I need to rant about my fam problems.

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NykeAsh

Guest
#1
#1
About 2 months ago i moved out of my parents house. this caused my parents and my grandma to start fighting. well i graduated last Saturday and my parents had a celebration for me, my grandma got me for pictures but when she dropped me off she didnt say anything to my dad, her son, and just left. after that me and my fiance have been texting her and she said she was trying to avoid getting yelled at. she hardly talks to me now. it bothers me because if she did this at graduation will she even go to my wedding? she says she tried getting ahold of my dad but she hasnt. idk anymore, i dont want any of my fam to not be talking to each other. their family. "Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten." of course some of this seems to be my fault and no one will admit it but if i hadnt ran away no one would be fighting like this and everything would be normal again. scratch that, nothing was normal. fighting, screaming, yelling, running, i hated it them and i still do. i thought maybe if i left things would get better. they did between me and my mom but they got worse between me and my grandma. this sucks.
 
MadeInGodsImage

MadeInGodsImage

Senior Member
#2
Mar 30, 2015
147
1
16
#2
NykeAsh said:
About 2 months ago i moved out of my parents house. this caused my parents and my grandma to start fighting. well i graduated last Saturday and my parents had a celebration for me, my grandma got me for pictures but when she dropped me off she didnt say anything to my dad, her son, and just left. after that me and my fiance have been texting her and she said she was trying to avoid getting yelled at. she hardly talks to me now. it bothers me because if she did this at graduation will she even go to my wedding? she says she tried getting ahold of my dad but she hasnt. idk anymore, i dont want any of my fam to not be talking to each other. their family. "Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten." of course some of this seems to be my fault and no one will admit it but if i hadnt ran away no one would be fighting like this and everything would be normal again. scratch that, nothing was normal. fighting, screaming, yelling, running, i hated it them and i still do. i thought maybe if i left things would get better. they did between me and my mom but they got worse between me and my grandma. this sucks.
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Moving out and running away are entirely different. What I understand is that you ran away due to the fights in your family? It would be helpful if you could explain why you ran away or why your family is fighting while you were with them. And I think your too young to have a fiance right now. Never heard of anyone getting engaged at this age. I think that causes unrest in your family as well? Whatever the reason may be, running away won't make it better. You need to go back and settle this yourself. It's always better to face the problems than to run away. Fights are present in a lot of families, even mine, i would rather stay and get them all working together again. You know why you ran away, go back and fix that so you won't feel like running away again.
 
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pwrnJC

Banned
#3
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#3
I am curious as to the choice of picture you have on your "I need to rant about my fam problems" page. Isn't that a 'cartoon' demon in a movie? I see that you're a teenager..which is a rough time anyway. I read your issues, and then, this demon face pops out at me as I start to respond. There just may be issues that you are not actually aware of...Grandma may be in the early stages of dimensia (Who knows), or perhaps somehow, some way, your fiance may pose a threat or be problematic to your family and they just don't know how to deal with their 18 yr old daughter suddenly moving out..moving out to where? with WHOM? What arrangements have been made for Your security? There is so much we just don't know, based on your single paragraph. Sounds like a family curse, sounds like this has really gone on way before your graduation. Sounds disfunctional..and yes, there is absolutely NOTHING mentioned by you about GOD, JESUS...salvation, CHRISTIANITY, BIBLE..or anything at all to do with this chatroom. All we see is "THIS SUCKS". Are you ready for some honest holy spirit filled advice..or did you just want to vent and get this off your chest?
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#4
Mar 26, 2014
4,522
2,507
113
#4
NykeAsh said:
About 2 months ago i moved out of my parents house. this caused my parents and my grandma to start fighting. well i graduated last Saturday and my parents had a celebration for me, my grandma got me for pictures but when she dropped me off she didnt say anything to my dad, her son, and just left. after that me and my fiance have been texting her and she said she was trying to avoid getting yelled at. she hardly talks to me now. it bothers me because if she did this at graduation will she even go to my wedding? she says she tried getting ahold of my dad but she hasnt. idk anymore, i dont want any of my fam to not be talking to each other. their family. "Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten." of course some of this seems to be my fault and no one will admit it but if i hadnt ran away no one would be fighting like this and everything would be normal again. scratch that, nothing was normal. fighting, screaming, yelling, running, i hated it them and i still do. i thought maybe if i left things would get better. they did between me and my mom but they got worse between me and my grandma. this sucks.
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I'm sorry your family doesn't have healthy ways of relating to each other. But it is not your job to fix your parents or teach them how to be responsible, respectful adults. Sounds like the only thing your moving out has to do with any of the fighting is it gave them a new topic to fight about; if they weren't fighting about you moving out, they'd probably be fighting about something else. So yes it's crappy; no it is not your fault. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do to make your family get along with each other.

