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Okay well i posted on here about two-three months ago. I dont know how to post links to previous posts, so i'll just try to synthesise what i said back that. So basically, I really like this girl. I haven't ever really like anyone as much as I like her, and i feel there must be a reason for that.
WHAT FOLLOWS HAPPENED ABOUT TWO-THREE MONTHS AGO....
I asked her out for lunch a few times, and i, at least, felt we strongly bonded. Lots of talking, laughing, lots of eyecontact it was really nice.
Well, a few weeks later, I told this girl I liked her. And a week or so later she sends me this long email, telling me about everything she's been doing in africa, (she's gone over there with her church to help). but she also said that she's thought long and deeply about it, but that she's not ready for a boyfriend, and that one reason is because she feels that she is not unselfish enough to treat someone in the way that they should be treated in a relationship, and that she feels she'd let all her validation get tied up in that person, and she said that there are other reasons too but they're too long and complicated. and she said that she felt really honored that someone she thinks highly of likes her, but simply doesnt want a relationship. (But she's really not selfishi n any way whatsoever!)
NOW (the past 6 weeks)
So we've had lunch together twice now, been to a party together, and hung about with a group of friends together (playing a bit of pool etc). And there was no awkwardness. Not even the very day she came back - i asked if we could have lunch and she said yes. It was as if nothing had changed, there was still that eyecontact, laughing, talking, smiling, there was no awkwardness.
Recently I've found out she's never had a boyfriend before, (I've never had a girlfriend), and i'm wondering if that could have been a factor... Its just difficult - maybe im kidding myself - but on the one hand, whenever she's talking to us as a group- like at this party-, for the most part she seems to be looking into my eyes, smiling and laughing- but on the other hand, she takes forever to reply to my messages and the like or doesnt at all- maybe she's just too busy... Maybe that was a reason why??
I guess I'm asking whether you guys believe its worth persisting? I still like her a lot, and i'm just not sure of whether she likes me at all in that way, or if she feels too busy/too inconfident, to be in a relationship.
And if you think I should persist, any advice as how I should go about it? I just hate the idea of hassling/coaxing her into doing something she's hesitant to do..... but it has been over 2 months since i told her how i felt.......... Thankyou all and God bless!
WHAT FOLLOWS HAPPENED ABOUT TWO-THREE MONTHS AGO....
I asked her out for lunch a few times, and i, at least, felt we strongly bonded. Lots of talking, laughing, lots of eyecontact it was really nice.
Well, a few weeks later, I told this girl I liked her. And a week or so later she sends me this long email, telling me about everything she's been doing in africa, (she's gone over there with her church to help). but she also said that she's thought long and deeply about it, but that she's not ready for a boyfriend, and that one reason is because she feels that she is not unselfish enough to treat someone in the way that they should be treated in a relationship, and that she feels she'd let all her validation get tied up in that person, and she said that there are other reasons too but they're too long and complicated. and she said that she felt really honored that someone she thinks highly of likes her, but simply doesnt want a relationship. (But she's really not selfishi n any way whatsoever!)
NOW (the past 6 weeks)
So we've had lunch together twice now, been to a party together, and hung about with a group of friends together (playing a bit of pool etc). And there was no awkwardness. Not even the very day she came back - i asked if we could have lunch and she said yes. It was as if nothing had changed, there was still that eyecontact, laughing, talking, smiling, there was no awkwardness.
Recently I've found out she's never had a boyfriend before, (I've never had a girlfriend), and i'm wondering if that could have been a factor... Its just difficult - maybe im kidding myself - but on the one hand, whenever she's talking to us as a group- like at this party-, for the most part she seems to be looking into my eyes, smiling and laughing- but on the other hand, she takes forever to reply to my messages and the like or doesnt at all- maybe she's just too busy... Maybe that was a reason why??
I guess I'm asking whether you guys believe its worth persisting? I still like her a lot, and i'm just not sure of whether she likes me at all in that way, or if she feels too busy/too inconfident, to be in a relationship.
And if you think I should persist, any advice as how I should go about it? I just hate the idea of hassling/coaxing her into doing something she's hesitant to do..... but it has been over 2 months since i told her how i felt.......... Thankyou all and God bless!
