Just asking for a little encouragement

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Cari99

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I have a problem. In fact, I have lots of problems, but I won't get into that :) . Anyway, I have a roommate, actually technically I have two roommates. I got into a situation a year ago, where I ended up living with a couple who are not married. It would be worse if they were Christians. However, I did it because my friend said they were going to get married in the summer, but then things happened and she got cold feet. Yet, they are still together. Of course, I should have known better, but I desperately wanted to live with a good friend I already knew. So, here I am, stuck. And I'm laying all this down because it's my friend's boyfriend that is making me feel like the worst Christian to ever walk the face of the Earth. I mean, I feel like that most of the time already, but he sure makes it worse. Our personalities are polar opposites, we clash and disagree on everything, and I've had numerous debates involving Christianity with him. Yes, I know that I have, in the past (not that I've particularly improved much), relied too much on my own strength. And trust me, I feel sick and weary after so many of my conversations with him. I don't know what to do, other than pray of course. I would appreciate any encouragement.
 
why are you letting him mess with your head?

I'm sorry I would say words of encouragement but they would sound empty because I'm not sure what the problem is.

How can a non Christian make you feel less like a Christian? Does he misquote the Bible and use it to condemn you instead of encourage and uplift you? Does he point out passages where you don't meet the standards?

which tactic does he use most? the one where he tells you that you need to do miracles and fulfill the lusts of your flesh (turn stone into bread) and follow the world?

Or does he try and get you to jump off a mountain and ridicule you when you don't? remember to tell him what Jesus told Satan in the desert

Luke 4
12 And Jesus answered and said to him, “It has been said, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’ ”[i]




Don't be discouraged, read and pray alone with out his lies and whispering. go to church and find a support group and maybe make new Christian friends to uplift and encourage you, instead of abuse or allow their boyfriend's to psychologically abuse you.



Personally I would move out and get my own apartment if possible as soon as possible.
 
Christian life is long suffering. Your friend doesn't see what you see or hear what you hear then that is his loss & the reason why he disagrees. If he cares so much about faith then why doesn't he test God for himself?

Do not condemn yourself because you are not for yourself to judge. Have faith with all your heart with all your mind & with all your might. Youre problems are supposed to be presented & given faithfully to your Lord & Savior.

Love is the answer! Patience & prudence are always important when speaking to people like your friend here. In my point of view: we're all children with big egos because we "grew up". The Lord always gives answers.
 
Can you leave the situation?
You know how it is with lovers and best friends.
Two completely different dynamics.
He might try to clash with you because he is jealous of the philos-(friendship), that you have with his girlfriend.
If you lived in a different place it would drastically abate because he
wouldn't be competing for her time against you.
I'm not saying the guy isn't a complete jerk, I'm just saying the dynamics sound bad for you - living with lovers.
 
Well, MrHonest, judging by your name, I would assume you to be very honest. Well, when I get close to someone (friendship) I become a bit too honest and perhaps impatient and all those wonderful characteristics that I despise show up, especially when we disagree about everything. That's what makes me feel like the worst Christian. However, I am stuck in this situation until next spring. I definitely feel like his heart is hardened against God as well, and that's one of our major clashes. We don't see eye to eye on anything.

RickShafer, I've known him now for over a year, so I know that all this strife is caused by personality and Christianity rather than jealousy. In fact, his relationship with my friend hasn't been going too well lately (and I attribute that to the fact that he NEEDS God very, very badly)
 
To me the problem isn't your living situation. Its your boyfriend. I'd rather live with a non-Christian couple not married than put up with the junk your boyfriend is giving you. He sounds quite judgmental and demanding. You'd be better off getting rid of him and his borderline abusive behavior. And there is a strong likelihood if you were to marry this bozo, he'll become more critical, demanding and judgmental. Perhaps even blatantly verbally abusive. He sounds like he's on the track for that behavior. I'd get as far away from him as i could.
I know you were hoping for more encouragement and it may seem i didn't provide that, but in essence i did. I am offering you advice to try to get you out of a bad relationship that shows potential to get even worse. This way you have a chance at finding a real man, who has some compassion and understanding, and that you can get encouragement FROM instead of having to go to others to get encouragement to counter his attacks.
 
