Online dating?

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I met with two ladies that I met and talked to for a long time online. I would not classify these meetings as "date's", just friends meeting.

They were wonderful meetings. They were beautiful, polished people. They were exactly who they said they were.

I met several people face to face that I met and talked to for a long period online. All great results. I never had a bad experience with a person I met online.

For me, I need to talk to a person for a long time before I have a face to face meeting.

The negative results I had was with people I met face to face. The internet allows me a chance to screen people first, also I do not have time to just "hang out" and meet people. I am too busy.
 
I see nothing wrong with meeting and getting to know someone online. I met 2 or 3 guys, but they weren't my type. I also have no issue with meeting people socially, but have limited opportunities for this. Also, since I answer questions honestly and don't try to misrepresent myself, it seems to "scare" guys away. I generally tell people, male and female, whatcha see is whatcha get. Yes, I'm a professional but when not at work, I'm a rather simple person and that's what you'll see. This leads me to believe that a lot of people want to meet someone who's not forthright - I've been told by someone that being upfront kills the "mysteriousness". Ya know what? I really don't care...I'm me and while I'd like to have someone in my life, I won't pretend or be someone I'm not. I've also been told I'm too nice...really?!? I don't think Christians can be too nice. I should point out that these type of comments are made by persons who don't understand God's plan for us. Good luck and whether online or in person, remember to be safe and not make rash decisions - first and foremost, keep God at the center of whatever you do!
 
I am on an online dating site now, I refuse to meet a guy until I feel comfortable talking to him online(getting along great, having things to talk about, him knowing things that he wouldn't know unless we would have met in person to begin with, etc.). But even then I still do my own investigative work, one guy I met his real dad was my neighbor(this guy lived an hour away), so I was able to talk to his dad ahead of time. Another guy I met actually worked with my brother but he had only found that out when he saw a picture of me and brother together(and my brothers wife had been nagging my brother to introduce me and this guy). This guy I am talking to right now(keep in mind that this has been over the last 5 years) went to school with my cousin and her husband and knows my aunt and uncle.
And I really hate it when guys just send flirts, I never respond to them, if their resorting to flirts only then it's wasting my time. I wish they would just send an actual message, by that I know that they are actually interested.
But i guess it's just the site your on and how you go about it, I was on a christian website and they had a chat room where anyone and everyone could chat with each other, I met some pretty awesome girls from Australia, a guy from Arizona, people all over and really enjoyed my time on the site.
My cousin met her husband online. I've heard more success stories than not.
Oh yeah, when I am talking to any guy online I pray for guidance and wisdom and protection that I can make the right choices so if that guy is a psychopath then praying about it hopefully the Holy Ghost can guide me to know to stay away from that guy, does that make sense?
Good luck. There are some amazing guys out there, I just hope for your sake and mine we can find them. :)
 
I think that the most important thing to concentrate on first in any relationship, whether it be online or not, is if you and the person you're interested in are equally yoked in Christ. This doesn't have to mean that you agree 100% on everything (For example, I'm a believer in once saved, always saved and my fiancee is not. But we're both okay with each other's views on this. Neither of us views that as a make-or-break belief as long as we're both focused on God). But are you both in similar places in your walk with Christ? Also, do you both agree that Christ should be the foundation on which your relationship should be built upon?

I truly believe if both people in the relationship honestly answer yes to the above two questions and work to keep things that way, that everything else will fall into place.

My fiancee and I are very different people who look at things in very different ways. But the one thing that holds us together stronger than anything else is our faith in Christ. Nothing can separate that bond unless one of us lets that happen. And I can say that neither of us are planning on doing that.
 
Not to spook you guys or nothing, but everyone EVEN CONSIDERING online dating needs to watch the 2005 indie flick 'Hard Candy' starring Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson. It's about a 14 year old teen girl and a 32 year old photographer who first meet online and then decide to meet in person and things... well, things aren't nearly what they seem or what you guys probably expect. And why is this film relevant to this topic? Because Wilson's character chillingly states during the in-person meeting: 'I think it's good to meet people online first... get to know what they're like inside.' If only he knew... if only he knew.
 
VansRComfy11 said:
Not to spook you guys or nothing, but everyone EVEN CONSIDERING online dating needs to watch the 2005 indie flick 'Hard Candy' starring Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson. It's about a 14 year old teen girl and a 32 year old photographer who first meet online and then decide to meet in person and things... well, things aren't nearly what they seem or what you guys probably expect. And why is this film relevant to this topic? Because Wilson's character chillingly states during the in-person meeting: 'I think it's good to meet people online first... get to know what they're like inside.' If only he knew... if only he knew.
Click to expand...

Way to creep everyone out, Rocco. Haha :P
 
Follow god through whatever channel he may lead you. I met my wife on a phone chat service. I only saw her on weekends cause I lived a ways away. After 1 month we got married. God gave me peace with the idea of marriage though. We have been married almost ten years now. It can work if you listen to god
 
Hey Bridgette! welcome to CC!
I think a lot of guys are looking for commitment. Some are just extremely cautious about it and that's a good thing :)
 
I didn't read all the responses, so I'll just throw my opinion out there.

My mom and stepdad met online the early winter of 2006. They started out as friends, chatting constantly (I'd always hear my mom's laughter in her bedroom but didn't realize she was talking to someone she had never met before). They met after a few months of friendship--having never even seen photographs of each other, and it was love. They met the spring of '06, moved in together by the fall of the same year, and were married the fall of the following year. To me, it was weird. It was all too fast. My stepdad didn't seem like my mom's type, and I didn't see what she saw in him. However, I can also say that I have never seen her happier. He is truly her soul-mate and they never would have met if it wasn't for the internet. (He lived in another state originally). 6 years after meeting, they are still together, and happy. That's not to say they haven't had their issues, but because they were both honest online, they worked.

I've also seen so many failed online relationships. People meeting here even, marrying, and then getting divorced only a short time later. When you talk to someone so long online, you tend to imagine them in a way that might not be fitting. It's not that they're doing anything... it's you. You make them out to be sweet and cute and flawless because it's easy. You put expectations on them that they'll never succeed in fulfilling. You don't get to see all of their quirks through typed words on a screen--quirks that could potentially drive you crazy.

I do not think that long distance online dating works. If you have the ability to see someone in person after a short while of talking online (maybe a couple of months), and then establish an in-person relationship it could work. But long distance chatting, meeting a couple of times in person, and then getting married... probably not smart.

Even me, I met my best friend online... We talked EVERY day for 3 years, and took a week's vacation together after a year and a half. During our week vacation he seemed exactly the same. A year after that, I went to visit him for longer. I stayed with him for three months last summer and our relationship changed dramatically. Are we still friends? Of course! But I don't hold him in the same regard as I did when we were just online friends. Admittedly, I had liked him as more for some time, but those feelings completely vanished. I saw him in his world. I saw all of his quirks and how he is in person vs online. He's the same, yes, but he's also very, very different. I think we all are.

Personally, I don't think I'd ever date someone I met online, unless they happened to live very close to me. I need to be able to see them in their world, and I need them to be able to see me in mine. Plus I like the close touching/holding hands/kissing bits of the relationship and couldn't take not having that for long periods of time! :P Haha
 
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