One other thing I want to say is please take some time to ask yourself some hard questions about your upcoming marriage. My brother once dated a gal who was dating him mostly to escape her crappy home life, and I'd hate to see you run to marriage as a means of escape. I don't know you or your fiancé so you may be the world's most solid and perfect couple, but marrying young and coming from a home that is unhealthy and dysfunctional are both things that can add a lot of stress to a marriage. Marriage is a lot of work; it's not going to be all riding off into the sunset and living happily ever after.
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#5
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#5
OK, I know this is a tangent but my first response was YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED AT 18???

Personally, I think everyone planning to get married should be required to spend at least 2 weeks sitting in on divorce court before being issued a license. ESPECIALLY one in that age group that seems to know it all, but will find out decades later that they didn't.

And the demon faced avatar didn't sit well either. pwrnJC makes some points worth considering.

As for the rest of it, welcome to family dynamics. Slow down, seek the Lord, honor your elders and realize that you alone cannot fix things. Family issues require family solutions. Engage them respectfully about all this.
 
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Nekisha_Kira

Guest
#6
#6
My family was mentally messed up too and I left because it was emotional and mental abuse. My friend's parents tried to help me out by letting me stay with them when I was 18 to finish high school.

My advice about getting married, if ur coming out of a broken home u may have many of their issues and u should pray and fast and REALLY seek after God to see what being married is, on ALL levels. There's actually a huge amount that everyone needs to know and change them shelf.
When I knew I might be married I prayed to God because I came from a really broken past.
If you want ur relationship to last, if u want ur children to be at their best if u want the best family life then u need to seek first after God first before getting married.
 
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NykeAsh

Guest
#7
#7
The picture is of a cartoon character named Jack Skeleton. I typed this post because last time i was on here it helped but this time i get on here and find a lot of judgement about my decisions. I get that i didnt provide a lot of info about whats going on, and i have personal reasons for that. I posted this in a moment of sadness and if i offended anyone im sorry.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
pwrnJC said:
I am curious as to the choice of picture you have on your "I need to rant about my fam problems" page. Isn't that a 'cartoon' demon in a movie? I see that you're a teenager..which is a rough time anyway. I read your issues, and then, this demon face pops out at me as I start to respond. There just may be issues that you are not actually aware of...Grandma may be in the early stages of dimensia (Who knows), or perhaps somehow, some way, your fiance may pose a threat or be problematic to your family and they just don't know how to deal with their 18 yr old daughter suddenly moving out..moving out to where? with WHOM? What arrangements have been made for Your security? There is so much we just don't know, based on your single paragraph. Sounds like a family curse, sounds like this has really gone on way before your graduation. Sounds disfunctional..and yes, there is absolutely NOTHING mentioned by you about GOD, JESUS...salvation, CHRISTIANITY, BIBLE..or anything at all to do with this chatroom. All we see is "THIS SUCKS". Are you ready for some honest holy spirit filled advice..or did you just want to vent and get this off your chest?
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We aren't in a chatroom, we're in a forum. If you're going to scold someone at least know the right words.
She did title this 'i need to rant'.
As usual you're so busy berating people for not saying the 'right' things you ignore everything else, even what is plainly in front of you. You typically bring nothing to any post except condemnation, criticism and dissension.
 
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pwrnJC

Banned
#9
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#9
HOld on for one second...you have posted 14,612 posts? DO you have a holy spirit filled awesome CHRISTIAN life or what? The only one who is being critical, causing dissention here is UGLY. Am I berating you now? THe original post never mentioned JESUS CHRIST or that she was seeking prayer, or GOD's touch on this. HOW did you miss that? JESUS would have none of His own calling themselves UGLY. HE changes UGLY to something Beautiful...try letting HIM do some changing so that you can begin to praise HIM, do HIS WILL in your life and stop your own version of berating others. GOD will never ask you how many LIKES you received online.
 
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Nykki

Guest
#10
#10
Will all of you just stop? Maybe NykeAsh is confused about what is going on and maybe instead of judging her pic and about how she didnt mention anything about religion She Needed Somewhere To Tell at Least Part Of Her Story. We are not Supposed to judge people but instead are called to help them.
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#11
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#11
It's obvious that satan is stirring you-know-what's among her family. It might be helpful if she abandons the satanic imagery. It might also be helpful if she reconsiders the life-course she has set out on. What you see as being judgmental are actually suggestions to steer her away from damaging influences and actions. Kinda like taking the log out of one's eyes ... if we were to say to remove that log would you find that judgmental?

NykeAsh, no one here is trying to judge you. But many of us here are obviously seeing influences in your life and family that perhaps you are blind to. Please accept our suggestions as just that - suggestions and not attacks. They aren't meant to be so.
 
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