Introducing myself, a wanting to believer

[wanting2believe]

Hi,
brothers and sisters in Christ.
Im a 22 soon to be 23.
I am a very shy at first but open to everyone.
I was raised in a thought crown in the streets, but ever since I was young, I always looked for the Lord. Im not going to deny that Ive had some issues with my self because people always make me feel less, yet I try to keep myself composed, but I would be lying if I did not admit that I have a low self esteem.
Ive read the bible a decent amount of times, I have been in many churches. I know it seems bad from my part but I never have really felt God, always limiting my progress in believing in God, always making me reject the idea of God. Honestly I really want to believe, I do my heart wants to believe.
I know its also not related but I feel that without love this life is not worth leaving. I know that I should try my best at finding God's true love, yet if I dont find love of a partner I feel I cant move on in this life. Yes I know I should not blame my procrastination on that but I am being honest, I feel like in order to move forger I need to feel that gap inside my person.
So I pray and cry every night and at a time I even actually hated God and blamed him and hated him for about 1 year til date. Today I made the choice to give myself another try, maybe this time I will reach Gods heart and he can reach mine. I hope he can go inside me and look at what my heart desires and that is to find a true personal mutual love with a nice women, and honestly I want to fill him too. I know I shouldn't go to extremest but I feel that if I were not to find God and this mutual love I wont move on, and end up letting my flesh take over.. and do something dumb.

I am sorry if I took your time but I just needed to say this again. Proof of my heart open up to you fellow brothers and to the Lord, not for the attention but for the hope that maybe the Lord will hear me.

Im really hard headed and so its hard to just believe, I know I hate that about myself but I cant change that. I need proof, I need it, and Im ashamed of it.

Pray for me.

Sincerely Uriel.
http://christianchat.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=683581

 

[shemaiah]

Its cool that you are seeking God again. The bible says in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. You can call out to God anytime and He will hear you, He is always there waiting... He has seen your heart, all you have to do is ask Him in to your heart, and to touch your heart and your life. I will pray for you Uriel. God bless

 

[Canadian36]

Hi,
brothers and sisters in Christ.
Im a 22 soon to be 23.
I am a very shy at first but open to everyone.
I was raised in a thought crown in the streets, but ever since I was young, I always looked for the Lord. Im not going to deny that Ive had some issues with my self because people always make me feel less, yet I try to keep myself composed, but I would be lying if I did not admit that I have a low self esteem.
Ive read the bible a decent amount of times, I have been in many churches. I know it seems bad from my part but I never have really felt God, always limiting my progress in believing in God, always making me reject the idea of God. Honestly I really want to believe, I do my heart wants to believe.
I know its also not related but I feel that without love this life is not worth leaving. I know that I should try my best at finding God's true love, yet if I dont find love of a partner I feel I cant move on in this life. Yes I know I should not blame my procrastination on that but I am being honest, I feel like in order to move forger I need to feel that gap inside my person.
So I pray and cry every night and at a time I even actually hated God and blamed him and hated him for about 1 year til date. Today I made the choice to give myself another try, maybe this time I will reach Gods heart and he can reach mine. I hope he can go inside me and look at what my heart desires and that is to find a true personal mutual love with a nice women, and honestly I want to fill him too. I know I shouldn't go to extremest but I feel that if I were not to find God and this mutual love I wont move on, and end up letting my flesh take over.. and do something dumb.

I am sorry if I took your time but I just needed to say this again. Proof of my heart open up to you fellow brothers and to the Lord, not for the attention but for the hope that maybe the Lord will hear me.

Im really hard headed and so its hard to just believe, I know I hate that about myself but I cant change that. I need proof, I need it, and Im ashamed of it.

Pray for me.

Sincerely Uriel.

I hear where you're coming from my friend. I'll try and just mention a few things that might offer some light on what your going through.

