or not they shared them with me. I agree with Green, I don't think you have to wait until the "first date" to know whether or not they believe in God. So the person I would ask my parents opinion of would be someone that I thought could really be with.

Is it is obeying your parents to stay with a believer that they don't like? (Kind of a tough question)

* That depends on what your parents believe. Are they Christians? (As CC_Bride mentioned if they aren't then they can't fully understand what the Lord would want for you.)

* Have you seriously considered why your parents don't like this person and have been respectful throughout it? (They are your parents and love you, at the very least listen to what they have to say and what concerns they may have. I think loving Christian parents aren't going to have a problem with the right guy or they are going to trust you to go through the right steps in choosing the right guy. Truly consider what they have to say. Remember they are human and can make mistakes and have poor judgements as well.

** And finally after setting aside your emotional feelings toward this person, have you been praying and asking the Lord to show you whether it's right to be with this person? (This is key after getting your parents advice. I don't think it's disobeying your parents to be with someone the Lord has shown you to be with. God is our Father and if He truly is telling us to do something, we need to listen to that above everything else.)

Be honest with yourself- Are you with/want to be with this person because of your feelings or do you feel God wants you to be with this person?



 
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Relena7

Guest
#9
#9
Making smart choices about who you fall in love with doesn't always have to do with your parents butting in. In fact...it's up to the parents to raise their kids to grow up to be smartly independent and make wise choices without needed their parents to think for them all their lives.

Many (but not all) young people are mentally healthy and emotionally mature enough to know what they are and are not looking for in a relationship. :) Just study a bit of psychology. Learn which red flags to watch out for. Read up on things. Gain experience from life and apply what you learn to who you meet and make experiences of your own that will last you a lifetime.

It's okay to meet a few jerks. It teaches you how to look out for them next time round. If my parents totally shielded me from meeting not-so-good people who lied to me, I never would have gotten so good at spotting dishonesty.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my parent's advice. :) But I don't like the message that we should rely on our parents opinions and advice over our own opinions and experiences as a form of "honoring" them. Good parents like their kids to be smart and independent, too. It's a part of growing strong.
 
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violakat

Guest
#10
#10
How about a twist to the question: What if every time you introduce a guy to your parents, either your mom or your dad (who just happens to be Christian) takes an instant disliking to whoever you bring home? Every BF/GF is scrutinized and considered to be unworthy. Laugh, but this does occasionally happened. So, do we then always follow are parents advice, or do we at some point have to realize that sometimes our parents do not always know whats best for us.

At some point, the child hopefully will grow up and live a life of his/her own. And that includes making decisions that parents sometimes don't like. As Relena said, if parents raise their children up correctly, they will eventually become wise enough to know who may or may not be a potentially good mate.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#11
#11
CC_Bride said:
Depends on the relationship with your parents and if they are Christian too. If you have non christian parents, then you can get 'general' dating advice from them if you're choose but otherwise they won't understand what biblical qualities you're looking for so its best to get it from someone else who Christian and like a mentor. I heard of a case where a wonderful Christian guy went to the father of a young woman he was interested in and stated he wanted to "court" her for marriage and asked his permission, only thing was the father was non christian and I kid you not he ridiculed him to his face for asking such a "stupid" question and why doesn't he just sleep with her?
THAT is the kind of non christian parental "advice" you don't need to honour. My opinion growing up, was I would seek only my mothers advice (completely ignore anything my stepfather lectured me with), and seek my much needed Christian advice from my spiritual parents who were a couple who witnessed to me as a teenager and then supported me throughout my Christian teenage years. And when I was engaged I went to them for marriage advice.

So the "honour your mother and father" rule regarding dating, in my opinion only counts if the parents is Christian. I believe Paul made that rule with the assumption that the parents were to be Christian but sadly thats not the case to a lot of people anymore. If its not the case, I think if you're a woman you should seek approval from a mature parent like Christian from your church who is in relationship with you for the guy you want to date then marry. For the man, if her parents aren't Christian he should still meet them and treat them honourably BUT if they don't understand the biblical standard then he should seek a man from her church who does have the spiritual jurisdiction to give his approval like a youth leader or Pastor or mentor.
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Yes, excellent stuff. I completely agree, CC. Your parents relationship with God DOES matter. And, if they are not a great role model for you , miladies, or help throughout your life thus far, then a youth pastor or pastor or mentor, as CC says, is a great confidante, for telling about a guy you like . And, guys, of course, this reflects vice versa for you, I didn't forget about you, not-my dudes :D

The Lord leads. Remember, I am not just saying this based on a couple scriptures listed, and, honoring your mom and dad is mentioned in more verses than just two, just three. Several. That, right there, let's one know HOW important God puts this act of KEEPING mom and dad in the loop of your life :)

Oh, and, don't forget 'honor your mom and dad' is said in The Ten Commandments too :O :p :) I love you, miladies, the Lord leads, the Lord convicts, and, you really do want Him to lead your life, and, don't feel guilty no matter what decisions you are making, THAT is the enemy, who is, unfortunately, alive and well, and, wrecking people's lives daily, even, hourly, even secondly, and, IF that red-horned slimeball could, I am sure he would wreck lives, nanosecondly even :( :( :( Good thing God overcame The Devil long ago , our God won and our God reigns !! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

God bless you, miladies !!! CC is married, so, let her be a confidante, if she wants to be, sorry, CC, I am volunteering you, :D . Julieannie is another with experience and help, great help too , for understanding this stuff of honoring mom and dad. nanabeans is another name .

