Love is a label that we attach to the effect of chemicals in our bodies. It is more accurate to label the stimulus of these chemicals. Attraction is what is at play here. For men love is different than for women. Oxytocin has more to do with emotion for women, where as men bond through other means. Love as most people define it is propagated through music, novels, and movies, to tug at the heartstrings of women. Men identify these reactions and consciously and subconsciously reproduce these behaviours in order to pass on their genes. The only mystery with people is how we could have gotten so far being this stupid.
Needing some advice
- Thread starter Mella82
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well men get triggered by what they see BUT they can bond to one person and stay faithful even in their mind. Love is not only hormones and semiochemical substances. It is also a part of the mind. you can learn and control..Especially men as they are more thinkers as woman. Thats the main opposite they have in them against their natural reproductive instincts.
Men do also get a release of oxitocin when they love, as in chemical is not much different from the Womans, just that they show it differently.
Thing here is that he seems more attracted to other woman, maybe due to a lack from his current marriage (idk or hes just an dumb dumb), and hurts her feelings. It does not even seem to me as if he wants to work things out and stop cheating in his mind. Hr could do something against it, but he wont
now what do you mean with
"The only mystery with people is how we could have gotten so far being this stupid."
Men may have oxytocin just hardly as much. People are so reactive to every urge, justifying every action, incompliant to restraint. Foolish to the core.
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Ariel82
Guest
I look at beauty and admire beauty like a painting or statue....the difference is most people don't lust to have sex with art work.
Your husband asking your friend to pick up things while wearing a short skirt crosses a line....it's like he wants his own personal strip tease or imagining it in his head (why is she wearing it again? Would it pass dress code for schools?).,,, he needs some serious male mentoring from a mature Christian man.
It's not something you can fix. Its something he has to want to fix and change about himself to more like Christ and less like the world.
Keeping y'all in prayer and learning more about the Bible is great..,make sure you don't "go into ministry" too soon and burn out.
.the Bible says a fruit tree is to be planted and allowed to grow for 3 years before they are allowed to make fruit (pluck of blossoms so they spend time sinking deep roots instead of waste energy trying to make fruit) 4 year make fruit but don't eat. Its the 5th year that harvest is allowed.
We are fruit trees and too often people try and force people to have fruit instead of encouraging them to sink their roots deep into Christ and His gospel.
God has to heal and teach us His ways and tear down the lies we believed because the world taught us them. That all takes time.
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Depleted
Guest
Sean Connery, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Jackson Browne are hotties! Well worth looking at for a good minute.
Staring at during an entire sermon? That's not admiring them for their beauty. That's something entirely different.
If you're staring at a stranger for an hour, how much of that time is spent admiring his beauty? And how much of that time is spent in nesting thoughts of a different kind?
Having sexual fantasies really isn't my thing. I can't say that is a virtue any more than robbing banks isn't my thing either. It's just how I am. So, I really can't think what someone would think while staring at someone beautiful for that long.
I do know, as much as I trust hubby to never cheat on me, (his first wife did that to him twice, so no way, no how for either of us), and as much as I know, for all my talk, I'm really not a puncher, (I don't punch people usually), I can guarantee my husband would have felt my elbow in his arm -- hard -- if he did that to me. And, yup. Right smack in the middle of church service.