H
hopesprings
Guest
I wanted to post a thread called "Counting the Cost", but I thought I should give some background into where I am coming from.
As my "about me" says: I was raised in a Christian home - my parents are Methodist/Pentecostal. I have four brothers and a sister. There was no explanation or emphasis placed on a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I always thought that the "sinners prayer" was enough to save me. when I was still young I was abused by someone very close to me. I tried to tell but was told that I was lying. Eventually the truth came out and the police were involved. Said person had actually abused other young girls as well.
When I started high school, I totally rebelled against my parents and God. I got addicted to drugs, alcohol and some other things. I remember countless times, sneaking out of the house at night and getting into trouble. Funny how much a tramatic experience can shape your life.
I had been dating this certain guy for some time when I got pregnant. He didn't want to keep the baby. I wasn't ignorant to what God's word says about murder, but I chose to abort the baby anyway. I don't think anyone should be able to choose to kill another human being. The arguement often is that abortion should be a choice for a woman who is raped. I have been through both and can say that people do not understand what happens to you after you have an abortion. I think the only people who really have a right to talk about whether or not abortion is legal, are those who have been through it and have experienced what really happens to a person. A part of me actually died the day that I went through that procedure. I can't even describe what it feels like to experience this deadness. Not anger or hate...just...nothing...deadness. I don't remember the couple of years after that.
I met the man (who is now my husband) when I started a new job. He was in a relationship, but I didn't care. A while later I got pregnant. I gave him a choice: all or nothing. He was not a christian, but God still guided him into making the right decision. I started getting into the Word - really getting into it - I knew thatI was going to be responsible for someone other then myself now and I had an obligation to find the truth and teach it to my baby. I remember, shortly after my son was born - being so broken over my sin. I thought..how can God possibly love me after everything that I had done? I remember the day so vividly: my little boy was still so very small and he was crying and crying in my arms and I couldn't get him to stop. And I remember rocking him in the chair and thinking: "I am a terrible person. I am a terrible mother. God help me! I can't do it on my own!". And, just like that, I had peace. That peace that passes all understanding. My little guy didn't stop crying (I think he cried for hours after that - we later found out he had acid reflux), but I knew that God was there, that he hadn't forsaken me. I think about how this shows so well that...when we are in the storm and we cry out to God, that doesn't mean the storm goes away. But his peace comes. His grace is sufficient.
My husband gave his heart to Jesus shortly after that. We had a second son a couple of years later. God has blessed me with two children that I know I don't deserve...they are gifts of his grace and treasures in my life. He gave me this scripture shortly after my first son was born "it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power" (1 Cor 15:43). It has been a journey ever since. I still struggle with the flesh, and I can definitly say with Paul that I am the worst sinner that I know. I don't think God always shows us the depths of our own hearts, but I think he did in my case. My husband and I are raising our boys in the admonition of the Lord, and I am so thankful that we are able to do that. sometimes things are still tough...two year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I have undergone two surgeries to remove the tumors and I start treatment soon. But God is good, all the time. And I know that he works all things together for good...he has already used the cancer as a powerful tool in my life.
Truly, what was ment for evil God has used for good. I have no complaints. Those who have been forgiven much will love much.
Thanks for letting me post.
hopesprings
As my "about me" says: I was raised in a Christian home - my parents are Methodist/Pentecostal. I have four brothers and a sister. There was no explanation or emphasis placed on a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I always thought that the "sinners prayer" was enough to save me. when I was still young I was abused by someone very close to me. I tried to tell but was told that I was lying. Eventually the truth came out and the police were involved. Said person had actually abused other young girls as well.
When I started high school, I totally rebelled against my parents and God. I got addicted to drugs, alcohol and some other things. I remember countless times, sneaking out of the house at night and getting into trouble. Funny how much a tramatic experience can shape your life.
I had been dating this certain guy for some time when I got pregnant. He didn't want to keep the baby. I wasn't ignorant to what God's word says about murder, but I chose to abort the baby anyway. I don't think anyone should be able to choose to kill another human being. The arguement often is that abortion should be a choice for a woman who is raped. I have been through both and can say that people do not understand what happens to you after you have an abortion. I think the only people who really have a right to talk about whether or not abortion is legal, are those who have been through it and have experienced what really happens to a person. A part of me actually died the day that I went through that procedure. I can't even describe what it feels like to experience this deadness. Not anger or hate...just...nothing...deadness. I don't remember the couple of years after that.
I met the man (who is now my husband) when I started a new job. He was in a relationship, but I didn't care. A while later I got pregnant. I gave him a choice: all or nothing. He was not a christian, but God still guided him into making the right decision. I started getting into the Word - really getting into it - I knew thatI was going to be responsible for someone other then myself now and I had an obligation to find the truth and teach it to my baby. I remember, shortly after my son was born - being so broken over my sin. I thought..how can God possibly love me after everything that I had done? I remember the day so vividly: my little boy was still so very small and he was crying and crying in my arms and I couldn't get him to stop. And I remember rocking him in the chair and thinking: "I am a terrible person. I am a terrible mother. God help me! I can't do it on my own!". And, just like that, I had peace. That peace that passes all understanding. My little guy didn't stop crying (I think he cried for hours after that - we later found out he had acid reflux), but I knew that God was there, that he hadn't forsaken me. I think about how this shows so well that...when we are in the storm and we cry out to God, that doesn't mean the storm goes away. But his peace comes. His grace is sufficient.
My husband gave his heart to Jesus shortly after that. We had a second son a couple of years later. God has blessed me with two children that I know I don't deserve...they are gifts of his grace and treasures in my life. He gave me this scripture shortly after my first son was born "it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power" (1 Cor 15:43). It has been a journey ever since. I still struggle with the flesh, and I can definitly say with Paul that I am the worst sinner that I know. I don't think God always shows us the depths of our own hearts, but I think he did in my case. My husband and I are raising our boys in the admonition of the Lord, and I am so thankful that we are able to do that. sometimes things are still tough...two year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I have undergone two surgeries to remove the tumors and I start treatment soon. But God is good, all the time. And I know that he works all things together for good...he has already used the cancer as a powerful tool in my life.
Truly, what was ment for evil God has used for good. I have no complaints. Those who have been forgiven much will love much.
Thanks for letting me post.
hopesprings
. May the Lord bless you and your family and you have complete healing from cancer.