Now, I hope that I don't volunteer wrong, folks. I have personally got to know them all enough to THINK they are GREAT confidants on c.c. for you IF your parents, etc. situation is different. The Lord leads.

TyphaniNichole said:
Yes! i believe some parents arent keeping their daughter/son away from dating, their doing it because they love them and want the best! i mean what if she marries the guy then finds out hes a devil worshipper or has a criminal record of being a rapist etc? Me being a mom i would want my son to bring home a christian woman who loves God more than my son & puts him 1st
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Yes, TyphNic, I believe that this is a good example of a mom (you :) ) with experience of real life that will help your son in an unbelievable way, when he gets older, since the cutie looks about 3 to me in that pic, so..... God bless you, ,young lady, and, my 'I am happy single' thread, IF you must know was based on your '5 facts posted about yourself' saying 'I am happy single' or something you said close to that.

Amen, too, we are to be content in Christ, He is our providence and divinely so will keep us, blessed in all our singleness, and, IF He changes that situation we will know when IF we are being spiritedly led by Him in our life :)

pusparinjani said:
But, what IF you hear 'no' AFTER this explanation of who this guy is you like ? ----> we are just a human,arent we ? maybe we will feel lil bit meeeh :/ to our parents, but try to think in the positive side from this problem,

What then? What if mom, dad just don't like the guy ? your parents, they have a strong feeling about ur partner, believe it or not, esp your mum... make a list what a good side and a bad side about this guy/girl and probably u'll find out smth :) p.s dont forget to pray !! :D

Do you just go ahead and go out with him anyway? well i did this before, and baaam! i was lost not only lost but i think i was really2 lost o.o. soo you have to listen to ur parents, because no matter what God chose you have a family like u have now, He has a plan for each of us, God also put us into our family not because abt the accident, because God knows until at the end we need them each other in this world beside we need God in our life, we also need a family, right ?

What IF they say, 'There is just something about him I just don't like,' says dad, AFTER having met your bf/gf-----> about this, try to listen to them, because no matter what, ur parents knows you more than 'this girl/boy', it might be God want to tell you that this guy/girl isnt for you by tell it through your parents

What's a guy or girl to DO to when THAT happens ? seriously, again and again if ur parents dont like ur partner, they have a strong reason like i said before, ur family they have been taking care of you since you were still in ur 'mum stomach' and u thinking about to choose your lovely partner instead of your family. o_O it aint good really

What does the bible say ? proverbs 22:6 start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

GBU
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_)))_

Yes, Puspar, exactly, our parents DO have strong opinions about us. Afterall, they made us ! They raised us! They have a lot invested in us , right :)

Yes, good wisdom in your words, too, milady, there is much gained from LISTENING to mom and dad explain their reason WHY they got bad vibes about the guy you like. Sure, they may be wrong, but part of the 'honoring' goes to listening to their speak and then, afterward, and, don't worry the Lord will lead you IF you let Him, it will be your turn to speak :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#12
#12
keep_on_smiling said:
Before I ever thought about being with someone I would know what kind of beliefs they had and whether or not they shared them with me. I agree with Green, I don't think you have to wait until the "first date" to know whether or not they believe in God. So the person I would ask my parents opinion of would be someone that I thought could really be with.

Is it is obeying your parents to stay with a believer that they don't like? (Kind of a tough question)

* That depends on what your parents believe. Are they Christians? (As CC_Bride mentioned if they aren't then they can't fully understand what the Lord would want for you.)

* Have you seriously considered why your parents don't like this person and have been respectful throughout it? (They are your parents and love you, at the very least listen to what they have to say and what concerns they may have. I think loving Christian parents aren't going to have a problem with the right guy or they are going to trust you to go through the right steps in choosing the right guy. Truly consider what they have to say. Remember they are human and can make mistakes and have poor judgements as well.

** And finally after setting aside your emotional feelings toward this person, have you been praying and asking the Lord to show you whether it's right to be with this person? (This is key after getting your parents advice. I don't think it's disobeying your parents to be with someone the Lord has shown you to be with. God is our Father and if He truly is telling us to do something, we need to listen to that above everything else.)

Be honest with yourself- Are you with/want to be with this person because of your feelings or do you feel God wants you to be with this person?
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I highlighted but some of your many good points, SmileOn, God bless you, milady :
 
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