The vows that are taken to uphold the responsibilities of both the man’s role and the woman’s role in marriage are found all throughout the scriptures. This is just a compilation of important verses to read, digest, and apply to your marriage.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New International Version
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Patience is hard especially at the start of marriage as you and your spouse begin to learn each other’s flaws, bad habits, and annoying behaviors. Remember, never enter marriage expecting to change the other individual. Let the Spirit of God work in you and often this encourages change.
Watch what you envy in others or objects that may not be financially needed or healthy for your relationship. Do not let pride stop you from saying, “I’m sorry.” Be careful not to slander or gossip about your spouse as in speaking untruths just to get under their skin.
Biblical love is sacrificial and therefore not self seeking. This does not mean you are to completely neglect yourself, but love is often more felt in action than just words. Not easily angered as in when flaws, bad behaviors and annoying behaviors arise, think to yourself, is this worth fighting over? Does this need to be addressed for the health of the marriage?
Do not hold grudges or a list of wrongs. Forgive and forget as they say.
What is evil? The things counter to God’s will. God’s will is contained within His Word the Bible. Rejoice or keep God’s truth as valuable within your marriage. Protect each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Protect your wife from physical danger, protect your husband from inward danger as in bottled up stress. Be there for your wife emotionally even if it is just a shoulder to cry on, a long hug, or time to filter her feelings.
Spiritually pray for each other and motivate each other to grow closer to God. Surround yourself with good people who will provide good examples. Build your trust in each other, never lie, and strive to always be honest no matter how painful.
Finally, as you move through the struggles, remember to endure the trials while seeking to strengthen your bond on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis.
Genesis 2:24 ESV
Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
To become one flesh involves more than sexual intimacy but also includes your mind or your life. You become a team dedicated to upholding your family unit and do what you must to provide for them. To leave father and mother can also indicate that now you and your spouse come first as in you seek each other’s advice or you put their time first. This is your family now and it must always come first.
2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
This is speaking about unbelievers, but it carries an important lesson. Be careful not to grow stagnant in faith. If one keeps growing while the other does not, it will create turmoil within as light clashes with the darkness (antics of a stagnant or decaying faith).
Hebrews 13:4 ESV
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
In honor, a sacred honor that must be held in the highest esteem among everyone around you. Protect it as if your life depends on it. Keep pumping the blood of life within the veins of your marriage. Even if you feel at times to be on life support and having to continually give CPR, do not stop pressing on the heart, keep the blood moving. Keep the marriage alive! Always stay faithful to each other and even in times of stress or exhaustion try to have a healthy sex life, healthy intimacy, and time together to fight off what is sexually immoral.
Ephesians 5:22-33 New International Version
22 Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The husband is biblically the leader of the household. This carries a lot of weight but must be done so that your wife will be free to focus on her Biblical duties as a wife, mother, disciple, friend, daughter, etc.
Submitting to your husband does not apply if ever in danger, or if it goes against God’s Word. People in the past have abused women while trying to apply this scripture. Husband you must love your wife as Christ loved the church. Jesus loved the church so much that he physically died for the church. Love her as you would love yourself.
Love emotionally must be worked on in a man, where as respect for your wife comes easier. Love emotionally comes easy for the woman, where as respect for the man will also be a challenge. So, men, love your wife. Women respect your husband. A great book that teaches in depth on this subject is called “Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs” by Emerson Eggrichs.
Also, another greatly beneficial resource is called “The 5 Love Languages, The Secret To Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman. The 5 love languages are how different people with different personalities express love. Learning the ways your spouse expresses love and receives love can strengthen your marriage. For example, the 5 love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
TO THE HUSBAND:
I am writing from a man’s perspective, so this is heartfelt as much of this I write has never been perfect in my own marriage, but I call out to the husband as a man to another man. Fight for this marriage, live to laugh together, grow together, and be the best father to your kids that you can be. It will be a constant struggle to direct your time to God, your wife, kids, and self in that order. Communicate, communicate, communicate. I know, I strive to do this but still do not hold up to my standards. But we must try and try again until we have championed our kids into adulthood as productive citizens to society and have eternally won the heart of our spouse.
TO THE WIFE:
From my experience as a husband if I could provide any encouragement to a newlywed wife, it would be to not be so hard on yourself, do your best and beyond that, be content in what you have been blessed with. Do not get ensnared in the thoughts of I wish I looked a certain way or get entangled in the thoughts of your past as bad memories may follow you into your marriage and can unknowingly affect your marriage. Be straight up with giving your husband information as us men do not pick up well on subtle hints.
