In desperate need of prayer...

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Psalm_69

Guest
#1
#1
Hello bretheren. These last days are definately a hard battle and I am running out of steam and feeling drained from the worldly tortment.

First of all I am a single young mom. The babys dad and I had good intention before but then things started falling apart. we were going to get married but I cancelled last minute because of his honesty issues. we've been trying to work it out since but it seems like we're just wearing each other down.

My sister, among many other locals where I live, have cancer. she is going through kemo therapy and had just heard she had to go back in again due to infection. we wont find out how she is doing until tomorrow...she has breast cancer...two children and a husband.

i am going through postpartum, im a new mom, my son was born in september. i'm at home living with my parents who dont share the same beliefs. i havent been able to attend church for over a month now and really miss seeing church family. i live out on a reserve and i dont drive. no vehicle. surrounded by secular people. i wanted my son to grow in a christian home, a stable home. but now my heart is breaking. i feel like i cant keep him. im starting to have really bad negative feelings towards his dad and want to live a life where i wont have to see his face ever again. his dad that is. i've been considering having my son put up for adoption until i can get my life together and stable for the both of us. but it breaks my heart that im thinking its come to this.

i myself dont feel quite as close to our Heavenly Father as i once did. i wanted to be baptised and it never happened. i wanted to be married and it never happened. i wanted a good life for my son and so far its a malfunction. sometimes i have thoughts of suicide but i want to live. i want to be here for my son. i want to leave this world in good terms and be happy for Jesus' second coming.

i feel really lost, confused, hurt and hopeless. i feel like my prayers are not enough. i guess i deserve everything i get for what i've done and ultimately deserve death. some days i wonder if it'd even be a bad thing if i never lived again because some days it feels like giving up is the only solution. but as we all know thats satan whispering into my mind. i dont want to be thinking like that. that is why i am asking for help. i am asking for prayers for not only me but those around me. these times of troubles are definately happening and the only light to it all is that its a sign that our Father has made us a promise and i want to be worthy to see it all and live with Him.

thank you for reading this.
 
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HeavenlyWarrior

Banned
#2
Oct 27, 2012
300
5
0
#2
Psalm_69 said:
Hello bretheren. These last days are definately a hard battle and I am running out of steam and feeling drained from the worldly tortment.

First of all I am a single young mom. The babys dad and I had good intention before but then things started falling apart. we were going to get married but I cancelled last minute because of his honesty issues. we've been trying to work it out since but it seems like we're just wearing each other down.

My sister, among many other locals where I live, have cancer. she is going through kemo therapy and had just heard she had to go back in again due to infection. we wont find out how she is doing until tomorrow...she has breast cancer...two children and a husband.

i am going through postpartum, im a new mom, my son was born in september. i'm at home living with my parents who dont share the same beliefs. i havent been able to attend church for over a month now and really miss seeing church family. i live out on a reserve and i dont drive. no vehicle. surrounded by secular people. i wanted my son to grow in a christian home, a stable home. but now my heart is breaking. i feel like i cant keep him. im starting to have really bad negative feelings towards his dad and want to live a life where i wont have to see his face ever again. his dad that is. i've been considering having my son put up for adoption until i can get my life together and stable for the both of us. but it breaks my heart that im thinking its come to this.

i myself dont feel quite as close to our Heavenly Father as i once did. i wanted to be baptised and it never happened. i wanted to be married and it never happened. i wanted a good life for my son and so far its a malfunction. sometimes i have thoughts of suicide but i want to live. i want to be here for my son. i want to leave this world in good terms and be happy for Jesus' second coming.

i feel really lost, confused, hurt and hopeless. i feel like my prayers are not enough. i guess i deserve everything i get for what i've done and ultimately deserve death. some days i wonder if it'd even be a bad thing if i never lived again because some days it feels like giving up is the only solution. but as we all know thats satan whispering into my mind. i dont want to be thinking like that. that is why i am asking for help. i am asking for prayers for not only me but those around me. these times of troubles are definately happening and the only light to it all is that its a sign that our Father has made us a promise and i want to be worthy to see it all and live with Him.

