Lost and depressed

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johnroe

Guest
#1
#1
Hi, I'm kinda worried because everyday my life seems so miserable. I'm one of the people in our church 3 years ago who enjoyed life A LOT. But now, I can't tell If I still have my real life that I wanted to be. I moved from my town to work in another city so that I can help my family specially my dad who's having illness that time but he's now deceased. Courage, hope, lots of plans and helping my family are first in the list when moving to this place but everything was changed. I met a girl in a ferry going to my work place knowing that she's also starting her job in my company. We discussed many things and decided to work as a team for we are strangers or perhaps new to the place. For 2 weeks during our training and going back to the hotel where we stayed ( but separate rooms ), we are both comfortable as a friend. Suddenly both our plans was changed after 2 weeks because we're about to separate ways and find a place to rent for good but she confronted me and asked if we could just stay together, so I said it's fine. After several months, because of how she treats me or let's just say that she's GOOD as a friend and companion, I felt different but I'm keeping it to my self because I don't wanna destroy our friendship. Jealousy came when she told me that she likes my friend ( who's actually married and having an affair with another girl ) and I warned her about it but she didn't listen. I continued admiring her though she's always with my friend and I still kept the friendship. Months past and my stupidity is still killing me, until they broke up with my friend when she knew about the other girl. I was with her all the time cheering her up.
5 months after, something happened to us and it continues for a year and she got pregnant. We both took our responsibilities and welcomed our baby boy last year. The WORST and PAINFUL part is that she never admitted any relationship for the both of us and she still treated me as a FRIEND. I courted her for 2 years but nothing happens and she starts searching for another guy that fits her likes. I felt DOWN and REJECTED everyday because she never cares about me. She's happy when I got my salary so that she can buy things that she wanted and I'm not helping anymore my family because all my money goes to the baby and to her WANTS. I was so blind about everything and when I don't have this wealth, she just go with her friends and hang out. She promised me a lot but I never received neither 1 of them. The GREATEST REGRET I made was when my dad ask me to buy him a nebulizer but I never did because she needs the money. After 3 months, my dad died and I keep blaming myself for not buying him a SIMPLE and CHEAP machine that could probably extends his life. Now, I lost my job and I'm nothing. I still have credits and I can't pay it. I had all this credits because of her and I even don't have something for my self. Now, she even don't care about me. I only ate once a day and I didn't receive any single help from her. I'm now totally LOST, taking prohibited drugs, smoke and stupidity. I want my life back and forget her. PLEASE....I really need your help. Help me back on track.
 
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johnroe

Guest
#3
#3
Hi AnandaHya,

I'm so much THANKFUL and BLESSED knowing a person like you. It's just that I can't help my self and I'm always scared.
 
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Shield

Guest
#4
#4
Its true that you can't do it, this is why Paul says "I can do all things... through [Christ] who strengthens me".

You can't rationalize out of fear. It is perfect love that cast our fear (1 John 4:18).

You can't find security in others' acceptance and you can't medicate the pain away, you have to draw closer to God. You can't dwell on your plans but lay them before God and make his glory your plan in life.

Finding a good Godly community in your area is critical and should help you take these steps.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#5
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#5
Stop giving her all of your money to spend. You say she only buys things that she wanted. You need to learn to say NO to her. Please do yourself a favor and use condoms from now on because you do not want another child with her, and she doesn't sound like someone I would trust with birth control. No offense meant.

What I'm afraid might happen is she will leave you for another man and either leave your son with you or take him with her.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#6
#6
John Rowe I just want you to know that God loves you with all his heart and you are calling out to ask for help. We, of course, hear your words said, but the neat thing is so doesGod hear your cries. by doing this. I just want you to know that God cares for us and loves it when we call on Him. It says that God wants us to call on Him in scripture in so many ways. Seek and ye shall find, and, knock and the door shall be opened. Sounds like you are being yiven the chance NOW to really draw close to God and if you do that and still plow forth in your lfe as it is now for you, in debt, without girl you treated right, AND God will show you a NEW way with new grace, and, mercy, too, which is new for us every morning. May you go forth with deep prayer, asking God what He wants to do next in your life. PRAY that you can hear, God will help you, you will be blessed for this faith you show God. :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#7
#7
John Rowe don't be feeling bad about being scared because God wants us to fear doing things not of His ways, ways that can be found so readily in scripture in the bible. this is what God says in Isaiah 66 verse two.:
This is the one whom I esteem, someone who is contrite and trembles at my Word.
 
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ChubbyMac

Guest
#8
#8
forgot what verse in the Bible it is but it says there that Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will rise again. Honestly, I think you are being stupid for giving in to that girl of yours. obviously she is manipulating you (for lack of a better term) and using your baby to get what she wants. sorry dude but I don't approve of a girl who is like that and she is not worth marrying. another thing, MAN UP! you are the one who supposed to wear the pants in any relationships. for goodness sake! you're a MAN!!! proverbs 31 discusses wife of a noble character. does she fit into that? wake up and smell the coffee.. don't waste your young precious life on a leech of a woman. I am a Christian and I love God but I don't approve of a woman who does that wicked stuff and it make me mad that you are stupid enough to fall for that pathetic excuse of a woman. Get a good Christian girl who will not abuse you, dedicate your life to God and find your happiness in His presence.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#9
ChubbyMac said:
forgot what verse in the Bible it is but it says there that Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will rise again. Honestly, I think you are being stupid for giving in to that girl of yours. obviously she is manipulating you (for lack of a better term) and using your baby to get what she wants. sorry dude but I don't approve of a girl who is like that and she is not worth marrying. another thing, MAN UP! you are the one who supposed to wear the pants in any relationships. for goodness sake! you're a MAN!!! proverbs 31 discusses wife of a noble character. does she fit into that? wake up and smell the coffee.. don't waste your young precious life on a leech of a woman. I am a Christian and I love God but I don't approve of a woman who does that wicked stuff and it make me mad that you are stupid enough to fall for that pathetic excuse of a woman. Get a good Christian girl who will not abuse you, dedicate your life to God and find your happiness in His presence.
Click to expand...
Yea, what she said.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
First of all...GO CHUBBYMAC!!! AWESOME! :)

Secondly, PUT THE DRUGS DOWN! They are stealing you and your money from your son. You say you just lost YOUR father and you know how YOU feel. What about YOUR child???? Are you putting your child's needs first or your own? What if God treated US like that????

Thirdly, stop being a slave to a woman who is clearly presently incapable of doing the things God requires of a woman in a relationship: fidelity, respect for her man and submission to his counsel.

You are a father now and you definitely need to man up. You are accountable to God for the way you raise your son. Know that. It wouldn't hurt for you to let the child's mother know that as well. Kids need PARENTS, be one in more than name only. Do everything you can to see that your child is cared for and taught godly ways. If you don't know how to do that, get some help now before your child's life is messed up too.

I know this sounds harsh, but I think straight, clear headed talk is what you need right now. And heed zero's post above, do NOT bring another child into the world with this woman, not for your sake only, but for the child's. It may not seem like it, but this was written with godly love for you as a brother in Christ and especially for your innocent child. :)
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#11
#11
I re-read my post (above) and it is pretty harsh. I would still say the same thing to you because it is truly from my heart, but maybe in a way that was a little more kind. :) We're not judging you, brother. We just care..alot.

God bless you. I do hope and pray that you are truly seeking the hand of God in your circumstances.
 
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