Lonely Single Mom

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angelrn

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Hi, I'm Heather. I'm a single mom of 2. I find myself getting lonely at times, especially around the holidays. Most of my family is out of state so holidays and birthdays are spent alone as none of us can afford to travel. Sometimes even the day to day gets hard because I crave adult interaction. Making and keeping friends is so hard. I have a few close friends but we go several months or more without seeing each other because they are busy with their jobs, kids, boyfriends, etc. I only work 3 days a week so I have a lot of time. I joined a new church hoping to make new friends but its harder than I thought. I wanted to join one of the smaller groups within the church but I don't fit into any of them. One is for young families and I'm not exactly young and my family is broken, the others that are for woman I'm sure I would fit into but they don't allow kids and don't offer childcare and I always have at least 1 of my girls with me. I am thinking about asking the Pastor about starting a group for single parents as it seems to be an unfortunate norm in society. I'm afriad I will be shot down since I'm new to the church, but what would it hurt to ask, right? I hope I find my happy place soon so this loneliness goes away.

Thanks for listening.
 
Welcome to CC...

The Church, which is the Body of Christ and not a building is a family, God's Family...I am surprised that the members of this new church you are attending are not making an effort to make you feel welcome and at home...especially with the circumstances you are in!

(Just as a digression, on occasions I have visited churches where no one has spoken to me when I have arrived, during the service or afterwards, which I find completely unacceptable as Christianity is all about family, friendship and fellowship (Greek: koinonia), yet a lot of churches I have visited fall down terribly on this most basic of civilities; when this happened I don't generally bother going back to it.)

I would certainly ask the Pastor about the idea you have, if he is a half decent one, he should seriously consider it with a view to seeing if others would be interested in it. If he shoots you down, that is NOT the church for you, as a Pastor should never do that kind of thing in these circumstances. A Pastor should care for the flock (that is in his charge) with the same kind of love and affection that the Lord Jesus uses...

Yahweh Shalom...
 
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm ignored at church. Everyone is very kind and always stops to say hi. The church is big though, so I rarely see the same person twice. This can make it difficult to make new friends.
 
Keep praying for friends. God won't leave you comfortless.

"If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it... I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." - John 14:14, 18 KJV
 
Hi angelrn,

I can understand your plight, for I was a single parent a number of years ago. My children and I started going to a new church, and after I was there for a few months I approached my pastor about starting a ministry for single adults and single parents. He was very open to the idea and he asked me to submit a proposal. Two other single parents and I began bathing the idea in prayer, asking God for guidance on how to structure the ministry. I then presented the proposal, and the Lord allowed me to develop a flourishing ministry for about five years until He led me elsewhere. The ministry is still going strong under the new leadership.

After you have been at this new church for a little while, your pastor may be open to the idea of your starting a single parents ministry there just like my pastor was to me. Sometimes pastors are a bit hesitant to allow people who are new to the church to lead a group or ministry because they don't know the new person (is that person a Christian, is that person committed or do they church-hop, etc.), and many leaders have had people come in and start something only to quit a month or two down the road. Starting a ministry is hard work that takes lots prayer, commitment, and diligence, and once your pastor knows you and your commitment level, the doors might be wide open for you. :)

I'll be praying for you for God's guidance and favor and that you are able to cultivate some meaningful friendships at your church.
 
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hi AngelRN
I have a friend, offline, going through the same thing. She craves adult interaction but a single mother has a hard time fitting in, even at church.
I'm not a single parent, but i am in a situation where i don't get to get out much and have no friends here. But get involved on here, i've met some awesome people on here and am so thankful for them. Though they aren't people i can physically be with, some i've exchanged emails with, or we go and do chats on cam, or even exchange numbers. So thats helped 'flesh out' the friendships a little.
I suggest trying the chats, they can sometimes be a little work, and yes, though this is a Christian site, there are plenty of problematic people as well, just have to learn to sift through them is all. Patience helps. (=
Anyways, i'm always happy to have new friends, so feel free to contact me, or say hi if you come to chats. I don't bite, just nibble. haha.
 
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