TO YOU BOTH:
Congratulations and God bless you in this mighty endeavor to build a family of strong fortitude, vitality, and love. Amen!
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New International Version
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Patience is hard especially at the start of marriage as you and your spouse begin to learn each other’s flaws, bad habits, and annoying behaviors. Remember, never enter marriage expecting to change the other individual. Let the Spirit of God work in you and often this encourages change.
Watch what you envy in others or objects that may not be financially needed or healthy for your relationship. Do not let pride stop you from saying, “I’m sorry.” Be careful not to slander or gossip about your spouse as in speaking untruths just to get under their skin.
Biblical love is sacrificial and therefore not self seeking. This does not mean you are to completely neglect yourself, but love is often more felt in action than just words. Not easily angered as in when flaws, bad behaviors and annoying behaviors arise, think to yourself, is this worth fighting over? Does this need to be addressed for the health of the marriage?
Do not hold grudges or a list of wrongs. Forgive and forget as they say.
What is evil? The things counter to God’s will. God’s will is contained within His Word the Bible. Rejoice or keep God’s truth as valuable within your marriage. Protect each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Protect your wife from physical danger, protect your husband from inward danger as in bottled up stress. Be there for your wife emotionally even if it is just a shoulder to cry on, a long hug, or time to filter her feelings.
Spiritually pray for each other and motivate each other to grow closer to God. Surround yourself with good people who will provide good examples. Build your trust in each other, never lie, and strive to always be honest no matter how painful.
Finally, as you move through the struggles, remember to endure the trials while seeking to strengthen your bond on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis.
Genesis 2:24 ESV
Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
To become one flesh involves more than sexual intimacy but also includes your mind or your life. You become a team dedicated to upholding your family unit and do what you must to provide for them. To leave father and mother can also indicate that now you and your spouse come first as in you seek each other’s advice or you put their time first. This is your family now and it must always come first.
2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
This is speaking about unbelievers, but it carries an important lesson. Be careful not to grow stagnant in faith. If one keeps growing while the other does not, it will create turmoil within as light clashes with the darkness (antics of a stagnant or decaying faith).
Hebrews 13:4 ESV
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
In honor, a sacred honor that must be held in the highest esteem among everyone around you. Protect it as if your life depends on it. Keep pumping the blood of life within the veins of your marriage. Even if you feel at times to be on life support and having to continually give CPR, do not stop pressing on the heart, keep the blood moving. Keep the marriage alive! Always stay faithful to each other and even in times of stress or exhaustion try to have a healthy sex life, healthy intimacy, and time together to fight off what is sexually immoral.
Ephesians 5:22-33 New International Version
22 Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The husband is biblically the leader of the household. This carries a lot of weight but must be done so that your wife will be free to focus on her Biblical duties as a wife, mother, disciple, friend, daughter, etc.
Submitting to your husband does not apply if ever in danger, or if it goes against God’s Word. People in the past have abused women while trying to apply this scripture. Husband you must love your wife as Christ loved the church. Jesus loved the church so much that he physically died for the church. Love her as you would love yourself.
Love emotionally must be worked on in a man, where as respect for your wife comes easier. Love emotionally comes easy for the woman, where as respect for the man will also be a challenge. So, men, love your wife. Women respect your husband. A great book that teaches in depth on this subject is called “Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs” by Emerson Eggrichs.
Also, another greatly beneficial resource is called “The 5 Love Languages, The Secret To Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman. The 5 love languages are how different people with different personalities express love. Learning the ways your spouse expresses love and receives love can strengthen your marriage. For example, the 5 love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
TO THE HUSBAND:
I am writing from a man’s perspective, so this is heartfelt as much of this I write has never been perfect in my own marriage, but I call out to the husband as a man to another man. Fight for this marriage, live to laugh together, grow together, and be the best father to your kids that you can be. It will be a constant struggle to direct your time to God, your wife, kids, and self in that order. Communicate, communicate, communicate. I know, I strive to do this but still do not hold up to my standards. But we must try and try again until we have championed our kids into adulthood as productive citizens to society and have eternally won the heart of our spouse.
TO THE WIFE:
From my experience as a husband if I could provide any encouragement to a newlywed wife, it would be to not be so hard on yourself, do your best and beyond that, be content in what you have been blessed with. Do not get ensnared in the thoughts of I wish I looked a certain way or get entangled in the thoughts of your past as bad memories may follow you into your marriage and can unknowingly affect your marriage. Be straight up with giving your husband information as us men do not pick up well on subtle hints.
TO YOU BOTH:
Congratulations and God bless you in this mighty endeavor to build a family of strong fortitude, vitality, and love. Amen!