NOT A JOKE - DEATH - HELP PLEASE

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asamanthinketh

Guest
#1
#1
I am one girl living on the earth, 1 of millions. Yet my family, my very own mother finds it in her heart and mind to kill me and to steal the spirit within me that keeps me alive. If she was not able to have patience with a baby, with a kid, and love me, rather than hurting me, she never should have asked for a child and got pregnant. No baby born intends to be a nuisance to their mother. My whole life has been ruined because she did not and does not know how to handle kids and does not truly love me. And she lives and breaths on this earth, yet acts like she is GOD. She acts as if she is GOD over my life and would not for one second allow others knowledge, abilities, and spirits to help me. At this point it is her desire to see me dead, and sadly it is working even though she is a liar. She is possesive and confuses my mind all the time, causing psychological damage that is unfixable. Something evil, something devilish inside of her insists on ruining my life. Well, she accomplished her task, does that make her happy to see me this way, knowing that she did it. Does it make her happy and satisfied that she killed a life that was precious and valuable to myself and to other people. Does it make her happy to realize that she hasn't even understood the error of her ways. Maybe it is my stupid fault for not discerning her heart, not discerning her character and making a right judgement, but I'm here now and no one is coming to rescue me. Despite all the sin and all the evil inside her, she judges my life and my actions to a perfect standard, one that she can't even meet. How can one person get away with telling so many lies, commiting so much sin, having no conscience, having no regard for a life that was created and became special to other people? I never did anything to her to deserve to be killed and die at an early age. NEVER. It is getting to the point, that although I know I cannot do it, I am wishing that someone come along and repay her for all that she has done to me. And that my request is heard and that I get a new spirit and live a long life. I have been telling my friends, pastors, spiritual people, teachers all along what has been happening but no one would listen. NOT A SINGLE SOUL. And I have told nothing but the truth. They have begun to act wickedly just like her. People who represent Jesus. So, I may be trusting this information to the wrong people but I have nothing left but to hope that somewhere, somehow this is heard and that the truth comes out. That people can see past my age, and begin to mend me and give me a new spirit. Although I am weak against her and how everyone else has not been strong enough in their own minds to assume their own thoughts about me, in my heart of hearts I don't want to die, not right now. But I don't know what to do.
 
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songster

Guest
#2
#2
I've read your post and it comes across pretty strongly that you feel no one understands you, and no one listens. I want to encourage you to believe that God will not leave you. Whatever is happening now, is not too big for God to handle. Sometimes when you're in an environment that is given to confusion, disagreement and constant offenses, it can be difficult to hear God.

It may be difficult to believe, but we voluntarily give people control over our lives, sometimes without realizing it. This can be an indication that we have become overlly dependent on a particular person. Perhaps your mother is intimidating or may have a controlling personality, but in any event, whether or not your mother is at fault for what you're experiencing isn't the main problem, and convincing others to see it your way won't bring healing into your life. The main issue here is that you believe she is. Your spiritual status is listed as unsure, and if you haven't fully turned your life over to God through Jesus Christ, that's the first step.

I strongly recommend putting distance between you and your mother. You mentioned that you've brought the details of your situation to Pastors, friends and others. Certainly one of them can help you to find employment or a place to stay temporarily until you're able to secure your own living arrangement.

Being a believer, or trying to stand for righteousness in a household of wrongdoers, is not an easy thing, but as often as it's possible, it may be a good idea for you not to respond to those in your household in a way that might antagonize them or in a way that would cause them to see you as self righteous, instead of the devoted Christian you're trying to be.

I don't know what emotional abuse you may have suffered, but I want to encourage you to find your focus, and believe that God is able to either bring healing to your present situation or that He will remove you from it. Don't try to convince others of how bad your situation is, but use the willing support of others to help you to bring stability to your own life.
 
Last edited:
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#3
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#3
I am so sorry that you have to know this pain. I know what it is like to see such evil and deception in the faces of those that should love and cherish you. Then to have them mock you for your pain.
All I can tell you is that like songster said, look to Jesus. He will not fail you. It was in Jesus that I found out what real love is and what it is to be cherished.
It was also through him I learned to forgive. Not just for the sake of the one that hurt me, but so that I could be free of all the sorrow and hurt.
Call on Jesus, talk to him, tell Our Father in heaven all you feel, even your anger. God Our Father is really good with anger, he also has a great sence of humor. He will bring you healing and hope.
It may seem to take time to know healing, but that is only because it takes time for us to see all our own hurt. Also, God likes to make sure the work is well done.
When you see his love for you , it is a joy beyond words.
My favoret scripture when is comes to tears is revalation 7:17 And he will wipe away all our tears.
You are in my prayers. God bless, pickles
 
