B
I feel the need to share my testimony,im not crying about it,its what God healed and delivered me from.I grew up in a home that was not christian at all,my mom abused me mentally and physically.Inever knew my real father,my mom kept me from him cause she hated him.I was sexually abused by several different people in my childhood,and raped twice as a teenager.I was taken from my mom at age 9 and put on a orphonage where there were lots of other children and babies,i remember at night time our doors were locked ,the rooms were dark and you could hear the crying of babys down the long hallway.I was placed in several fosterhomes that sent me back cause they dident want me.After 3 years i went back home to live with my mom ,it was nice at first till it started all over again.At fifteen i got a job ,my mom wanted me to qwit school and help with bills and watch my 3 little sisters.Then soon after she came at me with a butcher knife to my throught ,that was the day I left never to live with her again.I was still 15 young nieve and roaming the streets to find a place to rest my head.I stayed here and there still working and trying to figure out why I was here in this awfull world that showed me no love.I started partying,drinking,drugs and sex trying to find a place to fit in and just be loved. Then I met a man I thought loved me, so I came to Ohio and married him to get away from life I thought.We were married 6 years and had a child togather which was born with a heart defect.The whole time togather he beat me,called me names,spit in my face ,I was still living a life of hell.He kicked me down a flight of stairs when I was 4 months pregnant trying to kill me and the baby cause I tried to leave.I kept trying to be a better wife and love him so he would change,but it dident work.He went to the Navy when i was still pregnat hoping this would chang him,then i had my son and he was born with a heart defect and had 2 openheart sergeries with 50% chance to live and thank God he is fine today.When it got to the point where my son cryed saying momy momy while he watched me being beat ,I had to leave.When I left he stalked me all the time I lived in fear till he took my son.I thought I was gonna loos my mind .I got an aterney and tried to fight for him but there was never enough money for them.Still I found myself living in hell,no mercy,no love Hell.Then I met a older man, we dated a couple months to find out he was addicted to crack and I was pregnat.His freinds convinced him I was trying to trap him for his money so I just left and never saw him again.Then I met a man that wanted to marry me and live our life as christians in an apistolic church where we lived by a standerd,they said people that dident live their way wouldent go to heaven.They were Judging,gossiping,hipacrits and my husband cussed at me every day accusing me of cheating every day .I tried to make it work for 9 years I did not want to get divorced again but I dident want my children to grow up listening to him cussing me, calling me names daily.I was not cheating on him I was working 50-60 hours a week to saport us cause he never worked.So I found myself living in Hell again I left and divorced again.Then I wasent really looking for a man I just wanted live my life and raise my children the best I could.Then came a nice handsome charming man trying to get with me and I tried to resist but he was so sweet, and conciderate,and caring,and I had never had that before.So we dated and he stayed with me for 2 years in my home.I thought he was a dream come true,my knight in shining armor so I married him thinking this is it finnally for life.Then 10 months later I found out he had been sexually molesting my daughter the whole time .So now not only my life is crushed again,my 11 year old daughters is to.So now I stop even caring about myself so I can think about my children,what have I done to my daughter ,I had prayed for God to never let the same thing happen to her that happened to me.She endured this for two and a half years,from the age 8 to 11.what did I do to deserve this life of hell, and now my child has to suffer to.I felt it was all my fault I should of known.I felt like a fool and I was angry with God. I was mad at the world and God why should I even care about anything other than my kids.So I decided to get a good sitter that I could trust definatly not a man, and when they were asleep i was going to get so drunk so I wouldent feel anything and go to the bar.Sex was the last thing on my mind it made me sick.I just wanted to kill the pain and try to have fun while treating men like toys to get back at the world of hell I lived in.This was 4 years ago and dead and gone to me except for the testimony I have to share with you.Today I am healed Praise be to God in the highest ,I now sing a new song of victory for I am a new creature in Christ amen. All those years of hell was not my fault or Gods , but I chose my owne path my owne way instead of Gods.You see God was there to carry me through all the way ,and he was there reaching out his loving arms to me the whole time I just wouldend take his hand.Even though I dident have the greatest start in life he sent people to me to bring me to him but I ignored them.We have the choice of free will ,he is allways calling us if we would just listen to him instead of trying to make our owne way things would of been better.We need to get ourselves off our mind and keep our sights on him and his will and he will take care of the rest.We make things so hard when we think we can do it our way,then we mess up his plan which is best.He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us ,he will make a way if we listen.People say I cant hear him,well clear your mind of self pity and what about me partys and you