Why is it I can't stay away from things I know are not good for me? Seriously - if my heart would just listen to my head a little more often, I wouldn't find myself in a pickle quite so frequently.
But I find I cannot help myself - I have tried to deny myself this one thing - something I know I should not be indulging in - it's not sinful - it's just not the path for me. I know this, I know this in my head and in my heart of hearts. Through prayer, and lots of thinking and OVER thinking - and RE-thinking. But I just can't get it into my heart to listen -
Oh walls of vascular tissue - how un-penetrable is you mindless will ! That I should bend you and break you to listen - to the ways of which I know I should go.
*sigh*
It is like a war within me - Try as I might, I have yet to silence the yearnings of my heart with the reasonings of my mind - try as I may, I cannot convince my mind the feeling of heart is right. I feel like I am loosing myself, and my heart is breaking - but also that it must.
I just wish this would pass - like that quick and fleeting pain you feel after hitting your hand with the hammer - stings a bit, but fades quickly and hardly ever leaves a mark.
Oh God - Take this.
But I find I cannot help myself - I have tried to deny myself this one thing - something I know I should not be indulging in - it's not sinful - it's just not the path for me. I know this, I know this in my head and in my heart of hearts. Through prayer, and lots of thinking and OVER thinking - and RE-thinking. But I just can't get it into my heart to listen -
Oh walls of vascular tissue - how un-penetrable is you mindless will ! That I should bend you and break you to listen - to the ways of which I know I should go.
*sigh*
It is like a war within me - Try as I might, I have yet to silence the yearnings of my heart with the reasonings of my mind - try as I may, I cannot convince my mind the feeling of heart is right. I feel like I am loosing myself, and my heart is breaking - but also that it must.
I just wish this would pass - like that quick and fleeting pain you feel after hitting your hand with the hammer - stings a bit, but fades quickly and hardly ever leaves a mark.
Oh God - Take this.