9
911me
Guest
I don't really know how to start this letter. I am a christian and I have accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. The issues that I am having with my husband is his family. To him, he feels that I don't have enough God in me to love them completely, flaws and all. Everything about them that frustrate me builds up and often I find myself not wanting to be around them or not wanting to hear about them.
It all started out when she was living out of her car in Washington. My husband asked me if she could move in with us here in Nevada. For some reason, my spirit or my guts was telling me that it wasn't a good idea. She has 3 other older children and one who has her own apartment also living in Washington. Mind you that the daughter who has her own apartment is single with no kids. Yet, she allows her mother to live in her car. My husband and I just got through a rough journey of forgiveness when I committed infidelity and we just had our first child and a new apartment. We've gotten a 2 bedroom, one for us and one for our daughter. Anyways, I never felt right with her staying with us, I felt that my mother in law and I haven't even gotten a chance to build a strong relationship after the infidelity happened, so she kind of had that thought still in the back of her mind and had to be nice to me because she will be living with us. So here she was, moving in with us. I ONLY agreed because, I didn't want to be the person my husband blames if anything was to happen to her. I felt invaded.
She lived with us for 6mths and we didn't make her pay a single penny. Yet she didn't want to lift a finger to help around the house because she felt that she was "MOM" and she shouldn't have to do anything. She only cooked for herself. The only reason why she moved out was because I became pregnant with our second child and this time, we really needed the second bdrm. She was able to get herself an apartment 5 blocks away from our apartment. Although she was no longer living with us, the frustration continues to build up. There was always an issue, whether she needs money, rides, or someone to gossip with in regards to her other children or people at her job. The gossips that she always brings to my husband always frustrate him and it causes the frustrate me.
3 mths later, my sister in law, (who had her own apartment in Washington) decided to quit her job because she felt she wasn't getting paid enough and wanted to receive unemployment. This caused her to loose her apartment and she also did not qualify to receive unemployment. She too, moved to Nevada. Since my mother in law has her own apartment, that's where she stayed. Months after months, they argue with each other about privacy and would bring my husband into it, frustrating him, then seeing him that way, frustrates me. My mother in law complains that she doesn't pay for anything, yet, she forgets the blessing that she received living with us not paying anything. Finally, my sister in law moved out and got her own apartment. This did not make any sense to me because all they have is each other and they don't want to live with each other. They could have saved so much money and by the end of the year would have saved enough to get a car. It's been a yr and half since my sister in law moved to Nevada and they are still catching the bus. Whenever my mother in law gets off work around 9pm, my husband would get worried about her safety, so he would try to pick her up, or whenever the weather is bad, she gets picked up. I feel that she had no intention of wanting to get a car to help herself because she knows her son in there to help her whenever she needs it. They don't even want to save money together, because they don't want to share the car with each other. I understand the bible preaches on helping one another, but is there a limit? Is there anyway for me to feel like I ONLY have 2 kids and not 4 (including my inlaws). It seems as though, they KNOW, that if anything was to happen (whether they need money or ride), her son is just down the street and a phone call away. She has 2 other sons, older than my husband, yet, she doesn't run to them because they will say no and that they have their own family. Well, what about us? We have our own family too. Why are we any different? Because we live down the street and my husband will always say yes? This is so unfair and it's causing a lot of turmoil in my marriage because he feels that I hate his family and that I don't love them and I feel he doesn't understand me and my feelings. There is so much more, but it would lead to a very, very long letter.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this long letter. I am completely open to whatever your responses may be.
It all started out when she was living out of her car in Washington. My husband asked me if she could move in with us here in Nevada. For some reason, my spirit or my guts was telling me that it wasn't a good idea. She has 3 other older children and one who has her own apartment also living in Washington. Mind you that the daughter who has her own apartment is single with no kids. Yet, she allows her mother to live in her car. My husband and I just got through a rough journey of forgiveness when I committed infidelity and we just had our first child and a new apartment. We've gotten a 2 bedroom, one for us and one for our daughter. Anyways, I never felt right with her staying with us, I felt that my mother in law and I haven't even gotten a chance to build a strong relationship after the infidelity happened, so she kind of had that thought still in the back of her mind and had to be nice to me because she will be living with us. So here she was, moving in with us. I ONLY agreed because, I didn't want to be the person my husband blames if anything was to happen to her. I felt invaded.
She lived with us for 6mths and we didn't make her pay a single penny. Yet she didn't want to lift a finger to help around the house because she felt that she was "MOM" and she shouldn't have to do anything. She only cooked for herself. The only reason why she moved out was because I became pregnant with our second child and this time, we really needed the second bdrm. She was able to get herself an apartment 5 blocks away from our apartment. Although she was no longer living with us, the frustration continues to build up. There was always an issue, whether she needs money, rides, or someone to gossip with in regards to her other children or people at her job. The gossips that she always brings to my husband always frustrate him and it causes the frustrate me.
3 mths later, my sister in law, (who had her own apartment in Washington) decided to quit her job because she felt she wasn't getting paid enough and wanted to receive unemployment. This caused her to loose her apartment and she also did not qualify to receive unemployment. She too, moved to Nevada. Since my mother in law has her own apartment, that's where she stayed. Months after months, they argue with each other about privacy and would bring my husband into it, frustrating him, then seeing him that way, frustrates me. My mother in law complains that she doesn't pay for anything, yet, she forgets the blessing that she received living with us not paying anything. Finally, my sister in law moved out and got her own apartment. This did not make any sense to me because all they have is each other and they don't want to live with each other. They could have saved so much money and by the end of the year would have saved enough to get a car. It's been a yr and half since my sister in law moved to Nevada and they are still catching the bus. Whenever my mother in law gets off work around 9pm, my husband would get worried about her safety, so he would try to pick her up, or whenever the weather is bad, she gets picked up. I feel that she had no intention of wanting to get a car to help herself because she knows her son in there to help her whenever she needs it. They don't even want to save money together, because they don't want to share the car with each other. I understand the bible preaches on helping one another, but is there a limit? Is there anyway for me to feel like I ONLY have 2 kids and not 4 (including my inlaws). It seems as though, they KNOW, that if anything was to happen (whether they need money or ride), her son is just down the street and a phone call away. She has 2 other sons, older than my husband, yet, she doesn't run to them because they will say no and that they have their own family. Well, what about us? We have our own family too. Why are we any different? Because we live down the street and my husband will always say yes? This is so unfair and it's causing a lot of turmoil in my marriage because he feels that I hate his family and that I don't love them and I feel he doesn't understand me and my feelings. There is so much more, but it would lead to a very, very long letter.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this long letter. I am completely open to whatever your responses may be.