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My Testimony
The reason I am posting this in the teen section, is I hope that it will help someone else out there, who is my age, that may be struggling with the same thing
Well..I don't really know where to start...but here it goes...When I was ten years old, I was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis, but hospitalized, because they did not yet know what it was, so it was mainly a precautionary. Well about four months after I got out of the hospital, my mom was diagnosed with Bipolar. When mom was diagnosed, I hated everyone. I even hated God. I could not believe that He would put me through this, and I hated so many people in my family, because I felt that there was no one to talk to, and I felt that no one even cared about me. For a long time, I blamed myself for my mothers illness. When I was twelve, someone explained to me that there was nothing I could have done to cause it, and there was nothingI could have done to prevent it. For those of you who do not know what bipolar is, it is chemical inbalance in the brain, which causes severe highs and severe lows...Like you can be really happy one minute, and extremely depressed later on. People with bipolar have many irrational thoughts, as did the case with my mom. My mom, when I was eleven, was hospitalized for the first time. Then, when I was almost twelve, she was hospitalized again. Then when I was 12 1/2, in seventh grade, my mom attempted to commit suicide, and was hospitalized yet again. When this happened, I started cutting myself. I did not know what to do with myself. I had no idea how to handle the stress I was dealing with, and so I coped with it, by cutting. During this time, I felt I had no one to talk to. My brother and I rarely talked, and my dad was an alcoholic, so I felt extremly alone.
The cutting continued on through my eighth grade year, and into the first month of my freshman year. I cut up until the day before I got saved. I had not planned on quitting, but once I got saved, I no longer had the temptation to cut. I still occassionally struggle with the temptation to cut, but I now know I can turn to God, when I feel I cannot turn to anyone else. Four months after I got saved, my twin brother got saved! Our relationship is finally being restored, and we are finally talking again. He does not know that I used to cut, but my parents do know now. I told them a few months ago, because I really felt like I needed them to be there to help me, when I was struggling with the temptation. My parents seemed really upset when I told them, but I think thats more because they did not know, and it went own for so long. It has now been eight months since I last cut, and I thank God for everyday that I go, and do not cut!
Well I hope that this has helped you in some way, and if you have any questions for me, I am open to answering them
~God bless you all, and I hope you have a great day!
The reason I am posting this in the teen section, is I hope that it will help someone else out there, who is my age, that may be struggling with the same thing
Well..I don't really know where to start...but here it goes...When I was ten years old, I was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis, but hospitalized, because they did not yet know what it was, so it was mainly a precautionary. Well about four months after I got out of the hospital, my mom was diagnosed with Bipolar. When mom was diagnosed, I hated everyone. I even hated God. I could not believe that He would put me through this, and I hated so many people in my family, because I felt that there was no one to talk to, and I felt that no one even cared about me. For a long time, I blamed myself for my mothers illness. When I was twelve, someone explained to me that there was nothing I could have done to cause it, and there was nothingI could have done to prevent it. For those of you who do not know what bipolar is, it is chemical inbalance in the brain, which causes severe highs and severe lows...Like you can be really happy one minute, and extremely depressed later on. People with bipolar have many irrational thoughts, as did the case with my mom. My mom, when I was eleven, was hospitalized for the first time. Then, when I was almost twelve, she was hospitalized again. Then when I was 12 1/2, in seventh grade, my mom attempted to commit suicide, and was hospitalized yet again. When this happened, I started cutting myself. I did not know what to do with myself. I had no idea how to handle the stress I was dealing with, and so I coped with it, by cutting. During this time, I felt I had no one to talk to. My brother and I rarely talked, and my dad was an alcoholic, so I felt extremly alone.
The cutting continued on through my eighth grade year, and into the first month of my freshman year. I cut up until the day before I got saved. I had not planned on quitting, but once I got saved, I no longer had the temptation to cut. I still occassionally struggle with the temptation to cut, but I now know I can turn to God, when I feel I cannot turn to anyone else. Four months after I got saved, my twin brother got saved! Our relationship is finally being restored, and we are finally talking again. He does not know that I used to cut, but my parents do know now. I told them a few months ago, because I really felt like I needed them to be there to help me, when I was struggling with the temptation. My parents seemed really upset when I told them, but I think thats more because they did not know, and it went own for so long. It has now been eight months since I last cut, and I thank God for everyday that I go, and do not cut!
Well I hope that this has helped you in some way, and if you have any questions for me, I am open to answering them
~God bless you all, and I hope you have a great day!