My Husband and Church

[Aly2007]

My husband and I have had a lot of problems in the past that we are still working through. Adultery being one of them. I know that it's wrong to only seek God in times of need, but I think a lot of us do. So, I found a church nearby and went and learned so many things about marriage and God. I was told that our marriage should be a triangle with God at the top point of this triangle and that we are at separate corners of this triangle. The further we move up this triangle towards God, the closer we become to each other. So, as I am trying to dedicate my life to God and learn his word, I am wanting him to start doing so as well. He won't go to church with me or even (well barely) listen to what I have to say about the word of God. He thinks that since he drinks on the weekend and curses, that it would be hypocritical of him to go to church. I think that it's a good thing that he has conviction and now is a great time to start. Well he feels a person who attends church should never miss it and his schedule is too hectic and the church I'd like to attend is too far away.. I on the other hand don't belive you need to be in the house of God to worship him.. So if anyone has any comments or suggestions I would love to hear them.

I read in another post on here "Tomorrow is never promised" which is true. So, in the spirit of the love of quotes and lyrics, I can't help but think, "Come, now is the time to worship!"

 

[loveasaweapon]

Hi Aly2007,

First, welcome to CC. It looks like you are relatively new here. I am as well. Yours is a difficult position to be in.

In response to your husband's drinking and cursing--we don't get ourselves right before going to church. We go because we realize how messed up we really are, and that God is the only one who can make us right.

As to attending church every Sunday--it's not a biblical mandate. You won't lose your salvation for missing a Sunday (or for any other reason for that matter). However it is extremely important to be around other believers, especially those who are stronger spiritually than you. It is important to study God's Word on your own, but it is also important to hear it from someone God has called to preach and teach it. I didn't go to church for about two years. When I started going back I felt so much better--it was like getting recharged every week.

You said that the church you'd like to attend is too far away. I would suggest compromising and finding somewhere closer, somewhere more convienient for your husband (as long as it's not a compromise on the spiritual quality of the church). I don't know if you've seen the movie Fireproof. It was kind of cheesy at times, but the message was good. The husband, once he got right with God, just kept loving his wife, no matter what her response was to his love. So that's what I would say--just keep loving him, praying for him. Don't try to force him, but be open about your love for him and for God. Let him see you pray, and read your Bible, let him see your character, and just let God work through you.

God bless

 

[Tifper]

First off I will say agree that you don't have to be in a Church to worship God... you can worship Him right at home, in your car, or where ever you are.
Howver I am not down talking the importance of the Church in the life of the believer. Church is place where a believer can go hear the Word of God and be taught, where you can come together with other believers-fellowship and encourage one another, Church is a place where you can get answers from God, Church is like a divine appointment with God... well that is what I think of it as. So I strongly encourage you to stick in Church, go as often as you can, but hey you know, if it is not possible to get there, don't be condemned. He is a loving God and He is not going to smite you. Yes, you are to walk in the light that you have been given, meaning walk in understanding that you have, do what you know is right.... remember though God is merciful and full of grace and love.

Regarding you husband, this is how I see it. Do what you know is right, stay in Church, stay focused on God, stay on fire for God, and keep walking in the understanding that He has given you- continue to live out the Word of God in your life, and do not grow weary in doing what is right. I highly suggest to keep him in your prayers, pray that the eyes of his understanding would be opened, and that he would grow in knowledge and revelation regarding the Fathers love for him and that he has been made the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus, and that God will conintue to work on your husbands heart... Also -Not saying you do this, but do your best not to shove the Word at your husband, be sweet, be gentle, be kind, be loving and be patient. As we know God Himself is loving and patient even with us. I would conintue to invite your husband to come to Church, and let him know, no one is perfect not even a Christian who goes to Church everyday. Even people who go to Church on a regular basis mess up, no one is perfect. Let him know that God loves him regardless, and you would love for him to come to Church. No one has to be perfect in order to go to Church.

And for you, understand that God will work things out. Keep your focus on Him, honor Him, trust Him... He will work all things together for good. Be sure to walk in love always... and set the example for your husband. It may not be easy at times, but be patient with him, and be tender towards him. Maybe he will see a great change in your life as you focus on God, and it will prompt him to also want that change and persue it himself. Remember the Word of God is a seed... plant it gently, water it with love, and watch it grow.

Lastly, know this if you stumble, you can always get back up. satan has already been defeated and placed under your feet through Christ Jesus. The only way he can "triumpth" over you in this life, is if you quit or give up. Keep this in mind "I cannot be defeated, and I will not quit" -no matter what comes your way, you have overcome it through Christ Jesus. God loves you, keep the past the past and press forward into God with all that you got! Keep that passion for God alive!

I strongly suggest studying 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, and walk in love as it defines it here in that scripture.

 

[Aly2007]

@Lovesaweapon- I LOVE that movie, when me and my hubby considered divorce I quoted that movie so many times "How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me?" Thats the way my husband felt towards me and I towards him. 1Corinthians 13:4-8 is my favorite scripture!