I'm not sure you read everything. He's my friend's boyfriend. However, I am living with them both. And he is driving me crazy. But he's not abusive, he just makes me depressed. However, he doesn't do this intentionally.
 
it reads to me like you have two issues:
your housemates are living together and have cold feet about marriage. and this is important how? since they are not professing to be Christians, and under Federal Law you are officially married at 3 years (if I remember right) - count down to 3 years and throw a bbq to surprise them with! (some states are shorter as well as longer in the number of years required)

The boyfriend is being a bully. Tell him to back off.
 
Cari99 said:
I have a problem. In fact, I have lots of problems, but I won't get into that :) . Anyway, I have a roommate, actually technically I have two roommates. I got into a situation a year ago, where I ended up living with a couple who are not married. It would be worse if they were Christians. However, I did it because my friend said they were going to get married in the summer, but then things happened and she got cold feet. Yet, they are still together. Of course, I should have known better, but I desperately wanted to live with a good friend I already knew. So, here I am, stuck. And I'm laying all this down because it's my friend's boyfriend that is making me feel like the worst Christian to ever walk the face of the Earth. I mean, I feel like that most of the time already, but he sure makes it worse. Our personalities are polar opposites, we clash and disagree on everything, and I've had numerous debates involving Christianity with him. Yes, I know that I have, in the past (not that I've particularly improved much), relied too much on my own strength. And trust me, I feel sick and weary after so many of my conversations with him. I don't know what to do, other than pray of course. I would appreciate any encouragement.
Click to expand...
it is very stressful if you truly do believe that Jesus is God and you have turned to Him in love and turned from your sins to be living with nonchristians no matter who they are as they hate Christ who is in us whether they say they do or not and are in opposition to God..that is why when God says do not be unequally yoked to nonbelievers He is including and close association such as sharing the same living space..try and find another place to live before you are traumatized by too much stress...try and get with real Christians or else by yourself...you will not believe how healing peace and quiet and tranquility can be
 
chip said:
it reads to me like you have two issues:
your housemates are living together and have cold feet about marriage. and this is important how? since they are not professing to be Christians, and under Federal Law you are officially married at 3 years (if I remember right) - count down to 3 years and throw a bbq to surprise them with! (some states are shorter as well as longer in the number of years required)

The boyfriend is being a bully. Tell him to back off.
Click to expand...

You aren't officially married, I believe it is called 'common law' which isn't the same thing - legally. Anyways that's just semantics. What the OP should do is move out once the lease is up, and find a new place to live their friend that they have been waiting to move in with. Until then i believe it may be grin and bear it and avoid religious talks as much as possible if that is a point of conflict. You won't change his mind and he won't change yours, thus let bygones be bygones. Is that a saying?
 
I agree with Grand Optimist grin and bear it and let them see the love of The Lord shine through you. Have faith that this is only a test and you will make it through. Mostly pray for both your friend and her boyfriend that they will come to know The Lord.
 
I don't quite get the officially married thing. I mean, in God's eyes they would be married simply by living together, but legally there is no commitment or marriage in the world's eyes. But, yeah, I know I just need to spend a lot of time in prayer for them. One good thing is, my friend has started going to church with me. I just pray that she continues. Of course, as I said, her boyfriend appears hardened against God and is not trying to even understand Christianity.
 
O.K. - I'll take your word for it, all the strife is caused by personality and christianity and not jealousy.
But I still don't understand what good it is doing for you to basically be living in the same house as a sexually active
couple.
Don't you see the conflict?
It's like trying to graft an orange stem onto an apple tree seedling.........it doesn't work!
 
You need to get out of there. If an environment is making you sick, the best course of action is to get out of that environment. Do that, then once out you'll be better situated to deal with them.
 
Well, unfortunately I am on a lease. I have to remain where I am until next spring. I just think God needs to change their hearts.
 
Get them to buy you out.
Or, if that can't be done; pray that God sends you a male companion
to stand up for you when he's visiting. - ( I'm sorry that's all I got)
 
"God, in Jesus name I stand before you, I lift Cari before you and seek Your will in this situation. I pray that just as the fishes mouth held the needed coin, that Cari be provided the means by which to remove herself from the situation, and that her removal therefrom brings a witness and a word to all involved. And I claim these things in Jesus Name".


In order to establish this by two or more witnesses, please like this if you pray the same.
 
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