on my own

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thais

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hello everyone. i have some issues about myself that i don't even knos how to start. the thing is that i decided to get apart from God some months ago. why? because i realized that church is boring. i feel like what the pastor says are just nice things. i know ii have to be grateful with God for so many thungs he's done in my life. i don't fell self-independent, but ilike going out and have time with my buddies drinking but not to the point to get drunk and looks like a *****. i also like reggaeton and other sort of music with lyrics kinda different. howvw, i wanna get married one day and forever...

it's funny because before it wasme who claimed God was everything to me and things like that. even when i pray and thank God i still wanna live this life "apart from him".

do i look like: hey, thanks 4 everything but let me choose the life i want.?

i don't want u guys be like: how come you do this and stuff like that. just leave some comments but don't blame me.

(i don't wanna go back to be a christian again. i wanna leave this life on my own withiut living like an animal. i want a life with straight rules according to myself.)
 
In that case I say you never really got to know and have a relationship with Jesus, all you knew was church. I pray you may one day finally meet him.
 
It's nice to want to live a life that's good. But living a good life isn't good enough to be with God in His home because His home is perfect. I'm talking about heaven. Knowing Jesus and being His servant is the only way that Jesus would accept you back into His home. As creatures made by God, we all should be under God's opinion of what's good. And that's found in the Holy Bible.