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ghreyz

Guest
#4
#4
in my life i know someone like that very destructive behavior. she tried also doing that to me and i am also in bridge of destruction but thankfully God intervene. I was lucky enough that He touches me in early teen age life. i was about to hate the world. i created my own world that trust and hope is not in dictionary, is only a world the revolve and the world full hatred and madness. it just so happen the circles friends i made are not also strong a got friends for simply study no emotion attach, friends for fun and friends for bringing a child to my heart. three groups different with purposes and to be honest i don't really have any emotional attachment i am there when they need me and i have different mask when i got home i am the angry one and misunderstood.
one day in school camp the pastor ask for prayer i just close my eyes then i felt a warm hands touch my shoulder. then go on with my life every now it hunt me.after four years these person was on the phone and talking and saying against my mother, to be honest at that time i don't know my mother i mean how was she and is it the same mother i was a child (my mom was always overseas) you know what until these day i don' t know what got on me I SIMPLY WALK OUT as in WALK OUT TO HER LIFE.
After two years I talk to her what was on my heart I told her Thank you and I forgave you (even i don't mean about it) i told her i know you old enough and if you think you cannot change you can, you already hurt a lot of people and you will hurt more I only pray that one day you find forgiveness in your heart.
at that i forgave with any meaning but now as time pass i know how deeply it means to me.

this will be harsh but i prayed that somehow it can help
_________________________________________________________________
in able to be whole again: first you have to recognize the pain and what just happen.
second: acceptance in whole process we cannot blame only that person who hurt us we do also allow them. and answer the question: why do we allow these person to ruin everything while this is my life?
third and very important: pray for God forgiveness it open our heart to all possibility.
fourth: forgive yourself and the finall task will be forgiving other people and fifth but not the least LET GO of the Pain and gave all of it to the Hands of God.
 
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asamanthinketh

Guest
#5
#5
NO, no one is able to help me find employment or a temporary place to stay. And it has been more than emotional and spiritual abuse, it has been physical abuse also. At one time I would have called myself a Christian, but Christians have failed me and acted as hypocrites, so I no longer believe that in order to live rightly on the earth as the Lord made us do we need to label ourselves Christians all the time.

songster said:
I've read your post and it comes across pretty strongly that you feel no one understands you, and no one listens. I want to encourage you to believe that God will not leave you. Whatever is happening now, is not too big for God to handle. Sometimes when you're in an environment that is given to confusion, disagreement and constant offenses, it can be difficult to hear God.

It may be difficult to believe, but we voluntarily give people control over our lives, sometimes without realizing it. This can be an indication that we have become overlly dependent on a particular person. Perhaps your mother is intimidating or may have a controlling personality, but in any event, whether or not your mother is at fault for what you're experiencing isn't the main problem, and convincing others to see it your way won't bring healing into your life. The main issue here is that you believe she is. Your spiritual status is listed as unsure, and if you haven't fully turned your life over to God through Jesus Christ, that's the first step.

I strongly recommend putting distance between you and your mother. You mentioned that you've brought the details of your situation to Pastors, friends and others. Certainly one of them can help you to find employment or a place to stay temporarily until you're able to secure your own living arrangement.

Being a believer, or trying to stand for righteousness in a household of wrongdoers, is not an easy thing, but as often as it's possible, it may be a good idea for you not to respond to those in your household in a way that might antagonize them or in a way that would cause them to see you as self righteous, instead of the devoted Christian you're trying to be.

I don't know what emotional abuse you may have suffered, but I want to encourage you to find your focus, and believe that God is able to either bring healing to your present situation or that He will remove you from it. Don't try to convince others of how bad your situation is, but use the willing support of others to help you to bring stability to your own life.
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A

asamanthinketh

Guest
#6
#6
I have done that and she was able to steal my love for God away and destroy it. That is the greatness of eternal power that exists within us.
 
A

asamanthinketh

Guest
#7
#7
the sad part of life is that we don't always receive healing
 
S

songster

Guest
#8
#8
asamanthinketh said:
the sad part of life is that we don't always receive healing
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Giving God complete control is not easy. We try very hard to figure things out, and to find ways to fix our situations, but when we run out of options, asking for God's help through prayer, can change our lives and our circumstances. Are you in any type of counseling right now?
 
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asamanthinketh

Guest
#9
#9
NO, there is no counseling that will fix this because it would be onesided. The people who are causing the harm do not want to change. And some of it is a spiritual issue. And some of it is taking care of my physical well-being.

And when I have been to counseling they do not humbly listen to what i have to say. Instead they take the side of my mother because they still think that because I am living with her that she has the ultimate authority over my life. When in reality I am an adult who should be receiving respect in this house as a living being. Not someone to punch, abouse, and kill.

songster said:
Giving God complete control is not easy. We try very hard to figure things out, and to find ways to fix our situations, but when we run out of options, asking for God's help through prayer, can change our lives and our circumstances. Are you in any type of counseling right now?
Click to expand...
 
S

songster

Guest
#10
#10
asamanthinketh said:
NO, there is no counseling that will fix this because it would be onesided. The people who are causing the harm do not want to change. And some of it is a spiritual issue. And some of it is taking care of my physical well-being.

And when I have been to counseling they do not humbly listen to what i have to say. Instead they take the side of my mother because they still think that because I am living with her that she has the ultimate authority over my life. When in reality I am an adult who should be receiving respect in this house as a living being. Not someone to punch, abouse, and kill.[/quote]


Does the Pastor know about the physical abuse?
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