I WANT TO GIVE UP

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jeaniebeanie

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Dear Brothers and Sisters, I have written for prayer quite a few times. Many of you who have read my other requests are well acquainted with my story. It is a long one and I am feeling so horrible right now that I do not even want to repeat it. Suffice it to say that I know that when I leave this Earth I am going to hell. No, I am not Schizophrenic, or Psychotic. According to the many psychiatrists I have seen over the last ten years I am just severely depressed. What good is a diagnosis if there is no solution. Sure there are many meds to help with depression and I have been on almost every one without any success. I have lost everything. Before all this happened, I was a teacher who absolutely loved her job. I had to resign from my job, I have lost many friends who cannot understand my condition, my dad passed away making matters worse, my own sister and brother-in-law, whom I love dearly, have very little patience with me. Mind you, they are both born-again Christians. I have 2 lovely nieces whom I cannot enjoy because of the way I feel. The only person that I can depend on is my mother. I know that I will never get married, have a family or live a normal life. There are days that I fear God and then there are other days that I am so angry with HIM. This suffering has not brought me closer to God. It has not edified me or anyone that knows me. Please pray that God complete restore me and make me whole. Or just let HIM kill me. By the way, I am not suicidal. Never have been. All I can tell you is that I cannot live this way anymore. If God is truly loving and merciful as the Bible says He is, then let Him do something already. If I sound disrespectful, it is because I am fed up of just existing and not living a full life. Thanks for listening to me and please pray that God will do something soon. jeaniebeanie(Jeanette Bonano) Please excuse any spelling errors. When I am anxious, I type very quickly.
 
Jeanie Beanie, My dear sister , Iknow what you are somewhat going thru. My heart knows how your heart feels and the despair you are feeling. It is such an ugly feeling.and no where to run. I have had anixety and deep depression for 28 years. and the only way i have gotten thru it is GOD and like you ,you wonder where are you GOD but he is there. I will pray for you and i know it is hard to live sometimes but please keep praying and never give up. IM not much on writing, but I just wanted you to know that someone is listening along with GOD.

mmberk Your sister
 
Lord Jesus please send Sister Jennie some extra Love

Hi ya Sis, it has been a long time since I've been on here. I have been quite down for awhile myself.

Finally I let God cheer me up. I was just bound to hold on to my pain and dissapointment. I was successful too, for a couple of months I felt really lousy. Finally, I gave in and let God do what He wanted, Cheer me up! I pray that our dear Lord will lay His hands on you Sis, and send His love and warmth through you and give you a great big smile !!!

I pray you have a wonderful rest of the week, in Jesus name, Amen.

Love in Jesus
bro gary





quote=jeaniebeanie;549159]Dear Brothers and Sisters, I have written for prayer quite a few times. Many of you who have read my other requests are well acquainted with my story. It is a long one and I am feeling so horrible right now that I do not even want to repeat it. Suffice it to say that I know that when I leave this Earth I am going to hell. No, I am not Schizophrenic, or Psychotic. According to the many psychiatrists I have seen over the last ten years I am just severely depressed. What good is a diagnosis if there is no solution. Sure there are many meds to help with depression and I have been on almost every one without any success. I have lost everything. Before all this happened, I was a teacher who absolutely loved her job. I had to resign from my job, I have lost many friends who cannot understand my condition, my dad passed away making matters worse, my own sister and brother-in-law, whom I love dearly, have very little patience with me. Mind you, they are both born-again Christians. I have 2 lovely nieces whom I cannot enjoy because of the way I feel. The only person that I can depend on is my mother. I know that I will never get married, have a family or live a normal life. There are days that I fear God and then there are other days that I am so angry with HIM. This suffering has not brought me closer to God. It has not edified me or anyone that knows me. Please pray that God complete restore me and make me whole. Or just let HIM kill me. By the way, I am not suicidal. Never have been. All I can tell you is that I cannot live this way anymore. If God is truly loving and merciful as the Bible says He is, then let Him do something already. If I sound disrespectful, it is because I am fed up of just existing and not living a full life. Thanks for listening to me and please pray that God will do something soon. jeaniebeanie(Jeanette Bonano) Please excuse any spelling errors. When I am anxious, I type very quickly.[/quote]
 
Jeaniebeani... This life *spreads arms and looks around "was never meant to be a full life." I don't believe it anyway. I was in a bible class and they were talking about "expectation" what does someone expect out of life. What did Abraham expect when he was holding a blade over his son? what did Peter expect when he requested to be crucified upside down? what did any of the apostles expect knowing they were just going to be stoned, beheaded, imprisoned and crucified for God? Our expectation is not of this world. It is of the next world. The spirit world of God. When we have Jesus in our hearts we are completely full, we have peace and contentment. Even with no food or water, with no home or family we are content in God, that even if I starve to death, praise God when I die I'll be in His arms. Consider it all joy. Going through pain in this world, give that up to Him as your sacrifice, saying "GOD? if THIS is what you want for me? then this is all I want" "if this makes you happy? then be happy, I'll take it" Jeanie beanie this world is short. Your life is short, again I've said it before you may not live to see tomorrow. Why not enjoy one last sunset? one last conversation, absorb one last smile. If you think you know that you have much more suffering and life left, then I would have to tell you that your view is a fictional one. You do not know how much time you have left. Its all about perspective. God bless and good luck
 
