T
twamps21
Guest
Ok, so I'm usually not one to post my whole life story but I feel that I might be able to help someone going through a similar situation if I do. And I feel like God has called me to post this... So here it goes.
As long as I can remember my dad has always had an issue with alcohol, he was an alcoholic when I was younger which has caused him to have angry outbursts and beat us, and my mom. As well as verbally abuse us. I remember one point being thrown ito the glass doors for spilling milk and being told I was worthless and all I did was waste his money. (At the time he was unemployed and my mom worked full time). I should probably mention that I have 5 siblings and my mom who I get along with fabulously and am super close to. As we got older and started developing out own personalities my brothers, could fight back, and my sister would get mouthy with him. So he would end up taking all of his frustrations out on me, eventually forcing me to be homeschooled because I couldn't cover the bruises any longer. I never wanted him to get caught, he was afterall my father and I did love Him. My mom took us to church on Sunday's even though he refused to go. So I became a believer at a very young age and I believe that all that has happened has only drawn me closer. I remember at times praying that one of the blows would just kill me so I could live with Jesus. My mom took as many hits for me as she could but couldn't do anything when she was at work. I am still not sure what happened if my mom threatened to call the cops or what happened, but one day when I was being hit I was actually knocked unconscious. The next thing I know my dad says he's giving up alcohol and never hurting me again. He got a job and became a believer.
This lasted about a year till I was in the 5th grade. He was all stressed out about work and said he "needed" a beer to get over it. Well... The one day beer leaded to another wich eventually ended up with him drinking a bottle of whisky every night. He is still able to hold a job and doesn't abuse me anymore, with the exception of two outbursts in the last 9years, praise God for that. But he is however still verbally abusive and is very hurtful . It hurts my feelings but after what I had gone through as a young child I can live with this easy.
About 6 months ago I was driving and had a seizure flipping my car. Afraid of getting yelled at, as I was trapped upside down in my car I refused to call him, or the police because I didn't want him to find out. I called my mom and pleaded with her not to tell my dad, but she said she couldn't get out without him noticing. He found out that I was so afraid and apologized for making me so afraid of him. He told me that he loved me. I went to the doctor and discoverd my seizure was caused by brain damage from the beating years ago when my brain was still developing. After 3 more I was diagnosed with epilepsy and they started experimenting with different prescriptions. My Dad started getting frustrated with the doctor bills and said I was faking to try to make him feel bad, starting the verbal abuse cycle all over again. I had about 4 more before we found a medication that worked. I went about 2months without and any incidents, and then about 2 weeks ago I had one falling down the steps. It was strange because I didn't have the usual feeling I get before having one, but I brushed it off because it was just one and my Dr said the medication might not be 100% effective. 2Nights ago I had another seizure this time I felt really sick afterwards and couldn't stop throwing up. I had an awful headache that wouldn't go away. And then this morning when I got to work at 7a.m. I had another one I knew afterwards that something was terribly wrong I had never been in that much pain after a seizure before. I am currently in the ICU being closely monitored and waiting for answers.
My reason for posting this is not for pity but just to say through everything I've been through, God has been there for me. His mercy is infinite, because things could have been so much worse, I am so grateful to God for that. And this has all brought me closer to God. He has been so great to me and reading His word has been the most comforting thing through all of this. And no matter what anyone who might read this is going through, God has not forgotten about you. He has your whole life in His hands and can help you through whatever is happening.
As long as I can remember my dad has always had an issue with alcohol, he was an alcoholic when I was younger which has caused him to have angry outbursts and beat us, and my mom. As well as verbally abuse us. I remember one point being thrown ito the glass doors for spilling milk and being told I was worthless and all I did was waste his money. (At the time he was unemployed and my mom worked full time). I should probably mention that I have 5 siblings and my mom who I get along with fabulously and am super close to. As we got older and started developing out own personalities my brothers, could fight back, and my sister would get mouthy with him. So he would end up taking all of his frustrations out on me, eventually forcing me to be homeschooled because I couldn't cover the bruises any longer. I never wanted him to get caught, he was afterall my father and I did love Him. My mom took us to church on Sunday's even though he refused to go. So I became a believer at a very young age and I believe that all that has happened has only drawn me closer. I remember at times praying that one of the blows would just kill me so I could live with Jesus. My mom took as many hits for me as she could but couldn't do anything when she was at work. I am still not sure what happened if my mom threatened to call the cops or what happened, but one day when I was being hit I was actually knocked unconscious. The next thing I know my dad says he's giving up alcohol and never hurting me again. He got a job and became a believer.
This lasted about a year till I was in the 5th grade. He was all stressed out about work and said he "needed" a beer to get over it. Well... The one day beer leaded to another wich eventually ended up with him drinking a bottle of whisky every night. He is still able to hold a job and doesn't abuse me anymore, with the exception of two outbursts in the last 9years, praise God for that. But he is however still verbally abusive and is very hurtful . It hurts my feelings but after what I had gone through as a young child I can live with this easy.
About 6 months ago I was driving and had a seizure flipping my car. Afraid of getting yelled at, as I was trapped upside down in my car I refused to call him, or the police because I didn't want him to find out. I called my mom and pleaded with her not to tell my dad, but she said she couldn't get out without him noticing. He found out that I was so afraid and apologized for making me so afraid of him. He told me that he loved me. I went to the doctor and discoverd my seizure was caused by brain damage from the beating years ago when my brain was still developing. After 3 more I was diagnosed with epilepsy and they started experimenting with different prescriptions. My Dad started getting frustrated with the doctor bills and said I was faking to try to make him feel bad, starting the verbal abuse cycle all over again. I had about 4 more before we found a medication that worked. I went about 2months without and any incidents, and then about 2 weeks ago I had one falling down the steps. It was strange because I didn't have the usual feeling I get before having one, but I brushed it off because it was just one and my Dr said the medication might not be 100% effective. 2Nights ago I had another seizure this time I felt really sick afterwards and couldn't stop throwing up. I had an awful headache that wouldn't go away. And then this morning when I got to work at 7a.m. I had another one I knew afterwards that something was terribly wrong I had never been in that much pain after a seizure before. I am currently in the ICU being closely monitored and waiting for answers.
My reason for posting this is not for pity but just to say through everything I've been through, God has been there for me. His mercy is infinite, because things could have been so much worse, I am so grateful to God for that. And this has all brought me closer to God. He has been so great to me and reading His word has been the most comforting thing through all of this. And no matter what anyone who might read this is going through, God has not forgotten about you. He has your whole life in His hands and can help you through whatever is happening.
