P
I couldn't really think of a catchy title, so I just put that one down.
I've been thinking of typing out my testimony for a few days now, but never really got round to it. I guess I was just upset that most of it is pretty negative. But hopefully this will help at least one person, if any, that would be fantastic.
Well let's see. I was raised in a Muslim home, and was more or less forced to believe that Islam was the only religion that would lead to the truth. As I grew up, I would realise that this was just a lie.
I never really had that great of a childhood. I grew up in a bit of a cold home where I didn't really feel like I belonged. It was very much broken. I grew up watching my Dad destroying my mother physically and emotionally. On top of that, I was basically forced to lie for my Mum from an early age. She'd been seeing someone else and when my father found out he basically hit the roof. I've always had to cover for her and still have to. She taught me that being honest was wrong, and it was basically our duty to cover her and lie for her. She still preaches this nonsense today. This kind of upbringing basically destroyed the good in me from an early age. Despite this, I still love my family and pray every day that Jesus can reach them through me, and that through me they can be shown the truth.
My family are pretty moderate Muslims compared to some, but nevertheless, they forced Islam into me, saying that I could only go to heaven through good works and that from the age of seven, I was accountable for all the sins that i'd done. I was taught that heaven is full of material wealth, and through heaven, you could have all the material objects you desire in life. There was a problem though. I didn't want materials. I just wanted a family who cared. I wanted to know a God who I could approach, who I could build a relationship with, instead of fearing.
As I grew up, I started hanging around in bad crowds. I took up all sorts of bad habits and really fell in line with satan. I always just ended up justifying myself by saying that I would turn my life around someday. The thing was though, I was already becoming a person that I despised. I turned my back on God, and even though he loved me, I wouldn't show him any compassion back. I started using drugs, I started drinking a lot. I began to grow increasingly arrogant and elitist. I completely fell out of line with God, and associated with people who were nothing like myself.
Slowly though, I started to put my life back together, I stopped using drugs. I became more aware that I could die any day now, and that I wouldn't be ready to face up to him. What would I say to God when I died? That I made a lot of money? Surely I was going to hell....
I decided that there had to be more to life than this, and I started to search for it. I began to travel around, looking for answers, but I would always come up blank.
One day, after travelling in the US. I decided to get a penpal. I then started studying at university and in December 2006, I travelled to New York and ended up meeting her. She was at a confusing point in her life as I was. She was having problems, but she told me that God was helping her through it. Eventually, that Easter, I travelled to her hometown and met her parents and family and so on, who invited me to their church. I decided to go as I thought I may aswell see what her faith is all about. As soon as I went I began to try and poke holes in it. I said things like "Surely God doesn't want people standing up, these people are arrogant!" and "How would you know you're going to heaven? How do you know you're saved? You haven't died yet!". But the more holes I tried to poke, the more answers I got back. That November I had decided that I had enough of Islam. I just couldn't believe it anymore. I didn't know what to believe. The things that I had read in the quran were so extreme, and I just couldn't defend them anymore. It encouraged things that I just couldn't condone.I completely renounced my faith.
Over the next year or so, I decided to find out more about Christianity. I knew there was a God out there, but I just didn't know where to turn. I eventually began to read the New Testament, and it just amazed me. It amazed me how compassionate Jesus was, his teachings really touched my heart. He encouraged to love your enemies, and forgive those who have wronged you. Everything was so righteous about him, yet, all he wanted was a mustard seeds worth of faith in him in return.
I knew by now that this was surely the truth. His teachings fell in line with my morals. They taught to love instead of hate. I was slowly discovering that I could make a change, I could be a better person. I could do the right thing.
Eventually, my relationship with my then fiance had fallen apart. We parted ways but I still had Jesus with me. Even after all the wrong I had done in the world, even though I caused a lot of people pain and suffering, Jesus was still there to love me through this and wash all my sins away.
My life still isn't perfect at the moment. In fact, I still struggle with morality even though I am a Christian today. I've learnt that it only gets harder, and we're in a constant spiritual struggle. But even through all of this, i'm still eternally grateful to Jesus for saving my life. For coming to me even when I didn't want to know him. For valuing me as an individual even though there are billions of other people living in this world. Today i'm standing here not as a perfect person, but as someone who strives to do my best, and put my life in Jesus hands.
