Non-Negotiables

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stillwaiting4the1

Guest
#1
#1
What are some of your non-negotiables for a future spouse and why? By this I mean, what type of person are you looking for? What characteristics in a person are non-negotiable for you? For example, I will not even think about dating someone that is not a Christian. Some negotiables, on the other hand, might be, tall, dark, and handsome.
I ask this because I have high standards for my future spouse(if God brings him to me) and just want to know where other people stand on this.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#2
#2
non negotiable- Must not speak or understand English. Doing either of these things is totally unacceptable and is grounds for immediate termination.
 
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calvina

Guest
#3
#3
what i'm looking with a guy is a responsible and genuine christian,i want my man to be a firm and good leader so i will fully submit myself to him otherwise i will oppose if i know he is wrong.if GOD will give a so-so christian then i will just pray rather than getting oldmaid...

Proverbs15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#4
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#4
One non-negotiable for me would be a short women, who wears jeans so high they go up to her armpits, with high heels. I'm serious about that.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#5
Aug 2, 2009
24,708
4,350
113
#5
Having high-standards for your future spouse is putting your own wisdom and desires above Gods.

Jesus said, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." - James 4:3 NASB

It is best to keep an eye out for the one God sends than to weed out all who do not meet your standards.

A woman once had a dream that Jesus would come over her house for dinner so she prepared a wonderful dinner and got her house ready for her King. As evening apporached, a lame man knocked at her door. She quickly sent him away and waited on her Lord. Then a poor man came to her door and she also sent him away. As evening grew late, a blind man knocked at her door. She grew impatient and shewed him away. When the woman died she asked Jesus why he didnt show up that night and Jesus said to her, "I showed up three times and three times you sent me away."
 
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calvina

Guest
#6
#6
zeroturbulence said:
Having high-standards for your future spouse is putting your own wisdom and desires above Gods.

Jesus said, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." - James 4:3 NASB

It is best to keep an eye out for the one God sends than to weed out all who do not meet your standards.

A woman once had a dream that Jesus would come over her house for dinner so she prepared a wonderful dinner and got her house ready for her King. As evening apporached, a lame man knocked at her door. She quickly sent him away and waited on her Lord. Then a poor man came to her door and she also sent him away. As evening grew late, a blind man knocked at her door. She grew impatient and shewed him away. When the woman died she asked Jesus why he didnt show up that night and Jesus said to her, "I showed up three times and three times you sent me away."
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i'm touched! thanks..great reminder
 
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ShelleBelle76

Guest
#7
#7
zeroturbulence said:
A woman once had a dream that Jesus would come over her house for dinner so she prepared a wonderful dinner and got her house ready for her King. As evening apporached, a lame man knocked at her door. She quickly sent him away and waited on her Lord. Then a poor man came to her door and she also sent him away. As evening grew late, a blind man knocked at her door. She grew impatient and shewed him away. When the woman died she asked Jesus why he didnt show up that night and Jesus said to her, "I showed up three times and three times you sent me away."
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Thanks for reminding me that our perception is not necessarily God's reality!
 
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Wug

Guest
#8
#8
I need a godly woman with skill in ranged weaponry. I'm close combat oriented, so we could make a great team.
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#9
#9
Well non-negotiable is that they have to bea christian and not just say they are but that they have God at teh center of their lives...Everything else is negotiable in my mind because its up to God not me to determine that kind of stuff. Yes there is stuff I prefer in guys, but I've learned through my current crush that sometimes my opinions change, when I get to know the person and for the better.
 
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Chauncey

Guest
#10
#10
Well, they definitly number one, have to love God more than they love you. Secondly they have to be a person who's willing to change, not for you, but for God. If you think about, your relationship is going to go through many changes from the time your married till FORever! If they aren't Moldable, or really stubborn, your going to find your self giving more to the relationship trying to make it work, with them refusing to put forth the necessary needs. Moldability, and Passion for Christ are non-negotiable. Most of anything else can be learnt, if they don't start out with those traits though, they will bring more heartburn than love to the relationship. You can even start with those principles, and maybe it will start as a pre-mature relationship, but if your both doing your relationship through God. It will work out, and you gotta make sure its God will...lol thats the most important, just because you want it, doesn't mean God's going to follow you, you may have something good, in your eyes Great!, but God may have something "better". So ya...marriage is a big dealio!
 
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christiancollegegirl

Guest
#11
#11
Ohe one thing I will absolutely NOT negotiate on is he MuST be a Christian. Not one of those in-name-only Christians, but a real one. If he's a true christian, then he won't smoke, drink, use foul language and all that stuff.
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#12
May 5, 2009
2,570
24
38
#12
christiancollegegirl said:
Ohe one thing I will absolutely NOT negotiate on is he MuST be a Christian. Not one of those in-name-only Christians, but a real one. If he's a true christian, then he won't smoke, drink, use foul language and all that stuff.
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Won't drink at all? Or won't be addicted to drinking?
 
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christiancollegegirl

Guest
#13
#13
Well, he's allowed to drink tea, and coffee, and juice, and water, and.... I think you get the point. :p
 
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DABEARS85

Guest
#16
#16
christiancollegegirl said:
Ohe one thing I will absolutely NOT negotiate on is he MuST be a Christian. Not one of those in-name-only Christians, but a real one. If he's a true christian, then he won't smoke, drink, use foul language and all that stuff.
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I do all of those things wrong :( I'm still a true christian!!! I think we all struggle with sin in different ways.
 
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penguingal

Guest
#17
#17
DABEARS85 said:
I do all of those things wrong :( I'm still a true christian!!! I think we all struggle with sin in different ways.
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I think we're allowed to drink alcoholic drink as still stay as true Christians, as long as it's not addiction we're talking about. Didn't Jesus turn water to wine, couldn't be that bad having a few drink on a social occasion like somebody's wedding can it :p
 
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stillwaiting4the1

Guest
#18
#18
Having high-standards for your future spouse is putting your own wisdom and desires above Gods.

Jesus said, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." - James 4:3 NASB

It is best to keep an eye out for the one God sends than to weed out all who do not meet your standards.
Click to expand...

So maybe I wasn't clear. Tall, dark, and handsome are not in my negotiables, or my non-negotiables for that matter. My high standards are only high as far as the world is concerned. Most people, even those that call themselves Christians, think it is crazy not to date, and think that you have to put yourself out there to know what you want in a future spouse, and so on and so forth.
I have made a vow to God not to have sex until I am married and hope to have my first kiss at the altar on my wedding day. I have never even dated. I choose not to drink often, but I do have a piercing and a tattoo. I'm not perfect, though I don't think there is anything wrong with anything I have said thus far.
I would never intentionally put my own wisdom, which wouldn't be wisdom in the first place, before God's. I understand and believe that if God wants me to be single, I will be single, even if that means for the rest of my life. I don't have a burning desire for a man to come into my life this instant. Though I would love to meet my future husband(if there is one in God's plans for me) sooner rather than later, I know that God is working on me, and that I am not in the right place with Him, therefore I have no place bringing someone else into my life, expecting to have a healthy relationship with them.
 
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