I'll love you to your face! The human motto

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Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#1
#1
I seriously feel bad emotionally and I hope someone understands what I'm talking about. Years ago I had a group of friends in highschool who I thought adored me. A year later I discovered they made fun of me for being "too Christian" and I believe some jealousy issues as well. I ended those friendships because it hurt too much knowing they didn't accept me fully.

Fast forward six years to today. I just recently accquired some new friends who aren't Christian. They were really excited to accept me and we had some great times. However I discovered that they sometimes talk about eachother behind other's backs. I also am sensing some tention between me and another girl who might (I'm not sure) think I'm coming on to her boyfriend/fiance...which I'm not.

I can't drop another group of friends. It's been literally YEARS before I've had friends that I could talk to and have fun with. Its destroying me inside that I wouldn't be friends with these people because of some misunderstanding. However, I'm afraid to confront them because I dont want to make things bad if it's all in my head.

Someone pray for me. Dont tell me to find new friends because that isn't going to happen.
 
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Lyndies

Guest
#2
#2
I just prayed. :]

Um...I totally understand that you wouldn't want to drop them. I definitely think you should pray for each of them and just be a light. Maybe if they see that you don't talk about them behind their backs, but truly love them (to their face and behind their backs), then they will appreciate how you don't do that to them since they don't see you doing itto thers. You know? I'm sure thats' the case anyway. And maybe you could just say something like "hey...thaat person is your friend, you shouldn't be talking about them like that." Or something.

As for the girl and her fiance, maybe you could just tell her that you've sensed some tension and that you don't want anything to come between you guys.

Blessings in this!
 
Theygaveutheirworst

Theygaveutheirworst

Senior Member
#3
Jun 25, 2010
707
9
18
37
#3
Keep strong, D_Z. When we choose to have worldly friends, we choose to see the bad side of friendships. I've seen so-called friends treat each other like garbage( talk down to them & ridicule them) and still remain friends. It makes me wonder how much we're willing to go through to be friends with someone in this world. How much are we willing to look past to be friends with some people? Continue to pray for those around you.

How about I pray that you'll find some friends near you who can encourage you in your faith?
 
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Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#4
#4
I really appreciate it. Honestly both of your responses are gold to my ears. It encourages me knowing someone out there cares
 
Theygaveutheirworst

Theygaveutheirworst

Senior Member
#5
Jun 25, 2010
707
9
18
37
#5
No problem. And until you find some local christian friends who can encourage you, you will always have some awesome people here that you can lean on.
 
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Lyndies

Guest
#6
#6
Yeah, I mean...you don't have to drop your othe rfriends at all, but it would totatlly help tp have a christian buddy because you can encourage each other in faith.
 
Theygaveutheirworst

Theygaveutheirworst

Senior Member
#7
Jun 25, 2010
707
9
18
37
#7
Lyndies said:
Yeah, I mean...you don't have to drop your othe rfriends at all, but it would totatlly help tp have a christian buddy because you can encourage each other in faith.
Click to expand...
Agreed. You can go show those friends of yours what TRUE friendship really means. Like Lyndies said in her first post: Be a light.
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#8
May 5, 2009
2,565
20
38
#8
Sorry to hear that Dread. I've had similar experiences with unsaved friends. They dissapoint me sometimes but I can't just let them go.

I heard something really useful the other day, in that there is nothing that compels unsaved friends to support you or help you when you have a problem or feel down.

Just like we can't expect unsaved people to behave like Christians in their own lives, we can't expect them to behave like Christians would behave towards us, and we can't expect them and rely on them to be there for us or even treat us well. They don't know Jesus and altruism is dead these days.

The ideal thing would be if our unsaved friends got saved. That's what I'll be praying for.
 
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Lifelike

Guest
#9
#9
Dread_Zeppelin said:
I seriously feel bad emotionally and I hope someone understands what I'm talking about. Years ago I had a group of friends in highschool who I thought adored me. A year later I discovered they made fun of me for being "too Christian" and I believe some jealousy issues as well. I ended those friendships because it hurt too much knowing they didn't accept me fully.

Fast forward six years to today. I just recently accquired some new friends who aren't Christian. They were really excited to accept me and we had some great times. However I discovered that they sometimes talk about eachother behind other's backs. I also am sensing some tention between me and another girl who might (I'm not sure) think I'm coming on to her boyfriend/fiance...which I'm not.

I can't drop another group of friends. It's been literally YEARS before I've had friends that I could talk to and have fun with. Its destroying me inside that I wouldn't be friends with these people because of some misunderstanding. However, I'm afraid to confront them because I dont want to make things bad if it's all in my head.

Someone pray for me. Dont tell me to find new friends because that isn't going to happen.
Click to expand...
Funny, i think these things are common with Christian and non Christian groups... I can understand how you feel, its horrible knowing that peopel talk behind your back, can be quite hurtful, and equally horrible knowing that they are being nice to your face but in their heart they judge you and dont really know who you are. When i was growing up I personally had a lot of poeple that ridiculed me to my face AND behind my back haha, but have since found some friends that are quite genuine. But the old gossip engine is one that is hard to stop sometimes, and people love to talk, but i would believ that God would have His people come out of this and learn to be genuine. We arent always going to understand everything about each other, but i guess when we talk about people we should think about whether it would be hurtful if they knew what we were saying. And we do need to talk sometimes, about people but it should definately not be something we do with every one we speak with, if we need to air soemthing or get another perspective we should limit who we speak with.
 
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bobie

Guest
#10
#10
man i think i can somewhat relate to this situation except without drama! i mean most of my best friends are none believers and they hate going to church cuz most people who go there are hypocrites! anyway that didn't stop me from loving the lord!
 
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