thank you for reading this.
Click to expand...
"Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters." -- PSALM 69:14 (KJV)
​

Very warm greetings, Psalm 69, I am sorry to hear about the problems you are having. I know it must be very rough with your sister ill among other things. But those trials you are undergoing, please know that they are not in vain. Everyone must undergo tough times in their life as even Jesus had to endure the hardest of times. Some circumstances are tougher than others but God would never give you more than you can bear. It may seem like your troubles are insurmountable but it is in facing those troubles, tackling them, and then moving ahead that God looks at. The fact that you have them is actually a blessing as such things are designed to bring you closer to God not further away.

I am not a lawyer, therefore, cannot give you or anyone else legal advice but adoption is a serious undertaking and I have heard of many people who placed their children up for adoption and then tried to get them back but couldn't. Usually the family that adopts them grows very close to 'their' children and it is very hard to get them back therefore, the best bet, imho, would be to get legal counsel, a professional, to inquire further on this.

And no, suicide is Never the answer! Please know and understand that, dearheart! Some may feel that they can't possibly cope anymore but the adversary, the devil, is the one who is making one think that way. God would never put such thoughts in your mind! Do not let satan win! You are surely Stronger than that and whatever the problems, there is usually a good solution though it may not appear right away. That is the trouble with those who committed suicide, an answer is usually found not long after but it is too late for them once they are gone and they don't know the pain and suffering they leave for those left behind who love them. So, no matter how things are going, it should never reach that point, it just isn't worth it!

Since you can't go to church regularly as you say, it would be good to consider saying daily prayers at home and reading your Bible as well as calling a local church that has taped prayers to listen to. In the morning upon rising, during the day, and at bedtime, prayers are recommended. It is not much to ask of you according to God who gave you your life, your son, a place to stay, etc. The LORDS Prayer along with the Twenty-Third Psalm is always recommended. They are powerful prayers to pray.

You mention that you are not baptized. Baptism is very important as Jesus was baptized and wants for all of we Christians to be also. The time to do it is ASAP because one never knows how long they will be here or what could happen in the meantime so one should not delay in doing this. I'm sure that discussing it with your local pastor they would be able to arrange something and perhaps for your son also if he is not baptized either. But don't delay!

"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." -- ACTS OF THE APOSTLES 2:38 (KJV)

"Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and , lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." -- MATTHEW 28: 19-20 (KJV)
​

I will be praying for you and for your sister's healing that all goes well for both of you, and I know others here in the forum will pray for you as well. Things Will get better! But you must fight to get what you rightfully deserve. May God bless you for it and guide you to get ahead in life not only for you but for your precious son.
--------------------------------------
Are you breathing right now and alive?
Then there's real HOPE for you! Don't
give up! Instead, give yourself a real Chance! -- HeavenlyWarrior
 
Last edited:
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#3
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#3
Heavenlywarrior said it all. :)
Huge hugs and you with all you ask are in my prayers in Jesus Christ is Lord.
Welcome to cc psalm69, I look forward to seeing your posts here. :)

Hugs and God bless
pickles
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#4
#4
Oh, sweetie! :(
You poor thing!

First and foremost, I thank God for your child. :)
Children are a gift, according to the word of God. Not a right...but a gift!

If in prayer and seeking after God's will you choose to keep your child, the Lord will equip you to raise him.
I do agree it is prudent to seek legal counsel for often if the birth mom chooses adoption, the biological dad
can say he wants to raise the child.
Just something to think about.

