Marriage / Depression

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Kels44

Guest
#1
Hello, I'm new here also. Seeking marriage / depression help.
 
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Jewliah

Guest
#2
Hi Kels44! How can we help?
 
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Kels44

Guest
#3
I've been married 27 years to my husband. It's like he's living a second childhood. He's been doing this for the past 6+ years. He had the same job for 20 yrs., and at the age of 39 decided to join the military. Then decided to quit his job and go to school full time. After I helped him through school, he now wants to hang out with young people, ride bike trails (in other towns) and seems to be planning this next "play date". Of course, I'm still left out. Twice he said he was moving out (last time was few months ago). He's still home. We tried counseling a few weeks ago, but I felt the counselor was about divorce and not saving our marriage. I told him how I felt and again re-iterated going to a Christian counselor. That's not yet happened. I'm so down and depressed and cannot continue this world of chaos and don't know what to do.
 
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Jewliah

Guest
#4
First of all girl, you CAN continue! You can do it. Fight for this marriage! Do you go to church? You can counsel with someone there or find a church to get counsel. Secondly, what is keeping you from being "childlike" with your husband. Exercising would actually help you with depression and dealing with this. He wants to be active so why not join him. Or find something new to do together! Ask him what you could do. I have been there and believe me it is better to work on what you already have, because everyone has issues! Learn to love and respect each other again! If you want to pm me you are welcome to. I'm off to bed, but will check in on you later. Take care and remember that God loves you! You are His precious child!

p.s. Get yourself some niacin. It helps with depression and anxiety. Just read up about it, because taking too much can make you sick (it can also make you flush). Try 50 ml 3x a day for a week then go to 2x and then take it only when you need it. That is my personal recommendation, but do some research for yourself.
 
Feb 16, 2011
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#5
Jesus died for marriage sins is one thing to remember. Jesus healed my marriage. My wife and I were seperated but God brought us back together. We both say God kept us from divorce.
 

shemaiah

Senior Member
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
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#6
Many important things have already been said, all I want to say is sometimes in marriage you just have to forget about yourself for sometime and try learning more and understanding more about your spouse so that you can fit in each others worlds... God bless
 
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Kimmee

Guest
#7
Oh wow been there and done that and in the end my marriage ended. Get help for you. Mort Fertal has a wonderful book. I highly recommend reading it. You can and will get through this. God is so good.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
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#8
I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through! Is he willing at all to work on the marriage?

Jewliah had a good idea about building on the things you have in common. Do any of his activities interest you? Maybe once he sees you trying, he'll be willing to try...and eventually agree to go to counseling.

Is he a Christian?

Do you attend a church? Maybe you could go to counseling yourself even if he doesn't. A support system would really help you right now.
Bible reading and prayer will give you a definite boost ...even if you don't feel like it, please do it :)

I'll pray for you and your husband
 
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Miagey86

Guest
#9
When my wife said she wanted to divorce me, I started to search on the internet for some help. i could only find one book that is about stopping your divorce. It didn't actually help me, as my wife gave me back her ring last night. the book is called Stop your divorce by homer McDonnald. You might not be in the same situation, but do your self a favor and get the book. it helped me a lot to get soem "get up and go". I think it would help you a lot to.
 
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jimsun

Guest
#10
Hi Kels;
Please take heed of Jewliah's thoughts & advice.
I feel you both have to get together & not just tell how you both feel but listen to one another.
With a mediator of some ilk, there the foundations will be laid to rebuild on what you both obviously feel has been mislaid; not lost.
God bless; J+
 
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shirley

Guest
#11
im married for 37 yrs im sorry to hear what your going through i can relate to it ive suffered from depression for yrs my husband he understands it but you know i feel he dont want me why he dont show me affection love romance hes not intani mate dosnt respond to nothing sometimes i cry myself to sleep wondering if i really belong here we married very young i was 16 he was 21 it was a rescue marriage to take me from a abusive homelife i had he was an alcholic didnt know it when we married my father raped n abused me thats why i married so young anyway he beat me too when we were first married he doesnt anymore but now he mentally abuses me anyway thats why i understand what does anyone do in that situation i cant go on feeling like this conseling is not helping i pray things work out for kels
 
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Jewliah

Guest
#12
im married for 37 yrs im sorry to hear what your going through i can relate to it ive suffered from depression for yrs my husband he understands it but you know i feel he dont want me why he dont show me affection love romance hes not intani mate dosnt respond to nothing sometimes i cry myself to sleep wondering if i really belong here we married very young i was 16 he was 21 it was a rescue marriage to take me from a abusive homelife i had he was an alcholic didnt know it when we married my father raped n abused me thats why i married so young anyway he beat me too when we were first married he doesnt anymore but now he mentally abuses me anyway thats why i understand what does anyone do in that situation i cant go on feeling like this conseling is not helping i pray things work out for kels
Shirley I'm so sorry for what you have gone through in the past and for what you are going through now. I will pray for you. You too keep praying and seeking God! He is an amazing healer! Pray for your husband! Keep your eyes on God and you will be alright!