marriage in confussion

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rexy

Guest
#1
#1
I am in a situation which is very difficult and very confusing too.

I am marriage by any name but does not live with my husband. I am under attack since my marriage has so many loopholes. WE are separated by employment and my husband has had one affair after the other. Our culture does not allow divorce. Marriage is supposed to last beyond all odds. As a christian, my church does not allow divorce also.

As a woman, we are made to believe we are to blame if anything goes wrong in our marriages. I cannot continue this way, I have to gather myself and move on. I have my children to take care of and to inspire in life. I sometimes feel so low, other times I need to speak to someone who would understand me and just help me and assist me during this period. This is the main reason I joined CC to chat, laugh, be encouraged and to encourage. I feel better already writing this.

He is still very loving to the kids and he calls them everyday. They love him so much and Am encouraged to see them depending on each other for almost everything. They call it boys talk. Its me who has a problem, who is lonely ....

I wonder if its normal but there are times I feel like being loved (casually not sexual), talking to a someone special mostly a man who does not make passes but just a friend. I am also enjoying ladies who are strong, outgoing and funny.

So far, I am putting alot of my energy in community work especially to children with extreme poverty. I Thank God I am not empty since I have the Word of God which conforts and encourages me. I know I am very strong and very outgoing. But those moment are there.
 
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Redeemed79

Guest
#2
#2
Hi there, not too qualified to comment on this but thought id chat to you anyways.....Is your husband a professing Christian? Which culture is it you are in? I'm not from a restrictive culture and Im not married. I am a christian with a non believing partner however and when i became a christan i had people tell me I had to leave my partner as not be unevenly yoked and because were not married! I just thought..WOW...so much for wanting to win Him to Christ! and how understanding that would make me look. (um I know weve been together 14yrs and we have a 13yr old and we still love each other but I must leave you???
It hasn't been that bad though, there are times I wish we cpould walk and talk Christ together but he doesn't mind what I do so no real problems there!
This chat has been helpful to me when im at home and feel like being in fellowship with others because I cant talk to my partner.
:)
 
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rexy

Guest
#3
#3
No. He is not a professin christian. He comes from a christian family but does not engage in any christian activity. He somehow hates christians and calls them all names.
At 1st, he used to accompany me to church but when his other affairs started he stoped. He never used to mind what i do or my christian walk but now he is such a stambling block. I feel exhausted in life and spirit. We still pray together when he is around but thats all.
He are now complete opposite, what he loves I do not, what I love he does not. This is what is so exhausting since we are together but pulling each other in very opposite sides.
The energy needed to sustain this marriage is so much.
 
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Redeemed79

Guest
#4
#4
I can imagine and my prayers are with you! This must be soo hard on you. It is a shame he hasn't accepted Christ and I know how that feels.. and it is exhausting when things do come up in ya relationships and ya just think far out this would be easier alone ae!? The affair thing I am very sorry about, there would be nothing worse for me. This is grounds for divorce which Im sure you know and are working through all possibilites and angles yourself. It is soo hard to let you know how i fell for you in spirit through a keyboard, i have tears for you..not of pity but of love for you and your struggle.
 
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rexy

Guest
#5
#5
Thank you. God is in control and he is watching over me. i like reading Psalms 121. I feel so safe in that reading.
 
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Redeemed79

Guest
#6
#6
Just read it...I can see why! I will continue to pray for you and will use Psalms 121 just to assure you i will be praying God's will not my own.
Love your sister in Christ
Freedom
 
C

Consumed

Guest
#7
#7
wow, difficult situation it does seem but can i encourage you not to make your marriage Goliath and see yourself in God as the grasshopper. Too many churches now a days consent to divorce, i personally dont for I just go by Gods guidelines on the subject. Jesus is married to us, imagine how many times He could have filed for divorce for our unfaithfulness.

All depends if you truly love your husband, you do have the option to divorce given you by Jesus' own words yet there is nothing that God cant make good out of a bad situation. Magnify God thru this time, ask the Holy Spirit to comfort you and keep praising Jesus for the victory He has already given you over the devil. Whichever way you go with the marriage, just keep praising Jesus, the praises are what breaks the chains, worry only wraps them around tighter.

Will keep you in my prayers sister, be strong and of good courage, thank Jesus for all things. be anxious for nothing, trust God to heal and fix it all to His will at His timing.
 
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enduretotheend

Guest
#8
#8
People get divorces for any simple and stupid reason nowadays, but you - Rexy - have every right to end it for your husband has been unfaithful ,,, and as you say has had, "one affair after the other". Let us factor in though the very good relationship he has with the children you both share. I don't know the whole situation but an ultimatum might be in store ... for him to remain faithful to the marriage from now on or you are ending it. Maybe this would get him to think about what he might lose. Maybe your stand - if strong enough - would get him to reconsider his ways. I know it has to be way more complicated than what we here see on an internet chat board place; it is your life that you are living out and there's a flood of memories and situations and circumstances that we are not privy to. But I do know that all of us have access to the Highest Throne and that Jesus has a listening ear for you and He does deal out not only the best advice but His right arm is ready to pick you up and set you on your feet and lead you along the Way.
 
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rexy

Guest
#9
#9
I was thinking "It only becomes so difficult to forgive one another yet we pray to be forgiven as we forgive each other when reciting our Lords prayer".

What if we block our forgiveness just because we do not forgive each other.
 
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