Thanks
I've been thinking of typing out my testimony for a few days now, but never really got round to it. I guess I was just upset that most of it is pretty negative. But hopefully this will help at least one person, if any, that would be fantastic.
Well let's see. I was raised in a Muslim home, and was more or less forced to believe that Islam was the only religion that would lead to the truth. As I grew up, I would realise that this was just a lie.
I never really had that great of a childhood. I grew up in a bit of a cold home where I didn't really feel like I belonged. It was very much broken. I grew up watching my Dad destroying my mother physically and emotionally. On top of that, I was basically forced to lie for my Mum from an early age. She'd been seeing someone else and when my father found out he basically hit the roof. I've always had to cover for her and still have to. She taught me that being honest was wrong, and it was basically our duty to cover her and lie for her. She still preaches this nonsense today. This kind of upbringing basically destroyed the good in me from an early age. Despite this, I still love my family and pray every day that Jesus can reach them through me, and that through me they can be shown the truth.
My family are pretty moderate Muslims compared to some, but nevertheless, they forced Islam into me, saying that I could only go to heaven through good works and that from the age of seven, I was accountable for all the sins that i'd done. I was taught that heaven is full of material wealth, and through heaven, you could have all the material objects you desire in life. There was a problem though. I didn't want materials. I just wanted a family who cared. I wanted to know a God who I could approach, who I could build a relationship with, instead of fearing.
As I grew up, I started hanging around in bad crowds. I took up all sorts of bad habits and really fell in line with satan. I always just ended up justifying myself by saying that I would turn my life around someday. The thing was though, I was already becoming a person that I despised. I turned my back on God, and even though he loved me, I wouldn't show him any compassion back. I started using drugs, I started drinking a lot. I began to grow increasingly arrogant and elitist. I completely fell out of line with God, and associated with people who were nothing like myself.
Slowly though, I started to put my life back together, I stopped using drugs. I became more aware that I could die any day now, and that I wouldn't be ready to face up to him. What would I say to God when I died? That I made a lot of money? Surely I was going to hell....
I decided that there had to be more to life than this, and I started to search for it. I began to travel around, looking for answers, but I would always come up blank.
One day, after travelling in the US. I decided to get a penpal. I then started studying at university and in December 2006, I travelled to New York and ended up meeting her. She was at a confusing point in her life as I was. She was having problems, but she told me that God was helping her through it. Eventually, that Easter, I travelled to her hometown and met her parents and family and so on, who invited me to their church. I decided to go as I thought I may aswell see what her faith is all about. As soon as I went I began to try and poke holes in it. I said things like "Surely God doesn't want people standing up, these people are arrogant!" and "How would you know you're going to heaven? How do you know you're saved? You haven't died yet!". But the more holes I tried to poke, the more answers I got back. That November I had decided that I had enough of Islam. I just couldn't believe it anymore. I didn't know what to believe. The things that I had read in the quran were so extreme, and I just couldn't defend them anymore. It encouraged things that I just couldn't condone.I completely renounced my faith.
Over the next year or so, I decided to find out more about Christianity. I knew there was a God out there, but I just didn't know where to turn. I eventually began to read the New Testament, and it just amazed me. It amazed me how compassionate Jesus was, his teachings really touched my heart. He encouraged to love your enemies, and forgive those who have wronged you. Everything was so righteous about him, yet, all he wanted was a mustard seeds worth of faith in him in return.
I knew by now that this was surely the truth. His teachings fell in line with my morals. They taught to love instead of hate. I was slowly discovering that I could make a change, I could be a better person. I could do the right thing.
Eventually, my relationship with my then fiance had fallen apart. We parted ways but I still had Jesus with me. Even after all the wrong I had done in the world, even though I caused a lot of people pain and suffering, Jesus was still there to love me through this and wash all my sins away.
My life still isn't perfect at the moment. In fact, I still struggle with morality even though I am a Christian today. I've learnt that it only gets harder, and we're in a constant spiritual struggle. But even through all of this, i'm still eternally grateful to Jesus for saving my life. For coming to me even when I didn't want to know him. For valuing me as an individual even though there are billions of other people living in this world. Today i'm standing here not as a perfect person, but as someone who strives to do my best, and put my life in Jesus hands.
Thanks