 

[Aly2007]

@Tifper- WOW! i hadn't even read your when i posted my last reply! and btw I'm a little teared up! you are a very wise person, and I sure hope you are on here to help me, no one has ever exactly understood me like that before, not even my previous preachers.. wow, just awesome! Thank you and I will remember,


“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
...there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

 

[Tifper]

Yes I am here for you! Know that I am always here for you if you need anything!!! I am glad that it helped, God is good!!!! Send me a message on here or email me, [email protected] if you need anything at all. ... I can relate to your situation in many ways. Be blessed!

 

[Tumnus]

loveasaweapon and Tifper are truly wise indeed! My goodness ladies, you are so on point! I've had to miss a lot of church due to transportation issues and difficulty finding someone to cover for me at home. I had to stop guilt-tripping myself over it. Fortunately, folks from church come by to share the Word with us after service.

Finding a church that is beneficial to you both and which you can grow individually and jointly is my prayer for you.

In regards to a "command" in Scripture, forgive me for not having the exact quote, but I think it goes Do not neglect the assembling yourselves together (or the assembly of believers), as is the practice of some? Does anyone know which verse I mean? Thanks

 

[loveasaweapon]

Tumnus--

I am not a lady, but thank you anyway. The verse you are thinking of is very appropriate--

"not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching," (Heb 10:25, NIV)

or

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching," (Heb 10:25, KJV)

For Aly--if yours or your husband's schedule just doesn't permit making it every Sunday, I would suggest a church that has a mid-week service, or other groups that meet throughout the week that you can attend. The Church is not a building--it is the body of true believers, so there are other options available aside from the traditional Sunday morning service.

 

[Tumnus]

Oops! LOL, so sorry loveasaweapon! Thank you for providing that verse, kind SIR.

Once again, your advice to Aly is spot on.

 

[Aly2007]

wow, i officially love this site! Everyone has great views! Thank you all so much! And that does makes sense, I was trying to explain to my hubby last night that (because he's afraid for his cussing) when you surround yourself with god fearing people it rubs off on you not just at church but at home and work as well. You make wiser decisions everywhere.

 

[loveasaweapon]

Tumnus--

You're very welcome

Aly--

I'm glad we could be of some assistance. I am relatively new here also, and my hope is that that's what this website will be about--giving and receiving encouragment.


" What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor," (1 Corinthians 3:5-8, NIV)

I pray that we may plant seeds with you, and that you in turn may plant seeds with your husband. And to God be the glory!

 

[Aly2007]

awww! Thank you! very inspiring! I hope that as I grow in my Christian faith that I can eventuallly be of some assistance to others!

 

[dmdave17]

awww! Thank you! very inspiring! I hope that as I grow in my Christian faith that I can eventuallly be of some assistance to others!

That is the goal of every Christian. And, as has been pointed out, we can witness as much with our actions as with our words. Our hope is that people see our peace in God, and want what we have.

 

[Aly2007]

As I have seen and wanted! people always tell me bad things happen to good people, but i dont believe that, life happens to everyone, period. when I see how happy my friends are and how peaceful they are, it makes me want that. My bestie was asked the other day when the earthquakes happened if she was ready and she said without a doubt. I want that kind of peace.

 

[Seriously_Cool_Wife]

Such great advice and uplifting going on!!! Amen and awesome!!!

God called you, hon... He wants you to walk with Him and trust in Him. The bible says seek first the kingdom of God and all things will be added to you. So, step one in bringing your husband to a saving relationship with God is for you seek God first. I don't mean to stop asking your husband to go with you, but maybe use the same approach that GOd uses. Use a still, small, gentle, but consistent voice. Let him know your heart and how important it would be if he went, too, but let God be the one that actually draws him.

There are women that have been in really rough relationships that have testified to me that they felt God had asked them to just humbly love their husbands.... and through that humble love... their husbands were inspired and opened their hearts and eyes to God.

A book I would suggest... in fact there is a series of them.... there's "The power of the praying Wife" "The power of the praying woman"... "....the praying mom"... etc... I really enjoyed them and clung to the biblical truths I found in them during times of struggle.

 

[Aly2007]

Awesome! I will deffinately look into that! a book i started reading is "the husband project" kind of like the love dare (fireproof) but for women. it helps even if you'tr not having problems There's a church near me (i live in alabama) called The Cowboy Church and it's not that far of a drive and he's been invited once before to go, and he actually sent me a message today on FB with all its details and said he'd like to try that church, since he's country lol

 

[fabfam12]

Great advice in those previous posts.
Here's a story from my own family:
My Mom went to church alone for many years before my Dad offered to go with her. We prayed and prayed and prayed about that man!! After three or four years, Dad started coming to church with us just to round out the family. He never talked about the services and didn't want us to either. Slowly, subtly, God started working through some of the men in the church. Dad had some questions. He started going to Bible studies and men's retreats. Still years went by. Finally, quietly, he gave his life to Jesus after about 10 years of my mom going to church.
He went to church with us when he started to feel left out and when he started to see what good it was doing in his kids' lives. He did not come because of any debate with him that we won. He didn't come when we harped on him to come.
So keep going to church. Follow Jesus. Be that light to his path. Be happy. Be a "warm stone in his pocket." Keep praying. God still hears and answers prayer.

 

[Aly2007]

Thanks, so I guess the message is no one wants to be badgered to go to church, This is God's job and his perfect will