married now what?

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brokenheart69

brokenheart69

Banned
Mar 17, 2012
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OK married (check) now what? Both of our parents are dead so any suguertions on whats next.
How do we start our life together?
 
I can relate to not havin' parents. I feel for you. A prayer at a time. If it's just the two of you though, it could be a good opportunity to really cling to each other. Sometimes outside opinions can be harmfulll. My husband is my best friend. That didn't come easy tho. Friends don't alway know whats best, even tho you love them "just leave" for minor dissagreements is NOT the best advise to give to married ppl. God can do amazing things with marriages. I got married at 19 and am 32 now. Still married. Still asking "now what?" For me the first 3 years were the hardest because we were getting to know each othher on that" one flesh" level not just the courtship level. It was worth it. I'm glad God led me to stick it out. The Lord was working with him too and he's not perfect, but I think he's pretty great and he's mine. I hope yours is a wonderfull union easily arrived at, and that when well aged you have many wonderfull memories of each other to smile and laugh over, as you help each other survive day to day life. God bless the both of you.
 
Two people living as one is not an easy thing. But, wow, what you learn on the journey makes it definitely worth it!!!!

Keep Christ as the center of your marriage, and learn to compromise and to sacrifice for each other. Also, learn to 'fight fair'...this is important because you're going to have disagreements ;)

Praying for strength and guidance for you :)
 
:) I love everything about this. Because its about love. You to your husband? Love, Your husband to you? love. Jesus Christ? love perfected. The more you love Jesus the more you'll understand how to love your spouse and visa verse. I pray your husband is a man of God :) as long as he keeps Jesus as his guide, he will be granted all things, wisdom, understanding, patience, truth, comfort and bliss :) The love between you and your husband will perfect through your mutual love of God. Melding as one. God is the foundation. You love God, He teaches you to love your husband. Your husband loves God, He teaches your husband how to love you. As love perfects, oh what a life you have inherited! :)
 
Lucy68 said:
Two people living as one is not an easy thing. But, wow, what you learn on the journey makes it definitely worth it!!!!

Keep Christ as the center of your marriage, and learn to compromise and to sacrifice for each other. Also, learn to 'fight fair'...this is important because you're going to have disagreements ;)

Praying for strength and guidance for you :)
Click to expand...

So is this like the give and take rule? I'll give and she will take.
 
My love, you have already begun your life together! (hoped it might take some of the pressure off...lol)

There are books upon books written about Christian marriage, but perhaps the best thing (I can think of) is to gather together with other believers regularly. There are bound to be some Christian couples with successful marriages who can give you some pointers. :)

I've said before here that my dad, before he died, gave me a great piece of advice:
marriage is NOT a 50/50 proposition. BOTH spouses must go into it knowing they will give 100%, and expecting nothing in return.
This is, essentially, Christ as the Head, and center. Expectations can crush a marriage.

Jesus said there's no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend.
Daily laying down what I want, or feel I need, in my dad's 100/0 analogy.
That's really just the practical application of Christ as Head.

It's the most joyous work you'll ever do, outside of your realtionship with the Lord.
I pray you'll find some older, Christian couples to mentor and advise you.

In Christ
~ellie
post script: NEVER allow the possibility of divorce. Once that's an attainable idea, it almost becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Things WILL get hard! Expect it. You will grate on one another's nerves, and mystify each other at times.
Hold fast to the committment you've made. It will stand you in good stead. :)
 
it's an honor for all of us. If there is ever anything else, don't hesitate to open up, we are all family here.
 
happyinhisway said:
So is this like the give and take rule? I'll give and she will take.
Click to expand...

It bothers me when I hear a Christian advise someone to learn to "fight" fair. The wife and I have been married over 40 years and have never had a fight or an argument, why you may ask, because God is first in our relationship, I married my best friend and God says love not fight. We don't understand how two people that have become one can fight. When you fight your self, you lose. Cheers
 
Moe said:
It bothers me when I hear a Christian advise someone to learn to "fight" fair. The wife and I have been married over 40 years and have never had a fight or an argument, why you may ask, because God is first in our relationship, I married my best friend and God says love not fight. We don't understand how two people that have become one can fight. When you fight your self, you lose. Cheers
Click to expand...

Maybe it happens because no matter how much you want to have it not happen, people ultimately are imperfect and sinful by nature.
Also different people struggle in different areas. While you and your wife may not struggle in the areas of having a temper, or frustrating easily, etc... other people do, and that can lead to arguments more easily. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and are at different points in their walks. Hopefully we can all do our best to argue minimally and not let them get out of control.
 
Moe said:
It bothers me when I hear a Christian advise someone to learn to "fight" fair. The wife and I have been married over 40 years and have never had a fight or an argument, why you may ask, because God is first in our relationship, I married my best friend and God says love not fight. We don't understand how two people that have become one can fight. When you fight your self, you lose. Cheers
Click to expand...

Division is a destroyer. And...I'm in a bit of awe that two sin-filled humans cohabiting with each other for 40 years have never faced each other from different sides of an argument. God's blessings upon you!
 
Never arguing is amazingly cool!

And you know what else is cool? Arguments resolved by the power of Christ. :)
Hurts forgiven and forgotten. Learning to see from another's perspective because of it.

Just in case the OP ever experiences arguments in marriage. ;)
♥
 
psychomom said:
Never arguing is amazingly cool!

And you know what else is cool? Arguments resolved by the power of Christ. :)
Hurts forgiven and forgotten. Learning to see from another's perspective because of it.

Just in case the OP ever experiences arguments in marriage. ;)
♥
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we strongly believe in Ephesians 5:21 (KJV)
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.



its not about the wife summitting to the husband. its about both summitting to each other as on to the lord. Communication we found its very important. "this is what you said, but is it what you ment"?
if the lips are moving are the ears and the brain really listening? dont jump into conclutions and let the person talking finish and explain, clerify what they tried to say!
 
Lucy68 said:
Two people living as one is not an easy thing. But, wow, what you learn on the journey makes it definitely worth it!!!!

Keep Christ as the center of your marriage, and learn to compromise and to sacrifice for each other. Also, learn to 'fight fair'...this is important because you're going to have disagreements ;)

Praying for strength and guidance for you :)
Click to expand...


Having to gotton my husband so good has been a true learning experiance and a blessing to me. Cause he listens to every word I say. Can repeat everything word by word back to me and states "this is waht you said and or this is what I understood. Is this what you meant".
One important thing that I learned from him is to agreed to disdagreed for we will never see eye to eye on everything 100%. So as far as I can see we should not have to have fights, as long as we can talk things out.
 
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Moe said:
It bothers me when I hear a Christian advise someone to learn to "fight" fair. The wife and I have been married over 40 years and have never had a fight or an argument, why you may ask, because God is first in our relationship, I married my best friend and God says love not fight. We don't understand how two people that have become one can fight. When you fight your self, you lose. Cheers
Click to expand...


Your level of maturity is admirable; not all of us are there when we get married young. I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe that two married people agree on everything for 40 years
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When I use the word 'fighting', I do not mean hitting, yelling, etc. I'm referring to verbal disagreements.
 
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