Precious Laurian,
I am praying for your healing and restoration................It is your BIRTHRIGHT in CHRIST. There is a ministry online that has a VERY POWERFUL teaching about this very situation you are going through. It's called
www.laughcry.org Rev. John Chappell teaches about "soul ties", which simply means we get connected to others in our souls, and when they die, that connection has to be severed properly. Now this doesn't mean we forget them or never talk about them or any of that. Rather, it is a very healthy way for us to "let go'' of them so we can grieve their loss and remember the good, and go on in our lives.
There is a great release when you do this, and not only do you FEEL the overwhelming sense of GOD'S Love, but the re-assurance of them being in HIS hands. If you go online to the ministry mentioned above, there are all kinds of free teachings available for you. One of them is the lead book:
Laugh and Cry Your Way to Freedom.............This book respecfully covers these types of issues, as well as divorce, abuse, etc., etc.
I know this will help you because my Sister went home to be with the LORD back in April of 09'. She was kinda' like the "cement" that kept my family together. It was sudden and shocking to say the least. No major previous illnesses. The LORD has walked me through this very, very, compassionately. I now have a great peace about her being there with HIM. I know this will help you tremendously, because it is working for many that learn how.
I will continue to pray for you as you CELEBRATE THEM, THROUGH YOUR HEALING.................
SeekinHIM