Please know your Father in heaven knows all about what's happening, beloved.
He chose you to have this son, and for you to be where you are right now.
He is intimately involved with you...down to the number of hairs on your head, and that of your son. ♥
I was wondering why you chose Psalm 69 as your screen name, so I just read it again.
David cries out all his heartache to the Lord, and then he says this:


The humble have seen it [God's salvation] and are glad;
You who seek God, let your heart revive. :) For the LORD hears the needy
And does not despise His who are prisoners.
Let heaven and earth praise Him,
The seas and everything that moves in them.
For God will save Zion and build the cities of Judah,
That they may dwell there and possess it.
The descendants of His servants will inherit it,
And those who love His name will dwell in it. (v. 32-36)


Thank God! we do not get what we deserve...we get Jesus. ♥
We have become the righteousness of God in Christ. (2 Cor. 5:21)
We are sealed with the Holy Spirit as a pledge of our inheritance. (2 Cor. 1:22)
When we confess our sins, he forgives them, and purifies us. (1 John 1:9)
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us, and God loved us. (Romans 5:8)
We are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Jesus. (Romans 3:24)
You are a new creation! (2 Cor. 5:17)
God does not remember our sin! (Isaiah 43:25, Hebrews 10:17)


Philippians 3:13 tells us to forget what is behind, and reach forward to what is ahead. :)
I sorrow with you, dear child.
But the Lord made you, and if He can redeem us when we were dead, and fallen, He can redeem our situations, too.
And you are right!
God made you a promise in the person and work of Jesus!
And God keeps ALL His promises. :)


I am in prayer in Jesus for your sister and all those who are ill.
And for your precious little boy.
And for your heart's encouragement.
We are called to look not at the things that pass away, but at that which is eternal.
Fix your eyes on Jesus.
He will never leave you, and never fail you, my dear. ♥


with so much love from another mother's heart,
ellie


 
S

shekaniah

Guest
#5
#5
I agree with the other posts.
I will pray for you and your family too!
Welcome to this awesome site!
Come here for prayer anytime!
Love in Jesus, Shekaniah
 
P

Psalm_69

Guest
#6
#6
Thank you all for your words, your prayers. This was a good reminder. I did some serious thinking last night. if i were to put him up for
adoption. then i thought, no, i am going to keep him. and my heart felt better. i felt more at ease. so i knew from then that this is definately meant to be. he is a wonderful gift. i love him so much, and i knowGod loves his more than i can imagine. He did bless me with ason for a reason. I want the best for him/ so i did some more thinking and thought up aplan. i still have to talk to his father about it and definately pray about it, i will keep my son until he is weened, and once his dad gets a good reliable job and a place of his own, he can take our son and then i can go and do the same and we can just take turns taking care of him. his dad is a good person. we just clash. it just seems being together and trying to make our relationship work is delaying our focus on Jesus. we try but then one of us falls and the other tries to revive with the Word but then we both end up falling. we're not strong enough. its like the blind leading the blind. its impossible.
my sister is strong, havent heard from them yet but she still puts a smile on her face whenever she comes to visit her nephew. she's always cheery.
i've always been the impulsive type. when i feel something strong in my heart i go for it. having a son i cant exactly do things like that anymore. i have to stop and think about it haha.
i thank God for this life and what he has blessed me with. a lot of things that have been happening are probably for the better.

thank you for the scripture reading. i do need to pray often and read throughout the days i am out here. and i know some people out of town that have a baptismal pool. i will have to reconnect with them. i cant wait =)

it was just hard to think of a life being a single mom, his dad and i were very good friends. we still kind of are but we're going through this stage where we fight and blame things on each other. this new lifestyle is taking a toll on what we once were. but who knows maybe the breakup and time apart will be for the better. im definately tired of fighting and the confusion and hurt. i know he is too.

Through Christ I will overcome, and take on these hurdles.
<3
 
F

faithandlove

Guest
#7
#7
Bless you, dear one. My heart is breaking. Am praying.
 
R

riabrooks

Guest
#8
#8
I will pray for you.

Things will get better, keep seeking the Lord. He is faithful.

You are loved <3
 
L

liz247

Guest
#9
#9
I will pray for you, just keep reaching out to God and rest in God's hands. Don't try to work the situation in your way but let God work it out for you, it may take time but know God knows the plans and purposes He has for you and those you love.
 
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