The world can be a very depressing. If there is just one thing that brings you joy, thank God for it all day.
I think you will have things to add to your list every day. Play praise and worship music, sing hymns. That is how I found the Joy of the Lord.
God tells us to come to him in worship and thanksgiving. These are verses that help me, I quote them all the time.
I will pray for you too.
Phil 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2 Cor 4:15-18
All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
 
jeaniebeanie said:
Dear Brothers and Sisters, I have written for prayer quite a few times. Many of you who have read my other requests are well acquainted with my story. It is a long one and I am feeling so horrible right now that I do not even want to repeat it. Suffice it to say that I know that when I leave this Earth I am going to hell. No, I am not Schizophrenic, or Psychotic. According to the many psychiatrists I have seen over the last ten years I am just severely depressed. What good is a diagnosis if there is no solution. Sure there are many meds to help with depression and I have been on almost every one without any success. I have lost everything. Before all this happened, I was a teacher who absolutely loved her job. I had to resign from my job, I have lost many friends who cannot understand my condition, my dad passed away making matters worse, my own sister and brother-in-law, whom I love dearly, have very little patience with me. Mind you, they are both born-again Christians. I have 2 lovely nieces whom I cannot enjoy because of the way I feel. The only person that I can depend on is my mother. I know that I will never get married, have a family or live a normal life. There are days that I fear God and then there are other days that I am so angry with HIM. This suffering has not brought me closer to God. It has not edified me or anyone that knows me. Please pray that God complete restore me and make me whole. Or just let HIM kill me. By the way, I am not suicidal. Never have been. All I can tell you is that I cannot live this way anymore. If God is truly loving and merciful as the Bible says He is, then let Him do something already. If I sound disrespectful, it is because I am fed up of just existing and not living a full life. Thanks for listening to me and please pray that God will do something soon. jeaniebeanie(Jeanette Bonano) Please excuse any spelling errors. When I am anxious, I type very quickly.
Click to expand...

My friend, I will tell you EXACTLY what this is.

This is a demonic oppression. Not many Christians know what to do in these cases, but that is what it is. And doctors can't diagnose demons, and many Christians don't know the authority Jesus has.

If you want to be delivered, seriously pray to the Lord God in Jesus name, to fight against these attacks for you. I will pray also.

May Jesus bless you.
 
Dear sister,

Whatever you do, I hope you will not throw your Salvation away. And you are not going to Hell if you continue to keep Jesus in your heart. You may not understand why you are going through this suffering but you must also remember that you also do not have all the answers too. (Just like all of us here who also do not have all the answers to our life on earth)

In this world, man will fail us, even those who sincerely want to help us. All of us here have our share of depression and suffering but we do not give up and hold on as long as we are in this world.

You wrote, 'I am suicidal, never have been'. I like that. It tells me that you are naturally a strong person. I like to encourage you to use this natural strength in you and together with the authority of God's Word in Christ Jesus, and start confessing that Acts 18:28, 'In Him I live, and I move and I have mine being!' And with the same unwavering faith in Christ Jesus, start commanding the devil and all his depression to leave you in Jesus Christ! Psalm 107:20 - God has sent his Word to heal you... You have the believer's authority in you.

I prayed that God will give you strength and wisdom to see His Word as all powerful and He can deliver you, just as he has done to many all over the world.

Press on, sister.
 
You are going to heaven dear lady no matter what your illness makes you think. Depression and anxiety are severe illnesses that affect many genuine heaven-bound Christians. Usually, over time, they become managable or dissipate. But it can take years of learning to cope, finding the right medicines, healthy diet and suppliments, exercise program, and schedule to live by.

I personally believe spirit-filled joyful assemblies full of genuine committed Christians to network with make a big difference as well!
 
Jeanie, I know you think God is not with you, but if He wasnt, then why did he put you so strongly on my heart for the past 8 days?
I have continued to pray for you, but these last 8 days you have been set before me even more in Jesus.
I cannot speak to why you have such a heavy heart and sorrow filled life, but I do know Jesus has not abandoned you.
Do keep holding on in the faith, hope and love we are all called to in Jesus Christ is Lord !
I will continue to be obedient in prayer and love for you in Jesus.

Huge hugs and God bless. :)
pickles
 
There is hope for the hopeless and peace for the restless. May the peace of God enfold you. I have been in despair many times. I too suffer from severe depression. It is a dark and hopeless place, but implore you. Do not isolate yourself. The devil works in the dark and sometimes we make those dark places in our lives for him. Sometimes when we're depressed we project our own feelings onto others. There are many times when ice been fed up with myself do I figured everyone else was fed up with me too. It is not true. That's a dark place the enemy works well. Do not hide what you feel. Find someone to be miserable around... Find someone you can truly express how you feel around. Trying to act any other way will only make you more depressed. As you go through this journey, God will work in you.
 
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