You never know what love is until you have it and then it slips away from you. That's how love usually works. I keep messing things up with guys and I wish I could learn how to not seem so easy and needy. I guess I am just used to having a boyfriend all the time since I had Riley...James...and Jes to my utmost advantage every single day. I would be around them more often than my friends and family. I feel that I am missing the whole point about love though...Christ wants us to love others as we love ourselves. Truth is? I don't exactly love myself if that makes any sense. I don't love my body, I don't love my heart, and I don't love that I have been through Hell with relationships and what not. All that happens to me is that I get stepped on and treated like crap when guys become exclusive with me. I always seem to screw it up with dating guys like I have with other good guys in the past. I feel like Barney Stenson but in girl form...haha. I feel LEGEN...wait for it....
I also feel super duper awesome! It feels good to start taking care of myself by going and tanning...keeping my nails, skin and hair healthy...and being motivated to go and work out. I have always wanted to have a body like a model...and I know I can get to that extent if I just go out and exercise and not be such a fat lardo who sits on the couch and watches Castaway with a bag of Doritos bawling my eyes out lol. If people truly saw who I really was, they would think, "Holy cow, I can't believe there is someone who exists that does this stuff all the time!" I'm not saying I sit on the couch all the time, but c'mon people! You know you do it too when you just got off an EXHAUSTING eight hour shift that made you be on your feet all day and you just want to sit down for one second.
My job is so exhausting, but it is sometimes very rewarding. Every now and then I get residents who come up to me and tell me thank you for taking care of them and giving them their medicine on time. Being a CMT is definitely hard work...and I do like my job just a little bit. It has its moments most definitely. That is certainly true love though when you go out of your way for people to do something nice for them. My job consists of that everyday. It's not like a job at some fast food restaurant. It's giving care to others that makes my job awesome. Yeah, it's very confidential and hard to keep secret...but sometimes I like to vent out loud in my car about my day because I don't have anybody to vent to about it.
Oh and the LEGEN thing I wrote a little while ago? I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the last part of that word is -DARY!!
Peace out Boys and Girls Scouts.
I also feel super duper awesome! It feels good to start taking care of myself by going and tanning...keeping my nails, skin and hair healthy...and being motivated to go and work out. I have always wanted to have a body like a model...and I know I can get to that extent if I just go out and exercise and not be such a fat lardo who sits on the couch and watches Castaway with a bag of Doritos bawling my eyes out lol. If people truly saw who I really was, they would think, "Holy cow, I can't believe there is someone who exists that does this stuff all the time!" I'm not saying I sit on the couch all the time, but c'mon people! You know you do it too when you just got off an EXHAUSTING eight hour shift that made you be on your feet all day and you just want to sit down for one second.
My job is so exhausting, but it is sometimes very rewarding. Every now and then I get residents who come up to me and tell me thank you for taking care of them and giving them their medicine on time. Being a CMT is definitely hard work...and I do like my job just a little bit. It has its moments most definitely. That is certainly true love though when you go out of your way for people to do something nice for them. My job consists of that everyday. It's not like a job at some fast food restaurant. It's giving care to others that makes my job awesome. Yeah, it's very confidential and hard to keep secret...but sometimes I like to vent out loud in my car about my day because I don't have anybody to vent to about it.
Oh and the LEGEN thing I wrote a little while ago? I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the last part of that word is -DARY!!
Peace out Boys and Girls Scouts.