can hear him.I have learned so much from my circomstances,if only I would of listened.I cant change the past but I can change the future thanks to God for all his mercy and love for me.Today I can honestly say I have finally found true love and that true love is Jesus Christ.He saved me from myself.My advice to anyone is get your mind off yourself,seek him with all your heart,soul,body,and mind,stop complaining,have a good attitude,and enjoy the journey through all circomstances.I know my spelling isent perfect but im sure youll get the point.I dident right this to make anyone feel sorry for me,or impress you.God led me to right this to reach other people and say your not alone.If God can bring me through this Victorious he can do it for anyone ,if you let him.Im not gonna lie it was hard going down memory lane filled with pain to right this but,its not about me its about him and I might not be where I need to be but thank God im not where I used to be. Praise God Im free,Im joyfull,Im loved,Im not living in hell anymore. Amen
I feel the need to share my testimony,im not crying about it,its what God healed and delivered me from.I grew up in a home that was not christian at all,my mom abused me mentally and physically.Inever knew my real father,my mom kept me from him cause she hated him.I was sexually abused by several different people in my childhood,and raped twice as a teenager.I was taken from my mom at age 9 and put on a orphonage where there were lots of other children and babies,i remember at night time our doors were locked ,the rooms were dark and you could hear the crying of babys down the long hallway.I was placed in several fosterhomes that sent me back cause they dident want me.After 3 years i went back home to live with my mom ,it was nice at first till it started all over again.At fifteen i got a job ,my mom wanted me to qwit school and help with bills and watch my 3 little sisters.Then soon after she came at me with a butcher knife to my throught ,that was the day I left never to live with her again.I was still 15 young nieve and roaming the streets to find a place to rest my head.I stayed here and there still working and trying to figure out why I was here in this awfull world that showed me no love.I started partying,drinking,drugs and sex trying to find a place to fit in and just be loved. Then I met a man I thought loved me, so I came to Ohio and married him to get away from life I thought.We were married 6 years and had a child togather which was born with a heart defect.The whole time togather he beat me,called me names,spit in my face ,I was still living a life of hell.He kicked me down a flight of stairs when I was 4 months pregnant trying to kill me and the baby cause I tried to leave.I kept trying to be a better wife and love him so he would change,but it dident work.He went to the Navy when i was still pregnat hoping this would chang him,then i had my son and he was born with a heart defect and had 2 openheart sergeries with 50% chance to live and thank God he is fine today.When it got to the point where my son cryed saying momy momy while he watched me being beat ,I had to leave.When I left he stalked me all the time I lived in fear till he took my son.I thought I was gonna loos my mind .I got an aterney and tried to fight for him but there was never enough money for them.Still I found myself living in hell,no mercy,no love Hell.Then I met a older man, we dated a couple months to find out he was addicted to crack and I was pregnat.His freinds convinced him I was trying to trap him for his money so I just left and never saw him again.Then I met a man that wanted to marry me and live our life as christians in an apistolic church where we lived by a standerd,they said people that dident live their way wouldent go to heaven.They were Judging,gossiping,hipacrits and my husband cussed at me every day accusing me of cheating every day .I tried to make it work for 9 years I did not want to get divorced again but I dident want my children to grow up listening to him cussing me, calling me names daily.I was not cheating on him I was working 50-60 hours a week to saport us cause he never worked.So I found myself living in Hell again I left and divorced again.Then I wasent really looking for a man I just wanted live my life and raise my children the best I could.Then came a nice handsome charming man trying to get with me and I tried to resist but he was so sweet, and conciderate,and caring,and I had never had that before.So we dated and he stayed with me for 2 years in my home.I thought he was a dream come true,my knight in shining armor so I married him thinking this is it finnally for life.Then 10 months later I found out he had been sexually molesting my daughter the whole time .So now not only my life is crushed again,my 11 year old daughters is to.So now I stop even caring about myself so I can think about my children,what have I done to my daughter ,I had prayed for God to never let the same thing happen to her that happened to me.She endured this for two and a half years,from the age 8 to 11.what did I do to deserve this life of hell, and now my child has to suffer to.I felt it was all my fault I should of known.I felt like a fool and I was angry with God. I was mad at the world and God why should I even care about anything other than my kids.So I decided to get a good sitter that I could trust definatly not a man, and when they were asleep i was going to get so drunk so I wouldent feel anything and go to the bar.Sex was the last thing on my mind it made me sick.I just wanted to kill the pain and try to have fun while treating men like toys to get back at the world of hell I lived in.This was 4 years ago and dead and gone to me except for the testimony I have to share with you.
