My relationship with my mom.. Pz Help

[kay_kay]

When I was young me and my mom used to be ok. But as i grew older i noticed the spiteful things she would do and how she would just try to runin my day. Now everytime I try to talk to my mom it gets into a heated argument because I can't stand to be around her and everytime I talk to her i just remember all the bad things shes done.

i dont want this to be the way I remember my mom and I just need help to figure out a way to repair our relationship before its to late, because i'm at my wits end and dont know how much longer I can take this tensiion

 

[gobigblue]

You need find out the reason for the tention and try to talk it out.

 

[Sose]

hi Kay Kay iv been through alot with my Mom and Dad. heres the thing with my Mom and me I would do something wrong then i felt my Mom did something wrong . and i did what i did because of what she did.but here the thing , things have to be forgiven( repented of or stop) and might as well be forgot because we cant throw thing back in there face weeks or days latter. bringing up the past because it is the same problem . we have have a right fair way as example GOD ways is the best us to forgive us.im guiltly of doing this and my Mom was guilty of doing this . when i slip in doing it again i seem to always get my past thrown in my face , no one like that even when someone is trying very hard to stop .thing have to be settle because its like sweeping it under the carpet but the mess is still there,( hidden . just waiting, ready to be lifted up and revealed. the mess that hasnt gone away left for another day.talk to your Mom calmly even if you dont like what she has to say listen to her. let her tell you without geting mad. then when she finish tell her if she would listen to you without your Mom geting mad.both come in to a agreement of you will try not to do this or that . practicly almost all situation deal with deep confusion, miss understandings, and one or the other taking it to a higher level , from level 1 to level 10. GOD ways are the best to solving any problem. knowing what true forgiveness is, is not throwing the past in there face, and is willing to truely mean what you say when you say i wont do that again, some people are hard to bring to a neutral agreement but even GOD has this problem with us to make us understand are doing wrong against HIM. some people will just not listen .have a open mind , take to heart what your Mother says and she more likely to think about what you told her.

 

[shekaniah]

I think what your feeling is your own opinions starting to form...
Kids usely disagree with their parents when they become independant.
Just remeber to respect her...just because you don't respect her point of view,
does not mean you can be disobedient or rude to her.
Love the mom...she's the olny one you got.

I have prayed for you and your mom too...

 

[kay_kay]

Thanks guys you've really helped me open up my mind to the situtaion. I've never really tried to see my moms point of view on things and I guess i do need to take a second and see where shes coming from before i jump down her throat...

And thanks for praying for us

 

[psychomom]

Hang in there, beloved! Moms and daughters...tough relationships!

I see the heart of Jesus in you, and it's beautiful. ♥

It's hard when you begin to become an adult, as my wise sister Shekaniah has said.
You are beginning to become separate, an individual. You begin to see things from your own POV.
Mom is probably the last person you can see as an indivual person, just a human being, not your mother.
She's a product of her parents, who were one of theirs, on and on...

I admire your devotion to the Lord in this matter. And I also will pray for you both. Moms can feel judged, too, and can be hurt. (i know, right??lol)
You can't help what she does, but you are responsible for your own actions. Try to give her as much mercy as you would give anyone else. I wouldn't be surprised if the change in you begins one in her. I will pray for that.
Just remember that although we are not able...the Lord IS!
~ellie

 

[Spartacus1122]

Moms and daughters have a natural way to go head-to-head, especially during a daughter's teenage years.
You have been given wonderful advice!

Once in a while, remind her how much you love her. Give her a hug and tell her "I love you mom." Simple gestures like that open up the heart and pave way to open dialogue about issues and problems.

Remember, no matter how much you two may disagree or argue, she is your mom, and she'll always love you.

 

[Gizzmo79]

hello I'm new to the whole chat room thing, thought I'd get on to make some new friends and just to chat...especially in the mother and daughter area. Maybe someone can answer me, my mother asked my husband and I if she could live with us until she gets back on her feet, we said sure we told her you don't have to pay any utilities or help out with the rent. Just pay on your loans she had a lot of them to pay off.. So, we move her in that following weekend and right after we moved her in she went to her boyfriends for the weekend. A week went by and I thought every thing was ok, but I could here her in the other room complaining about certain things..Well, we have a cat and a small house dog is is totally against animals in the house. She would always find something to complain about non stop..She lived with us for about 2mos. It just grew and grew with more complaints towards the way we live and so on, one day she came home from her bfs house it seemed to me she was ready to fight and argue over money. Well, we have been giving her money every week for gas to get to her job. I dont know she was doing with her monthly check I didnt ask because its none of my business. Well I knew every tues. se would ask me for money she would go to her bfs every weekend which was 45min away..My husband just gave her 160.00 one day and two days later she asked us for me money..My husband looked at me and said we have to pay our electric and water bill first, he was going to finish his sentence by saying we can give you some money for gas but she replied well @#!# and walked away...After that day she seemed more angry, and she accused me of throwing her pics of her and her bf in the trash when she was at work! And that she didnt want to live here with me..WEll she said it differently to me of course cussed me out and got her clothes and left..I havent seen her since then and that was about a week ago. Why in the world would she accuse me of throwing her stuff away, and I called her and she said she doesnt want to be around me or talk to me, that she will talk to only my husband! She came back the other day to get the rest of her clothes and certain things, but she left behind the pic i bought her for Christmas and my baby pic when i was a new born..I'm not understanding what is going on Please help with any advice...Thanks!!

 

[JimJimmers]

hello I'm new to the whole chat room thing, thought I'd get on to make some new friends and just to chat...especially in the mother and daughter area. Maybe someone can answer me, my mother asked my husband and I if she could live with us until she gets back on her feet, we said sure we told her you don't have to pay any utilities or help out with the rent. Just pay on your loans she had a lot of them to pay off.. So, we move her in that following weekend and right after we moved her in she went to her boyfriends for the weekend. A week went by and I thought every thing was ok, but I could here her in the other room complaining about certain things..Well, we have a cat and a small house dog is is totally against animals in the house. She would always find something to complain about non stop..She lived with us for about 2mos. It just grew and grew with more complaints towards the way we live and so on, one day she came home from her bfs house it seemed to me she was ready to fight and argue over money. Well, we have been giving her money every week for gas to get to her job. I dont know she was doing with her monthly check I didnt ask because its none of my business. Well I knew every tues. se would ask me for money she would go to her bfs every weekend which was 45min away..My husband just gave her 160.00 one day and two days later she asked us for me money..My husband looked at me and said we have to pay our electric and water bill first, he was going to finish his sentence by saying we can give you some money for gas but she replied well @#!# and walked away...After that day she seemed more angry, and she accused me of throwing her pics of her and her bf in the trash when she was at work! And that she didnt want to live here with me..WEll she said it differently to me of course cussed me out and got her clothes and left..I havent seen her since then and that was about a week ago. Why in the world would she accuse me of throwing her stuff away, and I called her and she said she doesnt want to be around me or talk to me, that she will talk to only my husband! She came back the other day to get the rest of her clothes and certain things, but she left behind the pic i bought her for Christmas and my baby pic when i was a new born..I'm not understanding what is going on Please help with any advice...Thanks!!

Gizzmo, you can start a new thread for your own topic, so you'll have one to yourself next time.

It sounds like your mom has some kind of problem she's spending her money on. It could be her boyfriend demanding it, it could be gambling or something else. If she won't talk to you, you can't make her. Just forgive her before the Lord, and wait and see what develops. Maybe your husband can get to the bottom of the problem.

 

[Gizzmo79]

Yes they do go to the casino a lot, thanks for your advice!