New to God

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aworth

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I have been searching for God my entire life, last year i started going to a church where i was saved. It was an amazing expiernce. Then i had to move away to live with my new husband because he had just started his military career, ever since i have stopped going to church and i rarely pray. my husband does not agree with my beliefs so it does make worship difficult for me. he embarrasses me i guess. I want to find God again and be reconnected with him. my life is spiraling out of control. And now, only 8 days after our one year anniversay i discover he is cheating on me. I need guidance, i am lost. should i forgive him, or should i go home and start over?
 
"What God has but together, let no man should tear asunder." You need to talk to him and get him talking. There can not be a relationship if there is no trust. You need to find a way to get past this, and try to forgive him because God commands you to. God hates divorse. Divorcing him will not help your situation any. Now, keep in mind that I'm not God, and am just giving you my honest opinion. You need to pray, find what is wrong in your life. Find you have done to contribute to these problems. Find what is wrong between you and God. Now, I'm not going to go ranting saying what in the world are you doing marring at 18; but find what attracted you to him. Why did you marry him?

Now, the first thing I would do is see what did wrong to cause this distance between me and God. Because If I was in that kind of situation, I would be far from Him at this point. Next I would go to my parents for help; I trust my parents. I don't know your entire situation and I don't know what I would really do. But I hope that this helps you to a degree.

What you have to do is get back into the good ol' King James Bible. If you can get back into that your situation will get better. I don't know what God wants you do to, but you can find out in the Bible.
 
I can say one thing though, as made apparent. He will destroy your testimony and your christian life far more that you will ever influence him if he does not do a 180 very soon.
 
Is there a church near where you are? Or a few? Try a few out. I know him not wanting to be involved in that part of your life is a major misery and his recent actions must hurt even more, but at a time like this you most especially need to reconnect your life with God and find and make some supportive Christian connections. I know this sounds silly but if your having trouble praying maybe write a letter to God? I do it all the time cos I find it far more easier to just spill my agonies out when Im writing. Keep whatever you write in a safe hidden place or burn them knowing that youve got it out of your system and God saw every word you wrote.
If you need to talk some more, click on my name and private message me and we'll sort something out.

Melody
 
welcome to the world of god.. may god bless you immensely for choosing to have him as your saviour welcome.. :)
 
aworth said:
I have been searching for God my entire life, last year i started going to a church where i was saved. It was an amazing expiernce. Then i had to move away to live with my new husband because he had just started his military career, ever since i have stopped going to church and i rarely pray. my husband does not agree with my beliefs so it does make worship difficult for me. he embarrasses me i guess. I want to find God again and be reconnected with him. my life is spiraling out of control. And now, only 8 days after our one year anniversay i discover he is cheating on me. I need guidance, i am lost. should i forgive him, or should i go home and start over?
Click to expand...

I can empathize with your situation. You do have some very difficult decisions to make, but you have already realized one thing, placing distance between you and God, can eventually result in relationship difficulties of every kind. This is multiplied even more when your spouse does not share your Christian beliefs.

Unfaithfulness is difficult to handle and is a serious betrayal of trust. Individuals sometimes place divorce at the top of the sin list, as though God hates it more than any other transgression, but sins, apart from blaspheming the Holy Spirit, are not categorized by degrees. With the instability in your relationship with God, which you've already alluded to, I believe that is the priority. The emotional wounds are still fresh, and so I would not suggest making any hasty decisions.

Your relationship with God is the relationship that needs to be repaired first. Once you believe you have a more stable relationship with God, and have begun going to a supportive church, you will see more clearly to make decisions you believe are necessary. Please don't use internet relationships as your only means of support. You need real people to aid and support you, and with whom you can interact.

From experience, I can tell you that, if a separation is being considered, this can cause things to spiral downward quickly, as both partners begin to experience a sudden dose of freedom and are tempted to do as they will. Every situation is different, and so your decisions are yours alone, but I do recommend beginning to build a network of support. Fellowship with believing friends and consulting with a Pastor will help you during this time.
 
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Something you said in your post caught my attention. You said:
"Should i forgive him, or should i go home and start over?" Why don't you forgive him and start over? The meaning of the word forgiveness, according to my little dictionary, is: 1. "To give up resentment against or the desire to punish; to pardon (an offence or offender) 2. to cancel (a debt)." It doesn't mean you act like it's okay that he's hurt you, or that you have to just accept it. Just let the resentment, the need to do something about it, go. It hurts you far more than it hurts him. Forgive him, and then try to start over with the marriage you have maybe? There's this part in (1 Peter 3: 1-6 I believe) where it mentions how to "win" a lost husband. I like to read all the way to verse 12 ( Same book and chapter). Check it out. It's insightful.

I really, really believe you should find a church, (one that teaches from the Bible, not a "feel-good" church") and put your whole heart into learning and serving. I know your husband may act awful about it, but be persistant in your beliefs, and respect his right to be wrong. :)

Try to be respectful and kind, even if he really doesn't deserve it. And one thing you might try is having a Pastor cousel you. I know they usually do the couple's counseling, but see if your Pastor would be willing to counsil you concerning your marriage. It would provide insight and encouragement.

There's a book that my mom got a while ago which until about a year ago sat collecting dust on the shelf. Now I'm not married, but I was currious, so I read through the book. It's called "Created to be his Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. Dude. Wow. :) I don't agree with everything she writes, but for the most part she's spot-on. You sort of have to read it with an open mind. It makes for interesting reading, if ya ever want to read it through.

I don't know your name, but I'll be saying a prayer for you tonight. :) ****hugs****
 
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