new to chat with marriage concerns

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hilla2217

Guest
#1
#1
hello to everyone out there i am new here and basically ended up here with nowhere else to go.... having a lot of struggles and concerns with my marriage.. have talked to mom but she of course is biased, talk to friends who God Bless them, they always take my side. my husband is not really big in to going to church so we dont have a pastor to talk with and husband doesnt believe in consoling soooo after a little voice told me to pick up the computer i landed here :) i am 32 once divorced and now remarried. my husband has also gone through a divorce and has a 9yo daughter that he sees every other weekend. we have a little boy together who is almost 2. having gone through a divorce at a young age, i really have a greater appreciation for the union of marriage. I have done a lot of praying and feel i am doing my best to be a good Christian wife. I have a fulltime job as registered nurse, thus providing over 50% of our family income. I do ALL the household duties cleaning laundry making meals take out trash mow and do yardwork. still with all i do and provide for my husband all he finds in me are faults. he has an incredibly quick and nasty temper and has said some of the most hateful hurtful things to me he works 12 hour shifts so he only works 3 days a week. when he has days off he will sit and play video games for 10-12 hours , leaving dirty dishes and mess everywhere. it is so hard to not feel disrespected and hurt but his lack of interest in me or thanks for all i do. i try to be humble and pray for God to help me to be a better wife, knowing we all have our faults and i am trying to improve myself but some days i just feel like when is enough enough. not that i am thinking about divorce because that will never happen.. this is for a lifetime.. but i feel so lonely and lost sometimes...
 
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AdorableNoel

Guest
#2
#2
All i can do for you is pray.
I think you shouldve thought twice before you married this man.. but now you've made a covenant with God and your husband, so it's wonderful that you say it's for a lifetime :) But, you've married a boy.. and possibly you're going to have to raise him.
If you're feeling lost and/or lonely then you're not REALLY talking to God about this are you?
You're about my mother's age.. so, i thank God you realize those things about your husband.. so many women dont.
Do you go to church even though your husband doesnt? If not then i suggest you start going. Read Hebrews 10:19-25 :)
Show your husband the love of God and perhaps he'll be curious. I wasnt raised in a christian enviroment but once i opened up to God i tried my best (not saying i was good haha) to show my family the love of God.. hardest thing to do if you knew my family! lol, but now my mother is thinking about visiting my church.. quite a miracle.
So, i believe with the guidance of God your husband WILL give his life to the one who is most Worthy :)
I also think you should take your child to church.. ou dont have to take my suggestion.. but i think it's good for kids to also have a strong man of God in their life, like a pastor.

I'll keep you in my prayers <3
God Bless you and your growing family! <3
 
happyinhisway

happyinhisway

Banned
#3
May 29, 2012
46
0
0
#3
if your unequally joked together its hard. As you look to God to give you faith,strength,patience, and more love for your husband. You said that he i not a big person to go tochurch. He is being used to derail your faith, without even knowing what he doing to you. Being newly married and my wife's travelling eschedure, Im left to take care of my self and the dog. I will pray for you and your marrage
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#4
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#4
It is very hard not to be bitter and resentful when you see your hubby playing computer games instead of helping around the house.

I suggest you have a serious talk with him. He'll probably blow up but don't react to it; try to remain calm while he gets it out of his system and then tell him it would be nice to talk about this problem in a calm and rational way because having a comfortable home-life is to everyone's benefit.

Maybe you can work out a list of jobs for each of you. If he remains uncooperative you may want to suggest counseling for you both. If he refuses, then maybe a temporary separation would help. He will see that you are serious. This in no way suggests divorce but that the home-life situation needs to be improved.

I think some men think that it's the wife duty to do ALL the housework...regardless if she's working an outside job or not. Once he sees that you just won't play this game, he may change. If he wants to do nothing but play video games, he can do it in his own place ...that he has to pay rent for, etc.

These video games are addictive and getting angry when something or someone interferes with the gaming is very common. He's got a problem and he needs to deal with it.

It would be very helpful for you to have a group of Christian ladies that can give you support as you go through this. And a pastor that can give you advice. Use this struggle to become closer to Christ...He will lead you through it :)

Praying for strength and guidance for you and that your husband will wake up to his problem.
 
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