I
I was 13 when I tried to commit suicide.
I know how it feels to be all alone in the bathroom in the middle of the night with a knife
in your hand, your body shaking, your jaw clinched tight, tears rolling down your cheeks.
Wondering why no one can see your pain, hear your cries.
What God showed me that night, is that people will tear you down.
You can't rely on people to fill the voids in your heart, not family, not friends... no one.
We are human and humans fail, we are not perfect.
He said to me, that I need to rely on Him and him alone.
He will not fail me. He will not let me down.
He will listen to me, comfort me, and heal me of my broken heart.
But he needs all the peices of my heart to put it back together.
After that night, it wasn't all dandy.
Six years later, I'm just now understanding what he told me that night...
I'm just now learning how to rely completely on Him.
I have climbed multiple mountains, I've seen very low valleys.
But by having faith, God has guided me and stood by my side,
never leaving me or doubting me.
Mark 11: 22 - 24
22 "Have faith in God," Jesus answered.
23 "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,'
and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.
24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you of your sins."
I know how it feels to be all alone in the bathroom in the middle of the night with a knife
in your hand, your body shaking, your jaw clinched tight, tears rolling down your cheeks.
Wondering why no one can see your pain, hear your cries.
What God showed me that night, is that people will tear you down.
You can't rely on people to fill the voids in your heart, not family, not friends... no one.
We are human and humans fail, we are not perfect.
He said to me, that I need to rely on Him and him alone.
He will not fail me. He will not let me down.
He will listen to me, comfort me, and heal me of my broken heart.
But he needs all the peices of my heart to put it back together.
After that night, it wasn't all dandy.
Six years later, I'm just now understanding what he told me that night...
I'm just now learning how to rely completely on Him.
I have climbed multiple mountains, I've seen very low valleys.
But by having faith, God has guided me and stood by my side,
never leaving me or doubting me.
Mark 11: 22 - 24
22 "Have faith in God," Jesus answered.
23 "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,'
and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.
24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you of your sins."