Need your prayers. Just an ear to hear.

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Sula

Member
Jun 19, 2021
82
56
18
#41
Dear Sister,

I thank you for sharing with me your story. I can relate to what you are telling me. It's amazing how you do this for your father and it is hard to hear that you actually help him in his time of need the way that you do. You are doing what is pleasing in God's eyes. Because you opened up your life to me for me to see God through your eyes, I'll share here and now with you my testimony or rather more about how my mother is so that you can better understand.

Before that, I pray that our Lord Jesus grant you the strength you need in difficult times where you feel unappreciated and unloved by the man whom you have loved and cared for since your youth up until this time. You are in your middle age now and have seen life and fought hard and still are fighting for your faith and for a good life. I pray that God reward you with the best both in this life and in heaven. Nothing is impossible for our God.

My faith in Jesus, I got though my mother. My mother is the strongest woman I know. Here in India, it's all arranged marriages you see. She never wanted to marry. She just wanted to live her life doing ministry work as a spinster. She was forced into marriage with a man (My father) whom she knew and didn't want to marry.

She was physically beaten by my father herself. There are things I saw as a kid I cannot say here. It's too traumatic. A lot of abusive words were used. My father was very unfaithful throughout his marriage. All right in front of our very eyes. Lived a life contrary to his marriage vows. Left the family to do as he pleased and live another life.

My mother's family didn't believe in divorce at the time all this happened. Don't think they do even now. So, two unhappy couples stuck with each other. My father was hardly home as he stayed overseas. Every time he came home, he would fight and be abusive with my mother and us.

She took it all and did for us (her children) what the best parents in the world would do. Sacrifice their lives so that we can be brought up the way they think best for us.

But along the way, there's the way the church looks at a woman who is alone raising her kids without the husband. Then there are the neighbours and the gloating relatives and the fear of judgement from society can all bear down heavily on a woman like my mother. And guess where she took out all that aggression on. Me. My brother too.

What good values I have, I got from her. She's a very imperfect woman. But she's pure woman. In the sense that she hasn't known another man besides my father. She still maintains all that. And that's all she has. So, if she is this way. It's the Church that made her that way. Her family, her surroundings that made her that way. She was alright to start off with. I knew who she was when I was young. But my mother cannot listen to one complete sentence from me without interrupting me today.

She lacks basic rationale and logic and is sometimes delusional. And age has caught up with her. We as her children understand what was done to her. What all happened. We understand. We are supportive. And yes, I agree with the moving out of my home and all that to start a new life. I know that and I have common sense to understand all that.

But, there's a way for people to say it.

And God willing, it will happen in His time. I'm working for it. There's a time for things to happen as well.

Today, I'm a Christian with my Bible. I know how abusive churches can be. I've been to many. How judgemental. But I don't hold back from sharing my faith and my love for God, for Jesus as a believer. I do go for Sunday service when I can. When I can't, I still hold the sabbath sacred.

I live my life holding on to what God expects of His children. To forgive, to love and to have and practice Christian values. I always look to God and am connected with God in everything I do. I try to keep that connection always even in times of weakness. I'm not perfect. Always working on myself.

And that's me. I thank you for your prayers very much. It means the world to me what you have shared. I accept your friendship and though I may not always send DMs and all that. If you did, I will always reply. And I am there for you to be heard by you in return if you wished to share something with me. Thank you and God bless you and your family!

P.S. - Thank you for sharing that video. It is a good narration of the salvation history given in The Bible right from Hagar to Ruth to King David to Mary Magdalene. How God works in these individuals lives and how important Our Saviour's sacrifice in the cross was for us. Thanks for sharing.
Amém my brother , thank you for your prayer and for sharing your story. The Love is the key
To learn how to love unconditionally like Jesus . And to forgive like Jesus and to do everything to please him and glorify his name . And I agree that sometimes church can be abusive but remember that all of us are fighting to be better and we will make mistakes and hurt one another in the walk with the Lord. And the Lord Will use even that to mold us to his likeness and help us to never give up on one another, but to fight for one another with prayer and forgiveness heart ❤️ May the Lord Bless you abundantly and keep praying and fighting and he will direct your paths . Be blessed my brother .
Im here if you need anything
 
Mar 25, 2020
433
239
43
#42
Amém my brother , thank you for your prayer and for sharing your story. The Love is the key
To learn how to love unconditionally like Jesus . And to forgive like Jesus and to do everything to please him and glorify his name . And I agree that sometimes church can be abusive but remember that all of us are fighting to be better and we will make mistakes and hurt one another in the walk with the Lord. And the Lord Will use even that to mold us to his likeness and help us to never give up on one another, but to fight for one another with prayer and forgiveness heart ❤️ May the Lord Bless you abundantly and keep praying and fighting and he will direct your paths . Be blessed my brother .
Im here if you need anything
Thank you so much. It's not everyday I meet a believer who goes to the lengths you have to hear me and share with me your faith in Jesus. I will remember what you have said and shared with me. I know God is there to guide me. He'll take care of me. He has taken care of me until now. Thank you again for everything. God bless you. Will keep in touch
 

Joseph33

New member
Jul 16, 2021
17
9
3
35
Indiana
#43
Thank you for your words my friend
I'll be praying for you and your family
So, I've been living my single life hoping for the best in my future. In my mid 30s. Struggling with my life. Lacking self confidence in my job. You see, I've been bullied growing up. I live life with a very insecure parent. A parent who can turn abusive on me at will. I started to type this and yet as I type this I just go back to delete.

By abuse, I mean verbal abuse. Sometimes physical. She hits me. She has hit me all my life. And She has a very warped view of the world around her. I feel like she is standing in between me and my progress. A complete lack of respect to my person as a son at times.

I've been dealing with this all my life. I know definitely that I cannot marry someone and bring her home to live with me in my current home. And my situation has kept me from finding a partner.

I'm introverted.

I make the mistake of talking about my life to this parent of mine. And I pay for it with complete abuse. The pain I feel is not understood by my parent. The emotional pain is more than anything else.

I've always been with her in her lows. But those lows are not real problems. They are mostly her fears which are not true. She's delusional in her old age. Schizophrenic. Talking to people who aren't there.

So, these are some of the problems I face. It is hard. It has always been hard.

There are nights I can't sleep because of the unresolved conversations I have with her.

My parent weighs down on me and my life. She is machine like. Doing her duties. Like cooking and cleaning the house.

But she cannot understand how her actions have a negative impact with those who live with her.

I am doing my work too. But it doesn't pay as much but it's a dream that I've been working to achieve with slow success.

At times I wake up at night because of troubled dreams. At times I feel an amplified pain in my chest which sometimes even stops me from moving. It's more emotional pain than physical.

I'm putting this out here. Getting this off my chest.

No child has to suffer the way I do. I deserve to be treated better.

Because of my parent, I've lost all my friends. It's a crushing, lonely pain, which I feel. I feel depressed. I'm not ok.