outlandish to realistic or realistic to outlandish story telling

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EmilyNats said:
Okay, quick question. Am I supposed to throw out a new story at this point, or revise the last one?
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Well I suppose just "pick" a story and change it up and before posting try to let us know first what way you are going,outlandish or realistic,though I guess it would be good to have it that every "ten posts" a "new story" can be told instead for revising,so that means since this is post 20 that 2 "new stories" can be made for revisal(changing up) this sounds good so that's the "new rule"!
 
Alright! So here is my outlandish story:

Once upon a time, there was strawberry poptart who suffered from manic-depression. After struggling day after day for an extended period of time, he finally decided to go on a trip with his younger brother, chocolate poptart. And so one night the snuck out of the house and out to the barnyard. They tried to catch a ride to Alabama on a goose, but found that the geese might actually be less interested in travel and more interested in consuming their would-be passengers. And so instead of a pleasant vacation, the two sibling tarts spent the first day of their journey trying to fight off and elude the geese. Their effort were valiant, but with night approaching, the two sought shelter within what they thought to be a rabbit hole. "I think we're safe," strawberry said to chocolate. “What should we do now?” Being the young pop tarts they were, they soon decided to see how far the tunnel went. After travelling some time, the tunnel opened up into a strange-looking place. “Where are we?” Asked chocolate asked his brother. “Why, you're in wonderland!” A well-dressed rabbit with a spectacle exclaimed as he hopped by. After vacationing there for awhile, defeating a dragon and evil queen, and having countless misadventures, the two brothers eventually decided to settle down and stay in wonderland, eventually conquering it and ruling it with an iron first, and becoming prosperous beyond words.
 
EmilyNats said:
Alright! So here is my outlandish story:

Once upon a time, there was strawberry poptart who suffered from manic-depression. After struggling day after day for an extended period of time, he finally decided to go on a trip with his younger brother, chocolate poptart. And so one night the snuck out of the house and out to the barnyard. They tried to catch a ride to Alabama on a goose, but found that the geese might actually be less interested in travel and more interested in consuming their would-be passengers. And so instead of a pleasant vacation, the two sibling tarts spent the first day of their journey trying to fight off and elude the geese. Their effort were valiant, but with night approaching, the two sought shelter within what they thought to be a rabbit hole. "I think we're safe," strawberry said to chocolate. “What should we do now?” Being the young pop tarts they were, they soon decided to see how far the tunnel went. After travelling some time, the tunnel opened up into a strange-looking place. “Where are we?” Asked chocolate asked his brother. “Why, you're in wonderland!” A well-dressed rabbit with a spectacle exclaimed as he hopped by. After vacationing there for awhile, defeating a dragon and evil queen, and having countless misadventures, the two brothers eventually decided to settle down and stay in wonderland, eventually conquering it and ruling it with an iron first, and becoming prosperous beyond words.
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good story!
 
EmilyNats said:
Alright! So here is my outlandish story:

Once upon a time, there was strawberry poptart who suffered from manic-depression. After struggling day after day for an extended period of time, he finally decided to go on a trip with his younger brother, chocolate poptart. And so one night the snuck out of the house and out to the barnyard. They tried to catch a ride to Alabama on a goose, but found that the geese might actually be less interested in travel and more interested in consuming their would-be passengers. And so instead of a pleasant vacation, the two sibling tarts spent the first day of their journey trying to fight off and elude the geese. Their effort were valiant, but with night approaching, the two sought shelter within what they thought to be a rabbit hole. "I think we're safe," strawberry said to chocolate. “What should we do now?” Being the young pop tarts they were, they soon decided to see how far the tunnel went. After travelling some time, the tunnel opened up into a strange-looking place. “Where are we?” Asked chocolate asked his brother. “Why, you're in wonderland!” A well-dressed rabbit with a spectacle exclaimed as he hopped by. After vacationing there for awhile, defeating a dragon and evil queen, and having countless misadventures, the two brothers eventually decided to settle down and stay in wonderland, eventually conquering it and ruling it with an iron first, and becoming prosperous beyond words.
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I think its even better than the original! :rolleyes:
 
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