First every believer has at some point wrestled with there faith. Like God isn't going to show up at your door step, knock and say "hi I'm Jesus lets be friends" and he then shows you the universe. If that were to happen no one would need any faith at all. Instead he talks to us using subtle cues. Like in a dream, in a strange random thought, in a small still voice like your intuition, or your conscious. Much of this is him showing up.

As for love, if you seek love you'll never find it. If you go out and give love to someone and love them then it will show up. You have to learn to love yourself too. Some of that is as simple as starting a positive inner dialog like saying "Im have a lot of good qualities (then list them)" or something.

Yes pray to him for a wife. That's fine but say you pray for a wife. Someone might come knocking at your door. More likely though you'll have to go out and find her. You're young so you got a lot going for you, you should easily be able to get out there and meet someone. You're waiting for the bus. YOu see a good looking girl. It's like "wow this bus is taking forever, have you been waiting here long?" or whatever. Something to start some conversation. Then just ask for her number. It honestly is that simple.

The key is not to wait around wondering, over thinking, stressing stuff. Don't think, just get out there and work on building your relationship with God as well as working toward the goals you have set up for your life. So if you want to find a girl, how many numbers have you gotten, and how dates have you gone on this week? Not, Why hasn't God showed up at my door with a list of former ms universes and there numbers. Real life doesn't work like that. If you want something to happen go get it. Put some work in. Do something!!! Then God seeing you're taking some effort might decide, "okay this person is serious so I'll bless them". But if you sit on your butt don't blame God if nothing happens and no super model shows up at your door step.

Also it says "seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you." So I'd work on that first and formost. You're just coming off a 1 yr thing of wavering. So you need to get firmly rooted again. Get into the bible, prayer, meeting Christians and going to church. Remember when it comes to love, your goals, your relationship with God, it's about what you can "give" first and foremost not what you can get. But when you give, you shall receive that's a guarantee!

Dear lord please help this person. Thank you Jesus. Amen

Also check this out if you're trying to rebuild your faith. Look at his amazing creation!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t6DBWL5FdU

 

[shekaniah]

prayers sent...
God will honor your open and honest heart...
Keep on seeking Him!

 

[Lucy68]

Brother, whoever seeks the Lord, WILL find Him. Keep believing that. This fallen world can make it hard sometimes...but it is NOT impossible. I will pray for you that the demon influences that are keeping you from trusting in Him completely will be bound up and tossed away.

Your desire for a mate is completely natural...God put that desire in you and understands it better than you do He may be working on you right now to prepare you for that very special person ....for example, I've found that you can't really love someone else, until you love yourself (not in a narcisstic way). Plus, the Spirit may be urging you to get into God's Word and to find a local body of believers. His Grace is available to you in both these ways. Grab them and hold on to them!

When we seek God's kingdom FIRST, all of our other heart's desires are met. It's pretty neat the way it works...Our God is very smart

 

[Lucy68]

One of the most powerful prayers in the Bible is " Lord, help my unbelief". Sometimes we fail to realize that we can ask for help in wanting to ask for help

He can fill us with the desire that our heart wants, but our head is rebelling against.

 

[pickles]

Welcome and God bless you!
You are inmy prayers in Jesus for all you ask.
But consider, that God may still be making ready the person he has for you, so rest in Jesus, and let His finish His work.
Im sure you wont wait too long.

God bless
pickles

 

[Keenen]

Hello. I will gladly pray for you. I'm am just like you. I went through the same ordeal. I am "shy". I thought that I needed a girlfriend to complete me and make me feel better. No one can truly give you happiness but the Lord. I was angry with God because I didn't feel him around me. I even felt suicidal because the gril didn't like me. What helped me was that I started to talk to God. Talk to him. I know that at first it will seem like he's not there. But after a while you will start to feel him around you. I know that I do and it feels very peaceful. I see that you have problems with being unsure if you are saved or not. Just have faith and trust in the Lord and you will be saved. It's as simple as that! I also added you as a friend that we may talk to each other about your problems and I hope that I can be of help to you. Hope this help. Stay strong in the Lord, keep praying to him no matter what it seems to do, and start to talk to him.