T
hello everyone; i just wanted to take a minute to introduce myself, but i tend to run on so it could me more like a few minutes, i apologize ahead of time, lol. so, i am 44 years old and recently remarried. my husband is a truck driver and i travel the eastcoast with him and do the paperwork and enjoy the scenery. to give you a little background and why i go by 'twicefallen' now... i can't really remember a time when i didn't know Jesus, but familiarity breeds laziness sometimes and i became 'lazy' to the point where i fell a long way down before i even noticed how far i had fallen. the first fall. i found my way back but things weren't the way they were before, and then tragedy struck. in 2007 my 12 year old daughter was picked up to go babysit for a family friend, he took her somewhere else and in the end murdered her. i was angry for a very long time, for about three years i spent a lot of time screaming my anger at God, saying things that i am so ashamed of now, thank God for his grace eh? that was the second fall. but then one sunday afternoon while we were waiting at a factory to get our truck loaded we said hello to the truck driver next to us, he got out of his truck, came over to speak to us and the first question he asked us was " so did you go to church today?" and that led to a five hour conversation about God and where we were in our walk with him at that point. i told him my 'story' and in the end he asked me ' so how long are you going to let the enemy win?' that got my attention. and turned my thinking around. i had been screaming alot of questions at God and not getting any answers. i think i wasn't ready to hear them because i wasn't ready to hear Him. finally i was able to pray again and read the Bible again, and i started getting answers to my questions..."where were you when she was all alone on that hill that night?" and he spoke to my spirit and said "she was not alone, i was right there walking beside her, holding her hand". and when i asked "why did this happen?" He said "that you may comfort others with the comfort you have received from me". and when i told him "no one understands my pain", He said " my son, my beloved child, he too was murdered. I know your pain." and that was such a major turn around for me. i am on the right road once more, and no longer angry at God. i know that Shyanne waits for me and that i will see her agian and spend all of eternity with her. i know great pain because i know great love. i loved her unconditionaly, and that helps me to know Gods unconditional love, which i wouldn't have really understood otherwise. i know peace now because i know Jesus is always with me. i know the only way that i remained sane through her death and murder trial afterwards was because God has something tremendous planned for me, and that he will use these things to bring comfort to others who feel that no one understands what they are going through. God brings something good out of the harshest things. At first i couldn't see that, but now the shadows are shifting and i'm seeing some light from all of this. so... that's me in a nutshell i guess. hope to hear from you all, and God Bless...
