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gvs1032
Guest
As I am speaking of right now.. What am I to do, if you forsake the assembling of the church you retard your growth in spirit as a christian right? ah so much to think, I don't know!!! It's like there is so much distress in my mind and thoughts about having a relationship with God, my flesh Oh how it is.. the lusts of the flesh want me to do it for it and not for God.. I really don't know!! ah it's like I am trying very hard to not get frustrated but perhaps I have weak faith, I really dont know... I just really wish God would intervene so hard with my life that the sinful lifestyle thats TEMPTING me to go back to that God would just bring someone or just have him chasten me down to my core till there is no core! I want him to break me down, I feel bad! I desire to be broken down to my core by God so that he might be able to form me the way he wants me to be! The old me is trying to get into this! I'm tempted to do things that after I have done them I feel this guilt.. I don't understand, really, I wish God would provide me wisdom, of course wisdom is in his word the bible but wisdom to deal with this situation, I am trying to stay sane but it is frustrating.. i am such a bad terrible person but I am confused and slightly deranged in my mind because i beleive something but then what.. I do another.. agh really guys please pray for me that God will do something to me, I broke up in tears a day or so ago out of bitter confusion and guilt I don't want to stray away from God!! Pray for me that I might find a true bible believing church that truly follows Jesus ...