Hi,
its a horrible situation to be in, i really feel for you.
I believe 2 things are important to remember in this situation.
1. As a parent you are to bring your children up in the way they should go. Modern society says your kids should be free tondo what they want as soon as they are legally an adult.
You wont find that anywhere in scripture however. Look at 1 sam 2, at Eli and his 2 grown sons.
Eli by doing nothing enabled them to live in sin and to end up being rejected by God. God held him to account despite the fact he had told rebuked them and that they were grown men. Verbally he had said it was wrong but practically he just let them live as if it was okay, despite there being no repentance.
biblical teaching for parents is to hold their children accountable, and not to overlook sin.
2. Jesus forgives, and instructed us to forgive, WHEN there is repentance. We are to forgive AS He forgives us. Its Conditional. Father God forgives His children IF they repent.
What messages do we give our children, when they lie to us and use us, if we forgive them without requiring true repentance? No matter what we say audibly, our actions teach them.
We say Father God is there to be used for our purposes, obedience is not important, habitual sin is not a problem, repentance is not important, honouring your parents is not important, it is beneficial to consider yourself more important than others, and that it is profitable to sin, as there are no long term repercussions.
My advice would be to tell your wife it is vital you are both in agreement with Gods word and each other. Encourage her to do a study with you, on grown children's responsibilities to parents in scripture and vice versa, and on Gods atritude to those who refuse to act on a rebuke, and just carry on living in sin.
As head of the house, you are responsible for leading the family in the things of God, and your wife and son etc should respect that.
If your wife hasn’t been taught the biblical way to deal with an adult child and maybe feels she is obeying God and you arent, she is doing what a good Christian does in obeying what she thinks Jesus told Us to do. Its up to you to gently educate her using the word of God.
Last thought, not assuming this scenario is happening, but it seems from some of your posts that your son and his gf might be living together in your house. If that is the case. I havent read every comment so forgive me if you clarified that as not being the case, but if it is, then it would be very difficult to tell anyone they are wrong to overlook your daughters sin and for treating her likes it isnt a big deal.
Even if she has to move out for a while, I really hope that tour daughter actually repents and deals with her sin, and that your relationship is repaired. Bless you.
...The word practice makes all the difference...I have failed so many times in my walk with our Lord...Yes through all the trials I have gone through with my children/grandchildren , I am learning each time...No one gets it right straight away , and that word practice is so important for us...We will be forever learning and practicing until the good Lord calls us home...