I feel the need to share my testimony,im not crying about it,its what God healed and delivered me from.I grew up in a home that was not christian at all,my mom abused me mentally and physically.Inever knew my real father,my mom kept me from him cause she hated him.I was sexually abused by several different people in my childhood,and raped twice as a teenager.I was taken from my mom at age 9 and put on a orphonage where there were lots of other children and babies,i remember at night time our doors were locked ,the rooms were dark and you could hear the crying of babys down the long hallway.I was placed in several fosterhomes that sent me back cause they dident want me.After 3 years i went back home to live with my mom ,it was nice at first till it started all over again.At fifteen i got a job ,my mom wanted me to qwit school and help with bills and watch my 3 little sisters.Then soon after she came at me with a butcher knife to my throught ,that was the day I left never to live with her again.I was still 15 young nieve and roaming the streets to find a place to rest my head.I stayed here and there still working and trying to figure out why I was here in this awfull world that showed me no love.I started partying,drinking,drugs and sex trying to find a place to fit in and just be loved. Then I met a man I thought loved me, so I came to Ohio and married him to get away from life I thought.We were married 6 years and had a child togather which was born with a heart defect.The whole time togather he beat me,called me names,spit in my face ,I was still living a life of hell.He kicked me down a flight of stairs when I was 4 months pregnant trying to kill me and the baby cause I tried to leave.I kept trying to be a better wife and love him so he would change,but it dident work.He went to the Navy when i was still pregnat hoping this would chang him,then i had my son and he was born with a heart defect and had 2 openheart sergeries with 50% chance to live and thank God he is fine today.When it got to the point where my son cryed saying momy momy while he watched me being beat ,I had to leave.When I left he stalked me all the time I lived in fear till he took my son.I thought I was gonna loos my mind .I got an aterney and tried to fight for him but there was never enough money for them.Still I found myself living in hell,no mercy,no love Hell.Then I met a older man, we dated a couple months to find out he was addicted to crack and I was pregnat.His freinds convinced him I was trying to trap him for his money so I just left and never saw him again.Then I met a man that wanted to marry me and live our life as christians in an apistolic church where we lived by a standerd,they said people that dident live their way wouldent go to heaven.They were Judging,gossiping,hipacrits and my husband cussed at me every day accusing me of cheating every day .I tried to make it work for 9 years I did not want to get divorced again but I dident want my children to grow up listening to him cussing me, calling me names daily.I was not cheating on him I was working 50-60 hours a week to saport us cause he never worked.So I found myself living in Hell again I left and divorced again.Then I wasent really looking for a man I just wanted live my life and raise my children the best I could.Then came a nice handsome charming man trying to get with me and I tried to resist but he was so sweet, and conciderate,and caring,and I had never had that before.So we dated and he stayed with me for 2 years in my home.I thought he was a dream come true,my knight in shining armor so I married him thinking this is it finnally for life.Then 10 months later I found out he had been sexually molesting my daughter the whole time .So now not only my life is crushed again,my 11 year old daughters is to.So now I stop even caring about myself so I can think about my children,what have I done to my daughter ,I had prayed for God to never let the same thing happen to her that happened to me.She endured this for two and a half years,from the age 8 to 11.what did I do to deserve this life of hell, and now my child has to suffer to.I felt it was all my fault I should of known.I felt like a fool and I was angry with God. I was mad at the world and God why should I even care about anything other than my kids.So I decided to get a good sitter that I could trust definatly not a man, and when they were asleep i was going to get so drunk so I wouldent feel anything and go to the bar.Sex was the last thing on my mind it made me sick.I just wanted to kill the pain and try to have fun while treating men like toys to get back at the world of hell I lived in.This was 4 years ago and dead and gone to me except for the testimony I have to share with you.
