J
jeaniebeanie
Guest
Dear Brothers and Sisters, I have written for prayer quite a few times. Many of you who have read my other requests are well acquainted with my story. It is a long one and I am feeling so horrible right now that I do not even want to repeat it. Suffice it to say that I know that when I leave this Earth I am going to hell. No, I am not Schizophrenic, or Psychotic. According to the many psychiatrists I have seen over the last ten years I am just severely depressed. What good is a diagnosis if there is no solution. Sure there are many meds to help with depression and I have been on almost every one without any success. I have lost everything. Before all this happened, I was a teacher who absolutely loved her job. I had to resign from my job, I have lost many friends who cannot understand my condition, my dad passed away making matters worse, my own sister and brother-in-law, whom I love dearly, have very little patience with me. Mind you, they are both born-again Christians. I have 2 lovely nieces whom I cannot enjoy because of the way I feel. The only person that I can depend on is my mother. I know that I will never get married, have a family or live a normal life. There are days that I fear God and then there are other days that I am so angry with HIM. This suffering has not brought me closer to God. It has not edified me or anyone that knows me. Please pray that God complete restore me and make me whole. Or just let HIM kill me. By the way, I am not suicidal. Never have been. All I can tell you is that I cannot live this way anymore. If God is truly loving and merciful as the Bible says He is, then let Him do something already. If I sound disrespectful, it is because I am fed up of just existing and not living a full life. Thanks for listening to me and please pray that God will do something soon. jeaniebeanie(Jeanette Bonano) Please excuse any spelling errors. When I am anxious, I type very quickly.